What is the thinking behind this? Where do you put it between jerk off sessions? Is there a set number before you throw it in the laundry? "Oh, I've only come on this shirt twice, it's not time for it to be cleaned, so back on the closet floor it goes?"
It is now that time of year where I change christmas songs to be offensive/racist. Just got through singing along to "Have yourself an anorexic christmas". Bet you can't guess the original singer...
Sounds like a lot of you are having miserable Thanksgivings. Think of it this way - your Canadian brethren are actually at work today, toiling away in their respective salt mines while you all bask in your football and turkey. Oh, and a pregnant girl at work (NOT ME) just threw up on the carpet because she missed her garbage can. Hilarity did not ensue.
Mmm, bubble tea. I'm having a great day so far. My daughter and I watched the parades this morning, playing Jimmy Fallon's parade bingo. Just finished a leisurely lunch (with beer, since I'm not going anywhere) and about to get the turkey in the oven. Last night we watched Tommy Boy and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. I thought my kid was going to barf from laughing so hard at Farley. RIP a great physical comedian.
We haven't even eaten yet and I just want to go to bed. I went to work at 5 this morning....scooping poop and all that shit. Sleep sounds amazing.
I came down with tonsillitis and spent wed. and thursday cooking. I went to bed at 8 pm, and now at midnight I am up with a fever, (I can't sleep with a fever, I am to convinced if I sleep I will die) drinking wine, and wondering if I should eat more pie.
We're paying homage to your culture! Seriously, just when I thought it couldn't suck worse being a "Washington" fan....this year happened. Isn't hatred for someone simply for rooting for a football team supposed to concentrated 100% into Cowboys fans just like the Book Of Revelations instructed us to?
What the fuck are those words on his sleeve? I assume they are bigoted in some way, but I just can't figure out how.
They are names of different people. One is Drummer John Adams, a season ticket fan with a Tom Selleck moustache who sits in the bleachers at Indians games and pounds on a giant bass drum. Another, Len Barker, was a player for the Indians. The shirt isn't what offensive, but that scene is basically the equivalent of me putting on blackface make-up and then yelling "What the fuck is YOUR problem?!?!" in a black person's face.
Thanksgiving was nice and relaxing. Had ham instead of turkey, but it was delicious ham so no loss there. The losses actually started when me and my Dad played Venezuelan rules dominos and lost three games to one to his wife and her mom. I'm just glad we were playing with those two, because if it would've my Dad's buddies and money would've been involved, and my unemployed ass can't afford gambling losses.
5 hours sleep. Wake up for bagels with lox, onion, capers, and cream cheese. Coffee. Friend comes over. Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale, Stella, Fat Tire. Start the turkey fryer. Bird is brined in salt water, beer, and jerk marinade. Cornbread chorizo stuffing, green bean casserole, broccoli casserole. Champagne. Then pecan pie. Aperitif of Noah's Mill 15 year bourbon. Coffee with sugar, cream, Noah's Mill. I am so goddamned out of my mind right now. My limbs feel heavy and weightless simultaneously. I can see spacetime. I might go for a walk in the cold just to clear my head.