Canis, you're a good guy. There's respectful and respectful. One is courteous and doesn't make people feel uncomfortable but is honest with themselves and allows things to go where they may. The other is perhaps insecure, and afraid offending someone so they aren't honest with themselves and miss out on the potential of connecting with someone. To quote a well known movie, " I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!"
Reunited Guns 'N Roses are playing the Troubadour tonight. Should we be taking bets how many hours late they go on, and how many fires rioting fans start? As much as I love Slash (his solo band has been KILLING IT), I cannot imagine anyone taking joy in seeing that bloated, out of tune mess Axl. Unless you got the tickets free and are in need of a good shit show.
That's a good point. I'm kinda interested in the hostess of the party, as I said, but I'm good friends with her brother and don't want to nuke that friendship from orbit with any potential bad-crap, so I'm kinda playing that close to the vest. But I thank you for the welcome advice, todd. [Todd? I don't know.] I also have no clue what movie that is from.
Oh, I also won a Tenga egg as I came in second-place in the egg-hunt, so there's that. Feels weird to own something like that to me. Yes, I was the butt of a lot of "Well now you can more efficiently go and fuck yourself!" and other such zingers. So there's that, as well. Spoiler: What's a Tenga Egg? This. I feel like this story didn't need this addition, but you're welcome if you don't mind the TMI.
Ugh... Filthy Frank. Li'l Bandit showed me some of his videos once, and I flat-out told him that I don't want him watching those anymore. That's the first time I've ever done that. The guy is a fucking loser, and you die a little more inside with every video you watch. With that said, I'm guessing it's that girl's idea of an April Fools Day joke; lots of people have a shitty sense of humor, and don't know how to do it right. I'll be back for more on this subject in a bit.
At least he can be funny and isn't How To Basic. This is the most awful video I've ever seen. It's just so vile and wasteful and vomit-inducing. And those two chucklefucks teamed up for a video. Mercy upon the YouTube, I cry! Mercy!
Speaking of April Fool's Day pranks, I got ya, Dewercs: It's now April 2nd, so I can come clean: You got pranked. I never bought an iPhone! I hate smart-phones in general, but most especially iPhones. I hate all Apple products. They are overpriced and overrated, with all kinds of bullshit proprietary software. I know what you Apple-junkies are going to say: "But Bandit, the iPhone has _________ feature! Nobody else has that!" Yeah, well "_________ feature" is always- ALWAYS- some stupid bullshit that I would never use to begin with. You want to know how I came up with the idea for this prank? I literally had a nightmare a few days ago in which I bought an iPhone. I was originally going to prank y'all by saying that I'd accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and personal savior, but I realized that NOBODY would believe that, and that I'd have better luck posting: "Hey, look down! Your shoes are untied!" Just to let y'all know how serious I am about never buying an iPhone, I've compiled a list of things I'd rather do: - Listen to one of Hillary Clinton's speeches -Jam a red-hot knitting needle down my urethra - Give Caitlyn Jenner a pelvic exam -Sexually assault my parole officer and go back to prison (she IS cute...) -Volunteer my time to the Catholic church -Take the "Milk Challenge" -Snake a toilet with my bare hands -Pay to see a "One Direction" concert -Diagnose a car and amass all of the necessary parts, only to have the owner back out of the repair at the last minute - Re-roof a house in the middle of summer - Trade in my Trans Am for a Prius - Pick cotton (again) - Donate money to the Texas State Trooper's Association
As someone who freelances in a sex shop, I highly suggest everyone go get a Tenga egg. I could not stop fucking those things with my fingers. More dudes should own sex toys. It's silly that it's hot for girls to have a drawer full of vibrators but creepy for a guy to have something of his own.* *Unless that thing is a sex doll. Those things are fucking terrifying.
Like, sex dolls, you hide those. Nobody should ever know. It's a gag gift to roast someone on. But weeaboos put money out to have a seven-meter snake-girl pillow and proudly boast of them to their online friends. What a time to be alive. Kinda like those people who marry those cyborgy-sex dolls, whatever the fuck they're called. There was some weird TLC show on it, and I could only toughen out watching that display of maladaptive adult male behavior for like ten minutes.
Well, today was a bit of a crazy day. Went in to work early to try and get some shit done, and things didn't really work out that way... I was in one of our offices talking to our Sales Director when we heard a loud "thump" of a car accident. You know how when you hear a crash you immediately think, "meh, just screaching tires", or "just a minor bump"? Well, this was a, "holy shit someone just got really fucked up". We go over to the wall of windows on the third floor and look down and see a cop SUV t-boned and the side smashed in, and a guy walking around the front of the cop car getting to the passenger side window, and reaching in to the car and yelling at the cop. At this point, we're all thinking, "cop pulled out in front of this dude, dude hit him, dude is rightfully pissed at the cop, and is giving him an earful for fucking up his car". Then the guy goes around the back of the cop car and gets to the driver's side window... the cop is trapped in the car because of the impact damage... can't open the door, and is a bit dazed and can't get out of the seat belt and get out through the window. Now the dude outside the cop car, who's a big construction worker looking guy, starts yelling at the cop, and starts reaching in through the driver's side window at the cop, yelling, wrestling, trying to throw punches, and now has more than his shoulders inside the cop car. We see the cop pull his gun while seated in the driver's seat, and lean back into the passenger side, and 3 of us in our office all said, "holy fuck, that guy's going to get shot". And we would not have been the least bit surprised, and all thought it would have been justified. But nope, the cop keeps his cool, doesn't shoot, but still struggles with the guy. At this point 2 construction workers come running over and pull the guy out of the cop's window, throw him to the ground, and start to choke him out. He starts yelling, "just fucking shoot me, shoot me", and 5-10 more construction workers come running over to help out (5 storey parking garage is being built not 30 yards from where this went down), and the cop finally gets out of his car by crawling out of the window of his SUV. At this point, other cops start showing up on scene (the local RCMP/cop shop is literally right around the corner), and the dude gets handcuffed. Turns out the cop was a young, new guy, and was freaked the fuck out... understandably. I go down and gave a statement to the cops about what we saw, and one of my co-workers got the last part of it on video, so she gave a statement and emailed the video to the cops. While I was down giving the statement I found out that the dude basically carjacked the car a couple blocks away, went full-on Grand Theft Auto on the sidewalks for a couple of blocks, then hid (in the car) in the parking lot across the street to try and stay low for a bit. The 2 original workers that eventually helped the cop initially flagged him down and were pointing out where the guy had parked, and upon being detected, the perp spun around and floored it trying to get away, and the cop pulled out in front of him to stop him, which was the initial crash that we heard. It also happened in front of a big local law firm, so a few of the lawyers that were coming to work were witnesses as well, and one of them looked at the guy handcuffed and proned out on the ground and said, "yeah, that tox report is coming back with ALL the boxes checked". Yeah... dude was tripping some serious balls. http://www.castanet.net/news/Kelowna/162126/Grand-Theft-Auto-on-Ellis Fucking crazy.
No drugs, but there is a place in Uvalde, Texas that sells guns and booze. What could possibly go wrong?