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2018 Holiday Drunk Thread (NSFW)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 10, 2018.

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  1. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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    Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and am very appreciative of all that I have.

    But some Bedouin chicks and a lava moat would spice things up a bit.
     
  2. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    First date? Fuck that, let's get married.

    "Sarah and Paul met on the dating app 'Bumble' on Dec. 15. A week later, they spoke on the phone for the first time. A day after that, they decided to get get married.

    On Christmas Eve, the couple met for the first time face to face at Gatswick Airport. That's where Paul popped the question."

    I really want an update on this one, but unless it goes extreme like he starts running around town in a Sarah skin jacket, I'll probably just have to settle for wild conjecture.
     
  3. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    I hung out a bar semi occasionally a year or two ago, me and my friends would hang out with the waitresses after hours because one went to our high school. One of them got pregnant with twins from a Tinder hook up and decided to keep them. They were trying to make it work out as a couple for the kids and their relationship didn't seem that bad. To ease the turmoil of being a new mother to twins she had not anticipated she said she just smoked tons of weed to deal with the stress. Life choices winner.
     
  4. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    If we can't develop fireproof piranha, why did we even bother going to the moon?

    You think Richard Branson was happy having topless models feed him grapes with his morning coffee? Hell, no. He dreamed of the day when he would wind surf with a naked model hanging on his back. And, lo, it happened.
     
  5. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I missed the internet dating boat completely. Which is fortunate, since it evidently seems to turn everybody into stupid assholes.
     
  6. AFHokie

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    A guy I went through training with married his wife three days after they met at a wedding where he was friends with the groom and she with the bride.

    They've been married now for over 20yrs
     
  7. walt

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    Almost the same thing with a guy I worked with. They only dated for a couple weeks before he popped the question. 20 + years later they're still married with 3 kids.

    And I still can't believe it.
     
  8. Misanthropic

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    I’m not a betting man, but I’d be willing to wager this outcome is atypical. A very large wager.
     
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    It is, but my parents were engaged after a month and married within eight months. They’ve been married for 45 years. Weirdos.
     
  10. shimmered

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    Y’all my husband bought squatty potties for our bathrooms and what a game changer.
     
  11. scotchcrotch

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    You can squat on your toilet seat for free.
     
  12. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    You can take a dump in your backyard for free, too. But, there's probably something to be said for convenience and being easy on your knees. ymmv
     
  13. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Husband’s spine is fused. And his knees are fucked. Let’s not get crazy with contortion.
     
  14. shimmered

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    Yup.


    Though it is one more thing I demand be bleached when loo is cleaned.
     
  15. PIMPTRESS

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    I just put my feet behind my head when I’m taking a shit.

    No kids tonight, my first break in forever. I have wine and just started Bird Box. Interesting thus far...
     
  16. shimmered

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    Husband keeps asking me what I wanna do for New Years but nothing here sounds appealing.

    I think he wants to go out.

    I wanna wear stretchy pants, smoke some pot, eat a piece of cake, and go to bed. I work both eve and day.
     
  17. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Not really. The neighbors complain.
     
  18. AFHokie

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    Wife wanted one, the bamboo reversible is the literal shit
     
  19. shimmered

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    I believe it. Husband is super serious about his poops. When I travel and don’t poop for three days he freaks the fuck out.
     
  20. AFHokie

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    Pro tip: poop at work, you're using their resources while getting paid to shit
     
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