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2015 Holiday WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Dec 11, 2015.

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  1. iczorro

    iczorro
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    General rule of thumb is to make it easy for the person who has to read the resumes. Cover letter and two page resume. Cover letter gives an easy paragraph summary of what you are/do. First page gives the meat of your qualifications and experience. Second page lists specials skills, references, and details your training/certificates. Anything longer than that, they're not reading it. Anything shorter, you look unqualified.

    I have consistently trimmed my resume as things get added on over the years to keep it to the C+2 rule. If they want more, I still have it available.
     
  2. Clutch

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    I think that the short-term hired gun thing was at the heart of the job he was pitching, but it was at the lower end where I would mostly be competing with H1-Bs with exaggerated skill sets. Consulting works when you have a specific skill set that is rare and valuable. Consulting sucks when a company decides that they need an employee who can come in and instantly contribute without any training to their 5 years out of date Ruby on Rails application while also not making any commitment to that employee beyond 4 months.

    My resume fills one page and stops. It shows my work history without gaps, but it only includes the last few jobs. I will compress things if I think it is worth squeezing an older job with relevant experience. My research work from college comes and goes as necessary. I have a small section listing technologies I am familiar with that changes depending on who I send it to. I removed the line "References available upon request" a while ago because everyone knows that already. I feel like this is the best for most situations that don't involve an HR drone searching for specific keywords, and I think that the sort of place where that happens isn't a place I want to work anyway.

    One place I applied to recently had an optional section that asked me to upload a picture. I can't imagine that would serve any purpose beyond profiling.
     
  3. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    A resume will get your foot in the door. The point of the resume is to get you the interview. The interview gets you hired. It's a matter of signal : noise. You don't want your resume to speak for you or make them think "that's it." You want your resume to make them want to meet you and learn more about you.

    The interviewer, if they're good and a good company, is looking for fit anyway. You just need to show a basic level of proficiency at what they're asking, they'll train you on the specifics of what they want.

    Some of the worst interviews I've had have been with applicants who think their experience and accomplishments speak for them. I don't care. I want to know if they're willing to learn to work our way, not theirs.
     
  4. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Motherfucker, I can computer like a motherfucker fucks his motherfucking mother. Fucker.

    pic.jpg
     
  5. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    So we did a secret Santa gift exchange at work yesterday.

    Someone got a live lobster.
     
  6. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Well, if you hang on to it and leave it in your trunk for a few days until the next party, you've already got your gag gift.
     
  7. Fiveslide

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    I think that's awesome. I'd google lobster recipes, pick one, and get to work.

    My sister-in-law's family have a pig farm. Every Christmas we get ribs, tenderloin and sausage from a pig that was living a couple of days before we take possession of those treats. It's one of the gifts that I get the most excited about every year.
     
  8. Whothehell

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    I work in IT and have had this happen twice. Now I just reference my linkedin profile where I'm wearing a white shirt & tie in my cover letter. I'm told that's also a good way to keep them away from my Facebook which I've gave up on sanitizing years ago as that place is cesspool and I don't like being there. It's also always an uphill battle as I can't control who tags me in photos.
     
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Ladies.

    image.jpg

    image.jpg
     
  10. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Jesus Christ, I was blown over by the combined force of a million women eyerolling simultaneously. Just reading that gave me a vagina. Whenever someone invokes God in matters of dating I feel like the eternal prankster will make a Duggar happen for that person.

    In other news I just got back from my first day at Planet Fitness. There were a shitload of old guys, retirees, just f'n wailin' on it in there. I would have smiled, but they might have cornered me and gave me a Rear Admiral, or a Polish Bikeride.
     
  11. ghettoastronaut

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    Sure, that's bad. But is it as bad as this?

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Whothehell

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  13. katokoch

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  14. Misanthropic

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  15. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    This one's for you, Angel.

    Leonard Cohen gets it. It ain't easy being cheesy.

    image.jpg
     
  16. shimmered

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    Y'all ever try to discuss topics with people who think every conversation is a litigious argument?

    Talk about completely unproductive. I find myself muting them...physically or mentally.
     
  17. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    My day began with someone projectile vomiting all over me. It didn't get much better from there. Today is the anniversary of my favorite person in the world's passing. I want some retail therapy and vodka.

    On the bright side, I don't have full blown AIDS.
     
  18. ghettoastronaut

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    Soon...
     
  19. toytoy88

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    That's kinda hot. Got pics?
     
  20. wexton

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    Yet
     
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