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2017 Holiday Drunk Thread NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 1, 2017.

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  1. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    I just laughed hard cider out my nose.



    2:03 for the best part.
     
  2. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    I feel your pain. When I worked for UPS I had a woman call on Christmas Eve and start screeching at me that I personally had ruined her wedding. It seems the dumb bitch ordered her wedding dress on December 23 for her wedding the next day. I kept explaining to her that I had absolutely nothing to do with packages and that I was internal IT, but she didn't care...she alternated screaming at me and crying for a good half hour. By the end of the call I was glad her wedding was ruined.
     
  3. shimmered

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    I need to do better about posting when I'm lurking on my phone and reading latest posts. I miss you guys.

    2017 can suck a nasty goat dick.

    We got to Texas Tuesday and went to see mom Thursday. She's feeling kinda icky still but...overall...okay. She laughed when I told her I was going to buy her a "Killer titties" shirt but I'm pretty sure she was high on pain killers.

    Now I'm holed up in my MIL's house. Yay for me I brought several of my pens from WA so I'm going to sit in my husband's old bedroom and get high as fuck and go to bed.
     
  4. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    If you want a fun little experiment to kick off New Year’s in a week, try this:

    Play “In The Air Tonight” by starting the song at exactly 11:56:40 pm your time. If you hit play correctly, that famous Phil Collins drum fill will happen exactly at midnight of the New Year.
     
  5. NatCH

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    I’m apprehensive. Does the fill START at midnight, or does the downbeat of the next measure hit right at midnight? It could really fuck up a music nerd’s entire year.
     
  6. Crown Royal

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    According to Phil Collins himself, the start of the fill signals midnight.
     
  7. Rush-O-Matic

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    You know NYE is not tonight. You have like a week to try it out and practice. You can even do it at noon on Tuesday to test it.
     
  8. NatCH

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    Pffft.

    That would kill the surprise then, wouldn’t it?

    Besides, something like that is the work of sober people on NYE.
     
  9. Puffman

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    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays you idiots.
     
  10. Nettdata

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    Ditto and right back at ya.
     
  11. toytoy88

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    I duuno, I've known a lot of stoners who would think this is the greatest idea ever.

    "Whoa dude! It's like Phil's drum solo triggered the new year! Think about that! It's like he channeled time through his drum sticks!"

    It's kind of like the high school thing of fucking at 11:59 on NYE and if you hold off long enough before blowing your load you can say you've had sex in two different years.
     
  12. Misanthropic

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    [QUOTE="toytoy88, post: 601413, member: 733]

    It's kind of like the high school thing of fucking at 11:59 on NYE and if you hold off long enough before blowing your load you can say you've had sex in two different years.[/QUOTE]

    Man, I went to the wrong high school.

    Four hours with my mother and sister was almost more than I could take. Luckily my bar was open and I ducked in for a quick one on the way home. One of the other regulars was there, and had been there for awhile. She was about to drive home, and definitely should not have, so I got in my good Christmas deed and drove her to her house.

    Merry Christmas idiots
     
  13. Crown Royal

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    That’s how stoners think in your parts? Up here we mostly tried to figure out what the fuck the lead singer of Molly Hatchet was saying.
     
  14. toytoy88

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    I have a friend from Romania and she sent me links to a few Romanian Christmas carols. I kind of liked this one:

    (Here's her description of it: "Saying a story of carolers going from house to house and asking for the traditional braided round bread baked at Christmas, and the whole list of reasons of why their mother could not bake the bread in time"



    Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Joyous Kwanzaa/Whatever y'all
     
  15. toytoy88

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    If I was Santa

     
  16. toytoy88

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    I saw them in concert in Anchorage when they were big. It was in a high school gym. The SOB singing yelled at the sound guy "Turn it up!"

    Motherfucker. I couldn't make anything out that they were playing already and that fat son of a bitch wanted it louder? My ears were ringing for days and I still have no idea what songs they played.
     
  17. NatCH

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    Work related: this year has sucked. The competition opened a store next to us (you know, the music store everybody says they hate, but they still go to, while telling me “I go there just to buy little stuff, but I come here when I wanna LOOK at the big stuff” as if we get paid when they look - BUT ANYWAY). So sales have been down while we get used to the new dynamic.
    But even though today was a slow Christmas Eve Sunday, there were a few things that got me in the spirit. I made a crazy deal on a guitar/amp pack for a guy that only had so much in his bank account, and made sure he had a few bucks left over. And one of the guys on the crew and I let a couple come in after we were closed to pick up a keyboard and a guitar. Gives me the warm and fuzzies sometimes to help people out.

    But now bourbon is giving me the warm and fuzzies, and that’s also a great feeling. Merry Christmas, fuckers!
     
  18. dixiebandit69

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    Merry Christmas, idiots.

    I find myself in an odd situation right now; Jungle Julia wanted to do acid on Christmas Eve, and right after we took the hits, she knocked out while we were watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

    She didn't even last five minutes. I wonder what kind of dreams she's going to have.

    Anyway, like I said, Merry Christmas (I'm an atheist):
    X-mas2 - cs-randall2.jpg
     
  19. Crown Royal

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    Little one just finished opening gifts. I already regret buying a Fingerling those things are obnoxious as fuck. However we buy the bullet and got her Taylor Swift tickets as her “big gift” and she’s been naturally high from it since. Of course she STILL has to get spoiled by both sets of grandparents today too, since she’s their one and only grandkid on both sides.

    Happy Human Holiday, everyone.

    19536CAE-053C-4B22-9344-8235316034A0.jpeg
     
    #379 Crown Royal, Dec 25, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2017
  20. Kubla Kahn

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    I was blessed this Christmas with an apparent sinus infection. Trying to keep it blown out with pseudoephedrine and a host of other decongestants. LAME.
     
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