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2017 Holiday Drunk Thread NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 1, 2017.

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  1. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    Fascinating.

    An 80's party and when you're rich you can have the Scorpions play for your birthday.

     
  2. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    So I’m home for the holidays and I was at my friends house this evening after we all spent time with our families. We decided to go out and we were planning on going to one bar but we decided to “do a slow drive by” another bar that is known for being where everyone from high school hangs out to see if we could spy anyone we’d actually want to hang out with in there. 3/4 of us understood that to mean simply slowing down a bit as we pass to try and see inside. But the driver took that to mean actually we’re going to slow ALL the way down, turn the lil Wayne WAY up, and roll down ALL the windows. There was a bunch of people outside and they were of course looking at us very strangely and I got embarrassed so I pulled my scarf up over my face up to my eyes and when they saw me do that people started DUCKING and definitely thought an ACTUAL DRIVE BY was about to happen. So I started yelling GO GO GO GO and we sped off. I’m back home and I keep waiting for the cops to show up even though that makes zero sense. I certainly wasn’t expecting to spend some of my Christmas striking fear into the hearts of the innocent.
     
  3. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Holy shit. Tell me this isn't beautiful. Her name is Lauren Lace from some commie bloc country.

     
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    If that’s Keith Olsen’s party there’s a good chance they’re doing that pro-bono. He’s an amazing producer.

    Rich people hire celebs for weddings constantly, they all have their price. I remember seeing a wedding on TV for some Richie-rich who has hired Robin Williams as his wedding MC and Rod Stewart was the reception music. Not because they’re friends, because he probably threw a million each at them. Hard life.
     
  5. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    I remember the butt hurt when rush limbaugh had Elton john play his wedding a few years back. I think he paid him like 4 million to do it.
     
  6. joule_thief

    joule_thief
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  7. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Tee-hee
     
  8. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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  9. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    You can always make it REALLY fancy by serving cold hot dog water in champagne flutes.
     
  10. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    According to my father, they were so poor growing up, they only got one hotdog a week for the whole family so they cooked the kd with it all week to flavour the water and then actually ate it as Sunday dinner. I suspect he's pulling my leg.
     
  11. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I’m a boring bitch. My favourite gift of this year was this awesome Breville toaster my parents bought us. Boring, but it’s an awesome toaster. I recommend you all get one. If you like toast.
     
  12. Frebis

    Frebis
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    You think you are boring? My family decided not to do gifts for anyone other than the kids. My wife and I agreed to get one cheap thing for each other. I got an Echo.

    I’m so happy to yell “Alexa, play Slayer” and then teaching my one year old how to head bang.

    I’m really lame too.
     
  13. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Wife and I usually don’t exchange gifts either. We don’t see much point giving each other things we’d both need, so we just concentrate it into the kid. We get gifts from my folks, who are over-generous and only ever buy practical things we can use in everyday life. Nothing decorative or keepsake-y.
     
  14. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Yeah my mom just gifted me money. I got a 35mm digital film scanner and a head unit for my car.
     
  15. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Money is the best gift, it gets no complaints. Does it???
     
  16. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Kind of non personable. No real Christmas joy in the childhood sense. 9 times out of 10 you just pay off bills. Yay.
     
  17. Frebis

    Frebis
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    I’m not a fan of cash, because I just put it toward my debts. I’d rather do something fun instead of paying off my mortgage a few months early.
     
  18. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    I got a few hundred bucks in gift certificates for Lee Valley.

    I'm tickled pink.
     
  19. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    The new table was a huge hit and I successfully hosted both Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner for 10 people. Now that I have a quiet house, I'm sitting here eating all the good leftovers, drinking all the good beer/booze people left here (Sip of Sunshine right now, followed by some four roses single barrel later), and later on I'm going to have sex with my wonderful wife. I also don't work again until the 3rd.

    Things are good. Hope you all are doing well, too.
     
  20. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Now you can get one of those nickel-plated splitting mauls like “The Cousins” carry on Breaking Bad.

    Nice stuff at that store. Too nice to ever use.
     
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