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2016 April Fools WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Apr 1, 2016.

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  1. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Lego or a nerf gun. We've got these things for my nephew's fifth birthday coming up in a few months. He's going to go bonkers.

    Alternatively, get him a rocket kit.

    Or an air rifle. However you roll.
     
  2. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    NERF guns?
     
  3. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Bag O' Glass.
     
  4. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    Get him one of those copper BB guns so he shoot birds and whatnot. He'll be happy.

    It's much cooler than those fag nerf guns. You don't want to be the faggy aunt do you?
     
  5. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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  6. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    If you want to be an asshole you could give him a drum set. My in-laws gave my 3 year old nephew one for Christmas. All I thought was, "If they give our future kids one of those it's being set out on the curb."
     
  7. katokoch

    katokoch
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    He's old enough for his first hammer. That'll keep him entertained.
     
  8. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    [​IMG]
     
  9. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    I can honestly say, if they even still exist, Bionicle Legos were pretty cool. Maybe see if you can find those. Also, finally got my gas furnace in place, now just to put in the exhaust and hook it up and I'm going to be toasty this winter without blowing up my electrical bills.

    There's some cat in this neighborhood, a long-haired torbie, who keeps trying to move in on our house and take up residence, as some cats suddenly decide to do in their cat-brains. My own cat refuses to share, and they make war on my yard and car port. I just think it is funny, they're mostly just pouncing at each other, shrieking and growling and then the challenging cat runs off while my cat acts tough and walks boldly away while glancing where the other cat ran off to. I guess I'll just let them figure it out.

     
  10. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Lego sets ($10 or less) are the ultimate easy gift for boys >10. I've never heard a single complaint.
    Also, there are Hotwheels (TM) cars.

    But I recommend Legos because you can make practically anything out of them. It's like a gift that keeps on giving.

    Take it from me: since I had Li'l Bandit, I've had to go to a lot of kids' birthday parties; sometimes kids I didn't even know, because my ex-wife's family is so huge.

    EDIT:
    ^ This. I'm almost 100% sure that Bionicle Legos (they're supposed to be robotic creatures) are still in production.
    I've given those many times, and Li'l Bandit had a bunch of them. Each character (they have names and backgrounds) comes in it's own zip-lock pack for about $10.
    Man, I wish they had those when I was a kid.
     
    #90 dixiebandit69, Apr 3, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2016
  11. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Let's begin, I saw someone get fucking shot. I have done damn near everything I could possibly do in a single evening. I'm still jazzed out of my mind on redbulls and adrenaline. Tonight has been so fucking weird.

    Went to an art show. Walked in for free. Some meaty breasted hipster bitched at us for not paying the entry fee when no one was even at the door to take it. We were compelled to leave without paying. The toilet in this place was literally in the middle of the gallery. I'm not certain our friend didn't take a giant shit inside some modern art instillation that only *looked* like a toilet.

    Downtown. Had a smoked old fashioned. Very classy. Highlight of the evening.

    Go to a different downtown, city where we live. We're having a round of beers outside when we hear *POP* like a firecracker. Across the street, not more than 30 feet from me, this cat starts screaming he's been shot. There is a cop rousting some drunks not more than 2 steps from me, nobody saw shit. He goes over to the guy, who obviously has blood all over his leg, and yup, he done got popped. Cops start to swarm.

    To cheer everyone up we went to the strip club. A dozen raccoons are hanging out in the parking lot of the strip club. Chillin' and straight up fuckin'. Not a euphemism. Literally a dozen raccoons living in a strip club's parking lot bushes. Just hanging out on a Saturday. That was far more interesting than the trainwrecks working the poles inside. Kind of sad, because that's the best they had for talent on a Saturday.

    Go to the after hours bar. On the way, see crackheads, hookers all over the streets. Dude sleeping on a picnic table in the park. There is a variety of degenerates in the bar. At least 2 coke dealers. One guy claimed the handicap stall and was selling out of it all night. Like he set up office in there. He even had a secretary in front of the stall door looking out for him.

    I think it is time to move. As amusing as it is, I am slightly unnerved. This shit is not only trashy, but dangerous now.
     
  12. CanisDirus

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    It is all amusing until it happens to you or a friend.
     
  13. downndirty

    downndirty
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    Right?

    Strip club on a Saturday night with sub-par talent....(shudders).

    CJ, what part of Detroit are you in?
     
  14. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Uh, it's Detroit. Not sure dicing it up into parts is going to make it any better.
     
  15. Yukon Cornelius

    Yukon Cornelius
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    Experienced Idiot

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    There's your problem right there CJ. If you wanted to see talent, you should have head over to the world famous Windsor Ballet.
     
  16. xrayvision

    xrayvision
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    That shit sounds like east lake worth.
     
  17. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    And if you like the parents and forever want them to appreciate you, include at least 1 Lego Separator tool with the kit...



    Totally eliminates the "Daaaad, can you get these apart?" issues and the broken fingernails that go with them.
     
  18. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Did I just shit myself?

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    Also a pair of soled slippers to help avoid stepping on the fucking things.
     
  19. toddamus

    toddamus
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    I remember there was a bit of a movement to revitalize and gentrify Detroit. I wonder how many of those adventurous hipsters are still alive or if they've all fled by now.

    Yukon is right, Windsor does have some extraordinary professional dancers
     
  20. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    If it were up to us, we would have gotten Legos. My sister goes crazy when there are toys with a lot of pieces around....eventually it ends up curbside. To lengthen the expiration date, we went another route. No nerf guns because he has one already.

    I think this is what we got him: http://www.toysrus.com/product/inde...2.67715136.2255958.11553351&parentPage=family . It was definitely more money than I wanted to spend but I knew he'd love it, and since I couldn't deliver on my idea I let el husband pick it out. Later on last night my sister sent me a picture of my nephew playing with it in the tub. Holy shit, he looked so excited. It was almost as big as he was. I almost typed "I love kids!" until I realized that I really just love this kid.
     
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