In honor of the 4th, I present the shittiest song ever: When I was playing the bar circuit, we finally had to give in and learn to play this fucking thing because by 10:30 or so this is what the rednecks needed to get the party started. We always followed it up with Shout at the Devil just because.
Yeah. He looks like a walrus. What fucking parent can sit there and just keep shoveling shit into their kid's mouth? Funny everyone is talking fatty-pants food, because here is a list of 24 Crazy Fair Foods. Including such hits as : meat sundae, chicken fried bacon, 1500 calorie donut cheeseburger, and... "French Fry Coated Hot Dog – Texas: Eat your hotdog and side of fries at once, conveniently on a handheld stick." I can't lie, some of that stuff sounds awesome. Fried cookie custard on a stick? Come on. However, I will not be having the heart disease smorgasbord all in one sitting. You have to get up and walk around between meals, obviously.
A Canadian song, though. It's practically folklore up here. Gary Lee just passed away a little while ago.
They do plenty of OTHERS things, like beating up smaller kids and recess and putting the CEO's kids of Hostess through college. There's no excuse. It's not big bones or a glandular issue. Your kid is a fat disgusting fuck, and it's because you suck as a parent. It's not a disease, it's not peer pressure or TV shows or video games. You suck. And so does your kid. I guess in honour of tomorrow "Glory" is on TV right now. Best war movie ever made, so fucking amazing.
I'm gonna weigh in on this whole fat kid issue with a prison story. When I was at a TDC unit in San Antonio, my cellie was a fat, annoying, spoiled white kid (24 years old), and he bullied the hell out of our neighbors (a guy from my area, and a Mexican national), as well as any new young guys who came into our building. He absolutely would not learn, and kept his shit up even after getting his head knotted-up by our neighbor. He was also a racist, and was the kind of guy who makes all white people look bad. He didn't mess with me because I let him know I wasn't there to fuck around. Here's the kicker: He was in prison (7 years, aggravated) for robbing a Carl's Jr. He robbed the store while he was barred-out on Xanax, and was caught after he fell asleep in his car. I am not making that up; he told the story all the time. He told a lot of stories about his shenanigans in the free world, and he was a douche bag in all of them.
Yesterday I drove down to NC to pick up my kid from her Jesus camp (she came right home and watched the episode of Pretty Little Liars that aired while she was away, so don't worry about her being brainwashed into forgetting that the most important thing in the world is finding out who A is). On the way down I stopped at a BBQ joint known for its fried green tomatoes. I've never actually had any. I enjoyed them except for the fact that I was impatient to get back on the road and so was trying to eat them hot out of the fryer. The tomato juice, roughly the same temp as liquid hot magma, burned the roof of my mouth and I am still dealing with it. We grilled burgers tonight, and tomorrow Mr. Bell will smoke some chicken and I will cook some butter beans that I got at the farmers market. Hahahaha I just realized the order of the date on the thread title. Well played.
Happy ID4 kids. I can't think of anything more American than a self-defence killing of a racist in a Waffle House: Here is a prime example of why America will never have a battle sea. Because nobody in their right mind would think about it, especially when you have boats with cannons that put holes in planets and have gatling guns that fire bullets on top of each other: ...oh, and welcome to Alabama:
Wow, that was a fucking dangerous bluff to call. I wonder if when he calmed down he realized how easily he could have been killed. Sucks for the other guy though… It's probably a really shitty feeling to pull a gun on someone then just get called a pussy.
My venerable car, a 2003 Ford Focus, is nearing the end of her days. As such, the wife and I went to an Audi dealer yesterday, because I wanted to look at an A4. Instead, we looked at an A3. Wow, what a neat car.
The only good thing about Florida's ludicrous gun law, if a cop saw that, Mr Pencil Dick would have been pulled out of that car by his overbite, arrested, and most likely convicted for menacing with a firearm. Even if he was white. I was woken up today by the soothing sounds of gale force fucking winds and pounding rain. This shit better clear up. There are so many dudes in tight swimwear to ogle today.
I had a home grilled burger last night. It was the first burger I have had in years. I came a little bit.
Well... Man mocks alligators, jumps in water and is killed in Texas http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/04/us/texas-alligator-attack/index.html