2014 Thanksgiving Drunk Thread

You just wrote a Tim McGraw song with that post.

Of they're so fond of giving orders on another's relationship they should join a cult. Your business is none of their business.

 

Replying with , mind your own fucking business, was a phrase I learned to say with ease and confidence. Practice in the mirror as it is a true statement.

 

So I go away Thanksgiving weekend. The hotel is a dump, the foot of the bed is higher than the head of the bed, and my mom is regaling me with reality TV show updates.

Anyone want to know about The Little Couple or 19 Kids and Counting so far, hit me up. I'm waiting for her sleeping pills to kick in. Luckily she had a decaf coffee, so it should happen any moment.

 

My family keeps asking me about kids. My sister in law asked my wife if she was pregnant when she declined some wine. Fucking annoying.

 

When one of my closest friends got married four years ago, his parents demanded grandchildren, despite the fact both he and his wife are adamant about not having kids. Despite the fact they have grandchildren through his older brother, his parents now refuse to speak to him and his wife because they want to live their life the way they want...without kids because they DON'T want kids. But oh no that's not what tradition demands...

Childish, Mickey-Mouse bullshit. Stop filling your life-voids by using your adult kids as vessels.

 

This Sam Adams Winter Lager is pretty tasty.

I don't know what I was typing, but my phone corrected that to lacquer 3 times before I got lager. I'm sure the Winter Lacquer is tasty, too.

What's the day after Thanksgiving called? Bloat Day?

 

Why the fuck did i eat some much day, now i don't need to eat for at least a day, day.

 

You're both drunk.

Show me your tits!

That's how it's done, right?

My mom finally passed out. Let the snoring begin!

On the upside, I got lots of shopping done today. I may have bought some stuff for myself. Yeah, so? I challenge any of you to resist the sales I saw today.

I needed those sneakers! And workout stuff, and that shirt. NEEDED it I say!

 

Or, wake up your mom

No, we get drunk and you show us your tits, that's how it works.

And, what's a nibling?

 

I'm going to assume "sibling", there, for "nibling".

 

You saved me hours of Googling. Thanks.

And it looks like you all had a much better night than me. How wrong was it of me to kick my mom "accidentally" when she was snoring? Maybe a little harder necessary.

 

I have no idea, but it does illustrate the fact that hotels have more than one room for a reason.

 

Yes but this one only cost $50 for the whole weekend after splitting it. I don't know why it's a dump. I have expressed my desire for a better hotel next year to which I got "That might cost us $75 each."

 

Buy one less shirt and offer to make up the difference.

 

If a guy making potato salad can raise $50K, I'm sure you can crowdfund $50 for a hotel upgrade.

 

Gilf

I'm in for $10 just to hear the story.

Happyfunball: "Mom, we're staying at the Ritz this time."
funball's hot mom: "Oh, we can't afford that!"
Happyfunball: "No, it's cool. The Idiot Board is paying for it."

 

Re: Gilf

I suspect the conditions this place would put on this transaction would be conditions she wouldn't discuss with her mother.

 

This is the best quote from any comedy cartoon this year, bar none.