ScarJo is pregnant. Her boobs are going to be even more amazing. God I hope pregnancy doesn't ruin them.
Been a while since Drunk angel has been about. Now post more so we can live vicariously through your drunkenness. Fuck being sick, I've spent the better part of the last three days in bed with this fucking fever burning through me and trying my hardest not to cough a lung up because each time I do my head feels like it's going to explode. Apparently my temperature was a tidy 39C yesterday morning, there really has to be an easier way to get free days off work.
Some preliminary thoughts: *hey, I don't feel so bad. I thought I would be stupidly hungover this morning after only getting five hours sleep. I am the master of rocking day-scientist, night-partier. *why is everything spinning? *fuck, I think I'm still drunk.
Drunk? Are you sure that John Travolta didn't just type these for them? Sorry, I'm still laughing at the whole Adele Dazeem thing, especially the way the internet has handled it in awesome internet fashion.
Homeless report, day 4. Contrary to popular belief, bums do not make their own gravy, or at least we have not discovered the recipe. I have no sign yet. It would have to be really funny to compete with the sad sack gypsy signs My desire to have a mangy dog to make people sympathetic has increased 20%. Countries visited since being homeless: 4
No phone no pool no pets... There are squirrels running along my back fence chirping at my dog. God help him AND them if they ever make contact.
Yeah that was lots of fun... the first time I witnessed my dog achieve what seemed to be his lifelong dream and finally catch a squirrel in the backyard last fall. I am so glad he listens to the "drop" command really well (especially when shouted), that little squirrel was as lucky as it was stupid and escaped scared but unharmed. A couple months later another one wasn't so fortunate, or the first one cornered itself by the firewood again, because the dog ever so proudly put it in my hand when I opened up the back door to let him in. Dogs and squirrels... a never-ending interspecies war.
Hmmm... you might need to ramp up the aggression a bit. Buck seems to hear "son of a BITCH!" a lot clearer than just "idiot" or "dumbass"... go figure. I got some solid advice from a training video Will Ferrel did, good stuff.
Squirrels around here aren't small and cute like everywhere else. Here they are bigger than mature sewer rats and will not have to fight your because it will simply lift it up and slam it back-and-forth like Bam-Bam Rubble. They are carnivorous and mutated here, the city with the densest squirrel population on the planet. Anybody who thinks dogs aren't powerful animals has never once had a dog on a leash when a squirrel ran out in front of them.
City squirrels, and especially city raccoons... provide them unlimited dumpsters and trash cans full of food and you will produce monsters. Like the cute and evil Woodland Critters from South Park except in real life. A plague of mutant trash-fed city squirrels with a predisposition for violence and taste for blood... how the hell was that not the plot for a horror film back in the 60s?