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2018 Holiday Drunk Thread (NSFW)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 10, 2018.

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  1. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    No, not in the last few years.
     
  2. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Are you expecting someone to visit you from out of country? That’s usually why they call that frantically. Someone is in secondary and has given your name or number to validate their story and they’re trying to get a hold of you to confirm.

    Or someone has given a wrong number to the BPS officer.
     
  3. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Maybe they’re branching out, and are now offering rape in the comfort of your own home.
     
  4. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Or, are you listed as a reference or contact for somebody with a Visa?
     
  5. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Or did Little Bandit try jumping the Rio Grande in an old Trans Am?
     
  6. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Or did Jungle Julia's bush just get raided and they found a bunch of illegals hiding out?
     
  7. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    She got it caught in the fence
     
  8. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    IT'S A WALL... come on dude... keep up.
     
  9. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Hope everyone has a good Friday night!

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    [​IMG]
     
  11. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I love my boys more than anything but they’ve begun referring to each other and me as “fam” and it makes me feel like murder.
     
  12. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    They’ll think it’s cool until you do it to them. And go way over the top... as in “oh look I can be cool too!” over the top.
     
  13. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    Or she can just play this on blast with the windows down when she picks them up from school:

     
  14. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    This has been done. As well as Gangnam Style. They actually just owned it and danced to the car both times.

    I take every opportunity I can to be embarrassing. It’s literally the only upside to parenting. I believe it develops character.
     
  15. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    That was my first thought, and I called him immediately to be sure everything was okay. He's fine.

    Well, her bush has been getting a little unruly lately.

    We had been keeping up the shaping routines (we had it shaped into an arrow for a long time, and then she wanted the black widow hourglass back), but we haven't done much to it for the last month or so, because we've both been really busy.
     
  16. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    This. Call them "DAN" in front of their friends. Act completely surprised when they ask why you're calling them Dan. Then continue calling them Dan until they stop.
     
  17. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Embarrassing our kids is the only weapon parents are allowed to use to keep them in line. It was easier for the Greatest Generation: If your kid got smart mouthed, you simply slammed their head into a fish tank. After that, they got the message.

    Somewhere in between then and now, we came up with shows like “Nanny 911” where parents have been beaten down by society to a point where a parent is on one of these stupid fucking reality shows, reasoning with their kid by saying “Madison, it would make Mommy really happy if you didn’t throw rocks at her head.”
     
  18. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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    It’s amazing how several days of not drinking dramatically drives home all of the reasons I drink to begin with.

    Being stuck inside with a sullen teenager is not helping.
     
  19. wilder111

    wilder111
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    Disturbed

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    yeah, I'm not sure this "Dry January" is gonna last the whole month...I feel like if after 1.5 weeks, if I haven't seen a marked improvement, i might just switch to a "Damp January", and just limit myself to 1 drink a week.....that's just as good, right?
     
  20. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Woohoo! Just booked my first trip back home. Round trip for a standard flight with good layovers was $267. And none of that gimpy ass shit where you don't get a carry on. I wonder how long it will be before my hair freaks out in the humidity. I give it 6 hours from landing before Iook like Hermione's redneck cousin.
     
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