This is really off topic... It seems like the older I get, the earlier I wake up. On Sunday when I have a good 5+ hours until football starts I have started watching EPL soccer. My main exposure to soccer before this was the World Cup. I find EPL to be a 10x greater product. The players actually play with a sense of urgency, the whistle doesn't blow whenever someone glances at the player carrying the ball, and I hardly see any flops. It seems like you actually have to fuck someone up to get a foul. I know nothing about politics in the UK, but I do know that the Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret is amazing. This show could never be made in the US. Check it out on Netflix.
Has anyone else ever literally dragged their mother-in-law up some stairs and across the hallway? Without a shovel and a bag of lime involved? Such was the start to this past week, by the end of which I also had the pleasure of lifting up, from a prone position on the floor, two different old women, each of whom weighed as much as an NFL linebacker. If any of you are grossly overweight and sedentary, without any consideration for your own well being, please at least consider those of us who will have to move your fat ass around because you are incapable.
So where they passed out drunk or just so massive Jerry Springer spends an entire episode in the all about moving your family members out of their bedroom with a forklift?
My mom knew an individual like this. Knew the woman for years. She was not in good shape. As she got older she got even bigger. And smellier, particularly in summer. Her doctor started prescribing her an excessive amount of pain killers for her arthritis. My mom goes over to her house and finds the woman completely naked, collapsed on the floor, covered in shit. Shit everywhere. Floor, on her thighs and in her folds. Woman was apparently gacked out on oxy, with her knees shot, for over a day on the floor in front of her chair. She refused to call one of her *5* kids to come help. Cue my 4'11" mother, who has osteoporosis, trying to lift this 300 pound, shit and piss caked naked pill popper. Mom called me and I yelled at her for not calling the fire department immediately. Fuck that noise; they had her at the hospital 15 minutes later. That old bitch was mean as a snake too.
I knew a lady whose husband had Parkinson's. They were trying to sell their house and he fell down naked one morning. She was a tiny lady and he was well over six foot. They had people coming to look at the house, so she just covered him with a blanket.
The EPL is the top soccer league in the world, top to bottom. There are better teams in Spain, Germany, etc.. but as a whole, its the top league. Club teams are also going to be better than national teams, by and large, except for the few countries like Spain and Germany who's starting 11 are all superstars. So the talent is often better than most of the teams at the World Cup. Also, English soccer is traditionally much more physical, rough and tumble, and aggressive. Diving is frowned upon and has been further scrutinized by the governing body of English soccer. It still happens, but far less than La Liga or Serie A. I think the best thing the EPL has going for it, from a competition standpoint, is relegation. There are 20 teams, but only 5-6 are truly in the hunt for the title. HOWEVER, due to how tight the league table usually is, anyone in the bottom 10 is at risk to finish in the bottom 3 and be relegated down to the Championship, the second tier. So there is no value to tanking, like in the NFL or NBA, cause it represents a MASSIVE loss in revenue. So the last few weeks have frantic battles between lower level clubs trying to stay up, and alot of time they are even more entertaining than the battles on top. Clubs entire profiles and futures have changed based on the TV money that comes with Promotion. Swansea and Southampton for example. Its awesome. NBC has done a brilliant job with the production of it all as well.
Why yes , I have. It's almost an everyday occurrence for me. And half of the time they tend to not have much regard for the poor slobs attempting to help them become as functionally independent as possible.
The first was the result of knee replacement surgery, which led to a chain of fuck-upedness- the MIL not bothering to lose any weight or in any way prepare herself for this ordeal, the hospital releasing the MIL too soon, the MIL insisting that she go home instead of to a rehab facility, the doctor refusing a subsequent recommendation by the rehab nurse that the MIL go to a rehab facility because "She's already home so she can't go to rehab now", the complete failure of the doctor, surgeon, hospital or nursing care to provide information on what was needed around the home or how the MIL and us should prepare for a home recuperation . . . . Everybody dropped the ball on this one. No pun intended. Which led to a scene where the MIL and I tried desperately to get her in the house and up some stairs, and in the end I had to drag her by her arms up the last few steps and across the hallway, then execute a series of lifts to get her into a chair. It was a fucking nightmare for all involved. The Mrsanthropic then had to live with my MIL for a week, through Thanksgiving, to help her out. The second resulted from my crazy mother - perhaps the most sedentary person I've ever met, for no reason other than sheer laziness - attempting do something as complex as walking or standing, and falling down in the foyer of my home.
I just had the pleasure of directing paramedics to a co-workers office where he was having a "medical emergency". Apparently I am one of the horsemen of the Apocolypse.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I'm sorry! As of right now, that makes sense to about four people. I would just like to point out I was being a smartass and my usual sarcastic self. The usual.
Re: Inside jokes are the BEST! I Know right? I might prefer if that was what actually happened. You ever hit send on something and then like oohhhh shiittttt? Sigh. Yeah.
Was it snap chat, a text or an email? At least with snap chat they only have ten seconds to oggle you.
PMs here. Go big or go home I say! The only reason I said anything is because I started getting PMs asking huh?