2018 Holiday Drunk Thread (NSFW)

For once. They’ll be back. As irritating and fake as ever.



They are a cult cult cult cult CULT.

 

I'm completely comfortable working in either US Standard units or in Metric, but for the love of God can we please fix "ton"? It can either refer to a short ton (2000 lbs) a long ton (2240 lbs) or a metric ton (1000 kg). Fortunately they're all relatively close, so it won't blow any estimates completely to hell, but I never know what kind of ton something is referring to when they just use the naked word "ton."

 

I typically go with fuck-ton, because then it also sounds like a fun home town.

"How you doin'?"
"Oh, hi, where are you from?"
"Fuckton, Ohio."

 

Wait... youse guyz calls Imperial measurement “US Standard Units”? Gayyyyyyyyyyy.

Ton- 2000 lbs.

Tonne- 2200 lbs./1000 kg aka “metric ton”.

It’s in the spelling.

 

Technically Imperial Units and US Standard Units differ. US has a wet gallon and a dry gallon, both of which are smaller than the singular Imperial gallon. US fluid ounce is larger than an Imperial fluid ounce however.

I have seen the ton/tonne difference, but not universally enough to rely on it.

 

I always liked metric shit tonne.

 

Many of the units used in the US today are slightly different from the Imperial standards. Outside of stone, Canadians, Brits, and Australians are probably using the American versions rather than the Imperial ones.

That's because it's only spelled that way in countries that speak French or are infested with Quebecois. The english spelling is ton for both.


I know that there are at least a few Ohioans on this board, so I figured I'd post about the Pappy van Winkle Bottle Lottery for those who hadn't heard about it yet.

 

I’m working from home today. The beer store by my house has two rare kegs of bourbon barrel aged beer on tap. The only time I could go have a drink of them is during lunch. This is likely the only chance I will have to drink these two beers. No one will know since I don’t have to go into the office.

Does having a liquid lunch make me an alcoholic?

 

Nah, just makes you ‘Murican!

Or Russian, you’re pick.

 

If you work from home you do what you please. That’s why it’s the best way to work. Your own boss, your own hours, your own rules. No reason to piss in the coffee pot if you’re the only consumer of said beverage. I think there’s a wide line in the sand between alcoholics and people who simply like to drink. You’re in the right climate for drinks at lunch.

If you went drinking at lunch where I work, I’d tell you to fuck off for the day. Simply because I don’t want to be killed by a bridge crane under your control.

 

Jason Mamoa: Red Carpet level up.

 

Here, have some puppy.

 

I got my newest Soviet Pobeda watch today. This one:



It looks awesome, even better than the picture. Unfortunately, that's where the awesome ends. It keeps time about as well as I originally expected a commie watch to keep time. It gains about 5 minutes every hour. Sad, since my other two Pobeda Cold War era watches keep perfect time, which is not what I expected.

Also, judging by the band, the turnip sucking Russian who used to own this thing was HUGE. I'm not a small guy and this thing goes half way up my forearm. I guess I need to eat more turnips.

 

All I know is he is beautiful. I’m pretty sure no one was too upset.

 

Dude, a Maori actor plays his dad in Aquaman. If you’ve ever met Madonna, you’ll know that basically means you’re “in”.

Madonna gained a Brit accent from marrying Guy Richie, and became a spiritual leader by getting henna tattoos. She also fucked half the NBA willingly, so she was the perfect choice to lead MeToo.