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2017 Holiday Drunk Thread NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 1, 2017.

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  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Wind is my killer. I got sandblasted the entire drive. It gave the snow that low, fast-moving cloud effect that makes the road vanish under it. Scary stuff.

    Off topic: Imagine seeing colour properly for the first time in over six decades:

     
    #221 Crown Royal, Dec 12, 2017
  2. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Every Hanukkah, when I grate the potatoes for latkes, I wonder how in the entire history of sex anyone has ever given a handjob to completion.
     
    #222 audreymonroe, Dec 12, 2017
  3. Puffman

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    Pfft, when I was your age Aubrey, it would have been job completed as soon as you removed your bra.
     
    #223 Puffman, Dec 12, 2017
  4. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    Handjobs are only for guys too fucking lazy to whack off.

    Who fucking likes hand jobs?
     
    #224 Nettdata, Dec 12, 2017
  5. Kubla Kahn

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    I don't dislike any type of touching of my penis by the opposite sex.
     
    #225 Kubla Kahn, Dec 12, 2017
  6. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    So, there I was reading a decidedly unfunny story about a bar manager who got a pretty nasty beat down from a couple of asshole patrons who he'd asked to leave. Then I came across this line:


    "I have a man bun, he smacked my man bun," victim Jade Cardwell said".

    And I lost it.
     
    #226 toytoy88, Dec 12, 2017
  7. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I only remove my bra for people who get my fake name right.
     
    #227 audreymonroe, Dec 12, 2017
  8. Puffman

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    Crap. My apologies Audrey, now you know why in my 20s the only handjobs I received were my own.
     
    #228 Puffman, Dec 12, 2017
  9. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Good to know, audreymonroe.
     
    #229 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 12, 2017
  10. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I googled Jewish boobs in honor of the holiday:

    [​IMG]
     
    #230 audreymonroe, Dec 13, 2017
  11. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    One of the things I enjoy about TiB is gaining knowledge by getting to hear opinions or tastes from people with different views than my own. (I mean, sometimes it's just gross: chunky peanut butter, really? I'm looking at you currer bell.) So, thank you for enlightening me. I never knew how different Jewish boobs were from non-Jewish boobs!
     
    #231 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 13, 2017
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Sixteen-year-olds at the drive-in.

    There is no handjob that can be outmatched by the source. Sophmore year has long past. If you’re hard and she’s wet, gut that fish.
     
    #232 Crown Royal, Dec 13, 2017
  13. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    16 year olds at the drive-in and guys that get their rocks off at strip clubs. You know the type. Middle-aged, out of shape white guys on a first name basis with a few of the dancers. He comes in alone and in his business attire or some stupid joke shirt. He thinks he's on the "in" because makes small talk with them when they are working the stage or references little inside jokes or prior conversations so everyone knows that hes a regular. Hes also the type that would get weird and possessive about the girls when other guys slightly step out of line or dont tip well. He orders a cheap drink or two and always over tips. He thinks hes hot shit with the girls, but really they take him for every penny his has on the 15th and the 30th.
     
    #233 Juice, Dec 13, 2017
  14. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    We called those guys “chippies” when I worked the door at such an establishment. Guys who think they are dating these girls when really they’re a part-time ATM.
     
    #234 Crown Royal, Dec 13, 2017
  15. jdoogie

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    Couldn't you have just tilted your head downwards slightly if you wanted to see jewish boobs?
     
    #235 jdoogie, Dec 13, 2017
  16. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Sure, but I wanted to share and the only time where my bare boobs have been publicly available on the internet it was an accident.
     
    #236 audreymonroe, Dec 13, 2017
  17. Rush-O-Matic

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    But, now that you've provided a sample, how will know if you really have Jewish boobs?
     
    #237 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 13, 2017
  18. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    You can see enough of them elsewhere to tell.
     
    #238 audreymonroe, Dec 13, 2017
  19. Aetius

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    They're called goy-globes.
     
    #239 Aetius, Dec 13, 2017
  20. jdoogie

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    I mean, there's an easy way to resolve that so that it's no longer an accident.
     
    #240 jdoogie, Dec 13, 2017
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