And you just know they spend all day fanticizing about you plowing their fields. Weren't you the one who put up that picture around this time last year of the inside of a place that looked like a hallmark store?
Yep. I put up a picture a couple weeks ago of the whole mess too. I understand having a hobby and all that, but this is ridiculous. When the neighbors are calling the police to complain, you need to re-examine your hobby, not double down and make your display even more obnoxious. Here's outside last year: This year's version is even more festive.
The excitement of our night was when my son runs to me saying "I found a mouse!" holding up a decent sized dead mouse up in the air. Apparently the cat drug a mouse into the house and left it under the Christmas tree, because clearly the cat wanted to be the first to put a present under there. The boy was very confused about the reason we needed to wash his hands, and quickly. If it's not one thing it's another around here.
Be glad you don't have a dog. I had a dog that tried to bring deer hind quarters she found into the house.
Someone is either gonna fuck that up beyond repair, or they're gonna steal it. If that was in my neighborhood, I'd do something to it for sure. Not to cause any permanent damage, but enough to get the message across. Like give all the characters protest-style signs. "Elf Lives Matter" "I'm just here to bang ms Claus" "Hillary ain't gettin shit!" "Dirty Sanchez? I give Dirty Santas!" "My other house is ghetto as shit"
Someone parked their moped in a place where it made it hard to get to my apartment complex elevator. Someone ripped off their brake light, moped is no longer legal dam shame really If no one steals or fucks with anything I'll be shocked
Oh goodness. Have I never mentioned the security cameras? He has security cameras surrounding the property. The cops have also been called out here because his security cameras are pointed directly in the neighbor's yards. It turns out that people don't like that. Go figure.
Sometimes I wonder if you're making shit up or not, then I realize no you're not, its way to detailed to be fake
Ski masks are a stereotype because they work. Loose fitting clothing to disguise your weight. Or just dress up as a creepy clown and wander aimlessly amongst the decorations. Leave behind a few deflated balloons with a note, write in crayon something cryptic like "thanks for the memories" or "it will be better tomorrow." You'll scare the shit outta those guys.
One of the many disadvantages of being 6'7" is a ski mask and loose fitting clothing can't disguise the fact that you're taller the 99.9% of everyone.
I'm not saying YOU do it. There's plenty of homeless guys on the strip. That's one of the many reasons I hate Vegas. Give one of them $20 and a six pack and tell them to come party in your yard, that's it's lit up after dark. Then just let nature take its course. You know, spirit of the holidays and all that crap. You're just spreading cheer.
To much effort. I can just shake my head and go to my room every time the police show up. It's no skin off my nose. The roommates are at war with the neighbors, I'm not. I get along with everyone just fine. In other news, I'm watching Grumpy Old Men. Great movie.
I just found out that Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Paul Rudd own a candy store in a few towns over from where I grew up, so while I'm home for the holidays and all the good boys and girls will be anxiously awaiting Santa delivering their presents, I will be camped out at the store hoping to "accidentally" run into them and have a Christmas Threesome. (A Christmas Threesome where we all get to eat candy afterwards!!) P.S On the subject of celebrities in the general area of my hometown, here's a fun fact about me that I don't think I shared before: Robert DeNiro owns a house roughly five minutes from my dad's house, and I once spent a weekend helping my friend take care of his horses. During that time, I accidentally let a pig out and had to chase him around until I caught him. We never met DeNiro, though.
You own guns. Take them out for a hunting accident. I'm watching The Ref for the billionth time but it never gets old. The movie is all crackling dialogue and never loses steam, it just gets funnier and funnier as it plays.
Nope. I don't own a single gun right now. I live in the city and I don't see a reason to have an arsenal. I do however have quite a few nasty knifes. If anyone has any ideas of how to make someone stab themselves in the throat, I'm all ears.