Well, we're no Florida, but Georgia is putting in the effort. Naked man tased on freeway, spits on deputy
Georgia is a basic bitch: Florida man destroys girlfriend's car because she said his grandmother sodomized him in his dreams. "The creams and lotions." Both these stories are from today, by the way.
That's just gross. I'll have you know she was impressed with my ability to grow hair, or not grow hair if you will. Seriously, she even showed me my pubes after she ripped them out to show me how fine the roots were. Apparently that makes them easier to yank out. It sure didn't feel easy. She also complimented my eyebrows. It was a rather weird appointment. Okay, so when she told me to turn on my belly and put my arms back, I had no idea what she meant, so I kind of just did this thing with my elbows thinking what the hell is this supposed to do? Then she said, "no you need to grab your butt cheeks and spread them." Oooohhhh....but I guess I spread them too far because she then says, "well, not spread them, just pull them apart a little." Boy, was my face red! I also asked her if she thought she'd have a career where she stares at vaginas all day. She said she'd do brazilians all day as opposed to eyebrows. To each their own I guess. Edit: Oh hey! You guys might want to know this. So she said I did pretty well, and it really wasn't that bad. More shocking when you don't know what to expect. But she said she's had some screamers (huh? Really?) and that some that lock their legs. I had to lay there with my knees bent out and my feet touching. So all I could picture is someone (I say someONE because a dude came out while I was waiting) getting nervous and this woman trying to pry their knees open to apply the wax. You know how hard it is to talk casual when someone is doing this shit? The answer is very. It's very hard.
Sometimes I'll have two, maybe three servings of drugs at a time, but all of them? That's just irresponsible.
Can we be serious about something for once? I'm sure her husband will appreciate her effort. Hairy assholes are such a turnoff when it comes to anal.
As a man familiar with the lesbian community, the above is an absolute myth. While one may look more feminine, the overwhelming majority of lesbian couples I see (and my sister is a lesbian, Philly is gay friendly, I've bartended here, I cat sit (yes, it's a stereo type but one that is very true) so I've seen many many couples) are very unattractive. It's what's always baffled me about the sexuality of gay men and women - many go out of their way to LOOK like the other sex and dating each other. I'm not making fun at all (my sister got really pissed off when I asked her about it), I get the whole 'hey I like cock' or 'I like chowing down on some carpet' thing. What I don't get is then going out and dating someone that looks the opposite of what you allegedly want. Utterly baffling to me. But then again, I don't get the whole 'flats/heels,' or 'handjobs are better than blowjobs' thing either.
One thing I've seen that's kinda odd is lesbian couples where the women kinda look like each other. No butch vs feminine, but could actually be mistaken for sisters.
One of my best friends is basically dating the white version of herself. (The two in front, obviously)
Shiner released a 106th birthday chocolate stout. A friend of mine is mailing me a sixer from Texas. The Husband and BrotherA are trying to lay claim to MY SIX PACK OF BEER, claiming pregnancy. I'mma shank them.
Let them claim it. Then when them revenuers show up for sending alcohol across state lines, you can say "it was dem, off'cer. Git 'em!"
I know it's a little late, but the bar has been very busy here this week. Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year you idiots!!
Their birthday beer is fantastic. I've already gone through a few 12-packs of it. It's not as heavy as most stouts, has more of a bock weight to it (which makes sense, because shiner bock). But because of that, you can drink a lot of them. I'm spoiled on Shiner living in Texas.
Umm, am I the only one here who thinks its a good idea that you don't actually drink that beer? Unless you are planning on waiting until the end of your pregnancy to drink it...
Reminds me of this tumblr I found a couple weeks ago that I thought was super creepy: http://boyfriendtwin.tumblr.com/
I never want to be in a place where my social life depends on how perfectly quaffed my chest hair is. Girl is lucky I trim my pubes, otherwise it looks like a hairy octopus attacking a schooner. There is this couple who look like brother and sister, like Milhouse's parents. They creep the shit out of me. Small eyes made smaller with heavy prescription glasses, weaselly looking. They both look like greasy, malnourished pedos. No, they look exactly like Paul Dano in Prisoners. But stinkier. If it is found out they have a locked room full of kidnapped Guatemalan children nobody will be surprised. But nevermind that shit. WENDY'S HAS THE MONTERREY RANCH CHICKEN SANDWICH BACK. Everything in my soul tells me this will be garbage, but I need it for old time's sake. I don't even like ranch dressing. But it's zesty ranch so, game on, Mr. Toilet.
Eh. I'm not opposed to pregnant women having a beer (especially one that's low alcohol content) or a glass of wine from time to time. There are numerous studies in the UK and Australia that suggest that light drinking (or even moderate drinking) isn't harmful. American doctors err on the side of caution. European doctors tend to be more open to the idea. I read an article last night that said "Drinking like a typical European adult is different from drinking like an American fraternity brother." That said, I'm incredibly paranoid right now, and will continue to be paranoid until past the viability mark. So she can send me the beer, and I'll put it in my cabinet with the rest of my stuff. Regarding Shiner - it's really (IMO) one of the easier beers to drink. Tasty and not crazy heavy. And I dislike IPAs, so none of them even compare..