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2016 April Fools WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Apr 1, 2016.

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  1. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    I swear, any time they want to build something it's just dump it on the smokers. That way they can brag about how it doesn't cost 'real people' anything. Fuckers. That was their latest excuse for the tax hike in Minnesota. Vikings need a new stadium. $9 per pack and counting.
     
  2. wexton

    wexton
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    Pretty sure it just isn't Ontario, but all of Canada.
     
  3. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    It's pretty much the same anywhere I've lived. Want something? Sin tax, fuck those smokers and drinkers.
     
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    In Alberta in 2000, I remember cigarettes being far more expensive than Ontario but booze was cheaper (and more readily available). Don't know how it is now though.
     
  5. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Buy all means, gentlemen and gentleladies, keep smoking. I own stock in Altria Group, who keep making profits while smoking numbers decrease because of you thoughtful, wonderful, filthy addicts. Yes, YES, smoke double! Three at a time! Beautiful money!

    Picture of what I may look like:

    [​IMG]


    I'm more pissed about the booze tax. Good 6 pack will run you $9-10 now. Now *that* is a tragedy.
     
  6. dewercs

    dewercs
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    We offer Marlboro, reds, lights and menthols for $10 a pack, drunk people like them some cigarettes.
     
  7. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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    What beautiful day.

    Won a huge new contract at work, took my wonderful mother to lunch, and had a fantastic time.

    On the way home I stopped at a homeless shelter to volunteer my money, time, and food I had bought at the grocery store.

    I'm giving up drinking tonight, and plan to fall asleep reading my Bible after watching re-runs of last years WNBA playoffs.

    I love you guys.
     
  8. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    We want to make money off your addiction, but you're only allowed to be addicted to what makes us money. You go to prison for those other addictions.
     
  9. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Holy doodoo, that's some expensive cigarettes! I smoked in high school, college and for about 10 years after college. I used to dig around for change to get a pack and was really pissed when it went up to like $2.
     
  10. wexton

    wexton
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    Yea, but you are old as fuck so that is still like 40 years ago.
     
  11. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    When I started smoking in '99, a pack of Marlboro Reds was $1.75 here in Texas, and back then, I thought that was high. My mom smoked all of my life, and I remember her paying like $1.25 or so for a pack.
    I haven't had a cigarette in three weeks though; I'm not trying to quit or anything, I just haven't had any desire to do so.

    EDIT:

    Hey Dewercs, is that legal where you are? I ask because several years ago, one of my favorite bars was doing that, but they got busted by some regulatory agency (I wanna say the ATF, but I'm probably wrong) and they got slapped with a huge fine.
     
    #31 dixiebandit69, Apr 1, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2016
  12. dewercs

    dewercs
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    You are correct it is the ATF that regulates that and the cigs we sell have to have a certain tax stamp on them, we have a license to sell them and they come barging in the door every few years and demand to see our stock of cigs and the needed paperwork. We do not fuck around with that stuff. The ATF guys are very serious about their jobs and their is not a lot of smiling and hand shaking.
     
  13. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    I wish I'd gotten a picture of it, but there used to be a drug store here in Vegas where the owner was also a licensed fire arms dealer. He had a huge sign out front, right on a major street:

    DRUGS
    GUNS
    BOOZE

    Holy shit...I just googled it. Someone took a picture of it and uploaded it:

    DrugsGunsBooze.jpg

    It was taken down about 1990 or so.
     
  14. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    With Waylon, Willie and the boys
    I got roped into going out in the suburbs. Ahfjsjshsbwjxnwh I'm a snob I admit it.
     
  15. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    So today I had to go over to my dad's house and help him plug in his fax machine. This is funny for a number of reasons, one of them being that I've told my dad fax machines are outdated; he's got a scanning Canon printer and he's got email, he shouldn't need a fax machine. But he enjoys having them in his office, so I just go over to help him install it without complaint. It took maybe all of four minutes, but now he has his fax machine again. His last one somehow had its receiver go kaput and so he tossed it away and just had this forlorn fax machine without a phone on his desk for a month. I often wonder how the fuck he exactly broke the thing.

    In other news, there's this collection I now have of little fifty-millimeter bottles of what are called respectively Firefly Vodka With Natural Flavors, along with Mr. Stacks Sour Apple Schnapps Liqueur, Ensign Red Fine Canadian Whisky, Veil Whipped Cream Vodka and Kinky Pink Fruit Fusion Vodka. Can you tell I won these at a party consisting of about 85% women? Admittedly, the first-prize alcohol was Kraken Rum.
     
  16. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    You realize that you probably could've used that booze as leverage to get laid no?

    I mean...who wins booze at a "Party" and takes it home?
     
  17. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    Did I mention I respect married couples and boyfriend-girlfriend relationships?
     
  18. CanisDirus

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    Um, one of the girls from the party just posted this on my Facebook wall... I don't know if this is good or bad. Please advise.

    I drank most of my winnings there.
     
  19. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    If it was 85% female the math doesn't add up, unless you're that desperate guy who hangs around girlfriends and wives.
     
  20. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    I was invited, but there was no hook-up material, so to speak. However, I do like the party's hostess, but she brought her own booze, you can't ply someone with booze they purchased themselves. I don't think that's how plying with alcohol works, but then again, I've never tried it. And hell, there was cash prizes, candy, condoms... just decided to have a good time and thankful to be invited, I guess? And we all had a movie to go to in two hours and I still had to go home, shower and eat and get to Regal before the movie started and arrange a row out for the group.
     
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