All very good ideas and ROTN that's probably going to be my response when it happens again (because I know it will eventually). I'm just SO goddamn skeeved out. And uncomfortable. And grossed out. Ugh.
That's probably part of the rush the guy got out of it... knowing that you were "under his spell" and unable to do anything about it. That's why confronting him and laughing is a good response... it's the exact opposite reaction he wants/needs.
Just continue cutting his hair and completely casually cut off the top of his ear. Simple. A mistake anyone could make, certainly nobody's fault.
So, cheers to having an upper respiratory infection turn into walking pneumonia. After spending the month of fucking February sick I finally caved and got checked out. By checked out I mean I landed in the ER. So I am now armed with antibiotics and an inhaler with antibiotics. Are we having fun yet?!
Generally people who do this kinda thing have this plan of how it's going to work in their head. What you're gonna do, what they're gonna do. You're playing a role in their sexual fantasy they're living out. Soon as you break that role in any way -- be it confronting them by pointing it out, or simply asking them what they are doing -- you have changed the dynamics and put you into having control of the situation and where it goes instead of them. And they didn't plan for this. They literally won't know what to do. You're no longer playing the role they had in their head so they're going fight or flight. Except the people who sneak stuff like this, they're passive. They wouldn't fight if you made them. They'll get the hell outta there and never come back. If they were the type person to fight, they'd have just raped you. They'd want the control.
Come on. I mean, I want to see all the titties, but I've never done THAT kind of thing. Guys that try to secretly take upskirt photos, and all that nonsense - nope. AND I'M NOT 60!
this is my favorite solution. Interesting. I haaaaate even having to contemplate this because goddammit man I just want to do my job
You guys know we don't pee and bleed out of the same hole, right? Not unless something is awfully wrong...
There are plenty of guys where this is exactly what they want. They might want to show off, they might want to intimidate you, they might want to get a rise out of you, they might want you to start humiliating them. There's no way of knowing what they want out of it so there's no way to know which way's the best way to react. You don't want to play right into exactly what they want because you don't want them to "win." But you also don't want to risk choosing the reaction he really wouldn't want either because - I'm not sure if you've interacted with men before, but - most often the way guys handle being embarrassed, rejected, or not getting what they want - especially from a woman - is rage. Best case scenario if that happens is it all blows up in a humiliating scene where you're getting screamed at and everyone around you is aware you've just been sexually harassed. Other options include getting physically assaulted (the whole idea of the only outlet for a guy's anger and confrontation against a woman would be to "just rape you" is ...outrageously absurd), being followed home, being stalked at where it all went down if it's a place you're likely to be regularly like work or a train station, and it's not that uncommon for these kinds of things to actually end in rape or murder. Sure, you could call the police, but he's probably going to get away before they get there and he'd either be pissed off and the risk for all that other stuff would increase, and/or he'd never be caught because police don't give a shit about these things unless it's in front of children or if they're doing it all time (which would require multiple women reporting it, which they probably won't, because they know the police don't give a shit). Plus, there's the very high likelihood that if you do try and do something about it, either by involving the people around you or the police, all you'll be met with is being told one way or the other that you should probably just brush it off and not make such a big deal out of it and stop overreacting because it's "just" someone jacking off in front of you or from you being transactionally required to touch them or interact with them because everyone's go-to is to diminish any kind of sexual assault because there's always a worse kind of sexual assault so how bad could this experience have really been when you think about what it could've been instead. So usually the only real option is to just clam up and endure it and try to shrug it off instead of focusing on how you were totally trapped and you just "let" him get away with it and he's probably going to go and do that to other women now but what else were you supposed to do because all of the other options were bad. And they kind of know that there are no good options for you - or they definitely know and that's specifically why they're doing it - so that's why they're so bold about it because in all likelihood they're going to have zero consequences for it because everything about the entire situation is the freaking worst. But I guess we could all just joke around about it for two pages before someone calls the guy out for being a sex offender.
And this is why women will never rule the world. The mental gymnastics you just took at avoiding the solution to a problem is mind boggling. Call the police, stall the guy in the shop, press charges. If these simple steps were followed in 99% of cases of crimes against women, maybe there would be some headway into stopping the behavior. Instead, here we have a 1000 word response of how to avoid dealing with a crime because it's easier to ignore trying to fix a problem that exists, but making sure you can be indignant by shaming everyone who won't try to fix the problem. I understand you've had more than your fair share of harassment from men, and I'm sure that's jaded you, but just sitting around making lame excuses for why things won't ever change is one of the ways to make sure things will never change.
Dismissing an explanation as to why "just stopping it and calling the police" is most often not the easiest, best, or most realistic option for a situation like this is particularly rich coming from someone with your posting history. Anyway, here are kittens:
Straight haired Audrey is not someone with whom you ought trifle! Wait until she is whimsical, curly hair Audrey before you cross her. The change is happening - the kittens are clear proof.
Yea, thats a sexist post. I'd like you to tell your mom that or any of the women at work that same thing. Men are often the actors in the world, but I firmly believe women are the backbone. Look at countries that have a disproportionately large amount of single men, and look at how they're doing.
It's not mental gymnastics at all. It's a fairly accurate log of why what seems simple and straightforward isn't as easy and straightforward as some would think. I took what I deemed the safest option for myself and my workplace, because escalating it by calling him out could easily have endangered myself, my coworkers, their clients, and the business. Not to mention it could've ultimately endangered my family if he was a stalker crazy type. I'm not happy about it. You think I wouldn't rather have him arrested for a sex crime? Of course I would. But I'm not going to hold him up in salon for five to twenty minutes while the police are en route. Of course I would rather find a way in that moment to stop the behavior but in the past, that's led to violence. Someone (ROTN maybe?) suggested stopping the loop by not participating in the fantasy. That's great IF he responds with remorse or embarrassment. My experiences dictate that he won't, he'll respond with anger or force, thereby endangering my environment. I get what you're saying and goddamn right the solution seems simple on its surface. Making a scene etc. sounds heroic and badass, for sure, but it's definitely led me down some not awesome roads in the past.