I've been asked to play a wedding in July for a friend of my husband. The bride is an absolute moron and drives me nuts every time I meet her. My husband was originally asked to be a groomsman and then the groom called around and cancelled because his wife said he only was allowed to have his brothers and her brother stand at the altar with him - his friends weren't allowed to be up there. Anyway, I contacted her this morning to see what songs she wanted. "Here comes bride" was what I got as a response. So I asked what other songs she wanted, what kind of church it was (i.e. can I play secular music), how long the aisle was and the size of the bridal party (so I'd know what length of song to play as they come up the aisle). Here are the answers I got: "Pretty ones." "Epiphany" (epiphany is not a kind of church). "Long" and "14-18". As in, the girls range in dress size from 14-18. I can't even.
I'm dying over here. Poor Angel. All of the headache for a marriage that will last less than a year because the Bride is dumber than a box of hair. Wow. The "14-18" is what really did it. Why in the fuck would she think that's what you meant by size? Amazing level of stupidity.
The fucking saga continues. "I'll play a processional, your bridal march, signing of the register and recessional. Do you have any hymns for the service?" "What's a hymn?" "Hymns being any religious songs that the congregation would sing during the service. Usually aren't done at weddings but sometimes people request them." "What's the traditional grand exit called? On piano." "The recessional? When everyone leaves?" "Whenever really." WHAT THE FUCK.
Turn signals, horns, brake, accelerator - all standardized. Why don't all US cars have the gas tank flap on the driver's side? They're not even consistent through the same makes.
Angel, it sounds like you may have accidentally ended up in an episode of a bad sitcom. One from a later season in the run where the writers gave up years ago and even the fans stopped caring.
Like I said in my rep, back out. Lie if you need to. This is going to be a brain exploding disaster. Or, you could just play the theme of death I guess. And, how in the fuck does a grown up person not know WTF a hymn is? I'd burst into flames entering a church but even I know.
Is she a demon in the sack or something? Presumably your husband has good friends. Why is one of them marrying this idiot?
He knocked her up. Their kid is 2. She looks like a brick. She has managed to get the groom to ask all his friends to do something for the wedding. One buddy has been asked to MC. One has been asked to do photography. One has been asked to cater. Cater. His wedding. Of 150 people. To the best of my knowledge, the bride and groom will pay the cost of food and this poor fucker has to cook everything and find some motley crew of homeless people to serve it. Oh, they also couldn't afford the fees for the church so the groom is helping renovate the church basement in order to pay for the minister.
Id imagine cause those are all necessary components to actually driving the vehicle properly and safely. Gas tanks are up there with seat adjusters, door handles, truck lids, battery placements, etc... I always have just assumed US/Japanese brands had it on the driver's side and european have it on the passenger. Nothing like having a bunch of rednecks glare at me in rural Midwest gas stations when I go to a gas pump "backwards".
I refuse to accept your common sense and explanation, because that does not allow me to hate all the car manufacturers who refuse to get together on this. I mean, some GM's are on the left and some on the right. I would understand if all US were one side, all German, all Japanese, etc. but my Chevy truck is driver's side, but Chevy Equinox is passenger side. But, why not all driver's side for all cars? Everything is made for convenience, speed and fast pace today - isn't it faster for the driver to just get out and start pumping right there? (But, what about the gas? Heyooooo) I have been in a bunch of different rental cars over the past several weeks. Between the side swapping, the fuel filler door release levers hidden in the knee space that can't be seen, and the flap doors that have no release because they are push in/pop out, it's driving me crazy. Plus, I always forget to look at the little "which side" triangle until after I've turned the engine off.
See, I'd gladly accept that and just do whatever the fuck I wanted. It would be fucking hilarious, and memorable. This is why you have BBQ corn roasts.
Why don't they go to the courthouse and call it a day? I'm so stoked! Philly Aunt is here for Springsteen! Tomorrow is gonna be rough