3/21/14 NATIONAL PUPPY DAY WDT (still NSFW, weird)

To be fair - maybe they gave it to fat cunt because she's such an entitled cunt that if they didn't, she'd've raised hell, so it's easier to give it to her than not.

 

I just looked down and realized I'm wearing black slacks, a black belt, and black socks with my brown shoes today. I felt tired this morning, must've been more out of it than I thought.

I've always loved The Onion and am continually reminded why I do... Report: 95% Of Grandfathers Got Job By Walking Right Up And Just Asking

 

I must have 20+ different shades and textures of dress socks in my closet.

After their first wear, it's nearly impossible to pair them up again.

 

From her website: (which I copied from facebook, I in no way, shape or form have ever been to her website).

Conscious Uncoupling

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Love,
Gwyneth & Chris

 

Jesus Christ could that sound more buzz-word pretentious? You're breaking up. The. Fucking. End. How much does one have to sugar coat that their marriage is a failure? Oh, she's getting a bracket in the tournament for SURE now.

Her dull words. His dull music. They're fucking soul mates.

 

Barring nepotism, are there really situations like this? Managers sitting in fear of their employees raising hell over not getting a lollipop when the kid sitting next to them did? I guess I'm just lucky to work where I do. Or I'm completely oblivious to all the politicks.

 

When I'm finished with school, I will never again work for a family-run business. Ever. They want each other they can HAVE each other. Every six months the owner of my company gives his teenage kids the "tour". As in "Someday this will all be yours" tour.

I expect in the next year or so to be told "Crown; this is my son, Skippy. He's your new supervisor." You can be damn sure I will hear that eventually. I will live no part of fucking nepotism. It is a destroyer of worlds.

 

Seconded. My last company was positively incestuous and three rich twats inherited it, hiring sisters and spouses to as admin. Fuck that hornet's nest.

 

Nepotism does nothing but devalue companies and provides a sense of entitlement to little shits that have no background or knowledge on the matter.

I wouldn't go so far as rallying for a 100% estate tax, but we voted down royal bloodlines when we defected from England.

The likes of Paris Hilton are a direct slap in the face of our forefathers.

 

Bracket 1/4 For the Douchelympics. I need to break it up a bit more.:

MEN'S:

Mystery vs. John Fitzgerald Page
A clash of the delusional titans. Fighting for Canada is Mystery, "The Pick-Up Artist". Mystery is widely known for his reality show, seduction classes and published book. He played a major part in the PUA virus that still haunts The Industry today. He is NOT so well-known as a bi-polar fruitcake who pulled this entire mass façade out of his ass. For the USA Is JFP or as he prefers to be called "Mensa with Muscles". There's so much love for this man, especially a laundry list of so-called bragging rights that includes being an extra in shitty movies to relentlessly bragging about attending a few Wharton classes. A class by himself, this debonair gent.

Joe Francis vs. Guy Fieri
In one corner, we have the founder of Girls Gone Wild: a buck-toothed wounded ex-dork that caught a cosmic break in taking advantage of intoxicated, criminally underaged girls. Add in felony assault and forcible confinement of women to this Casanova! His opponent is a monstrously noisy and obnoxious fucktard who dresses like a 1997 barstar and makes as one board member adequately put (paraphrasing) "Glorified bar food that lets him judge actual talented chefs who vie for his approval" He pockets ten of thousands for speaking engagements, because what a pleasure to hear him talk.

WOMEN'S:

Amy Bouzlago vs. Nancy Grace
A true clash of champions. Amy Bouzlago is the owner of Amy's Baking Company in Scottsdale, Arizona. She and her mob stooge of a husband were the first people, ever, to chase off Gordon Ramsay. She may just be the most repulsive and vile person in the history of television. Then we have Nancy Grace, a dangerously insane bag-lady who fires off wild, fact-free accusations to a large audience making her stupid, full of herself AND dangerous. And she never shuts up. Ever.

Lindsay Lohan vs. Amanda Bynes
What happens when two trainwrecks collide? Watch two young women melt their faces like they stared into the Ark on go on a scorched-earth warpath of hilarious and often demented behavior. LiLo needs no introduction, Bynes came on strong in the stretch with some great plays such as turning herself into a Cabbage Patch kid and attempting to set herself and her dog on fire in her neighbour's driveway.

Vote in PM or on here. In the words of Chrissy Lambert, there can be only one.

 

Oh shit, Nancy Grace is in the tournament? Put all my money on her to win it all, please.

 

I'm trying to find a clip of the Office episode where Michael burns his foot on the George Foreman grill making bacon when he wakes up and can't... but yeah, some people have too much money for their own good. $40 for those things.

For Crown.

Spoiler

It was a Conan gag.

 

I wish my parents owned a billion dollar company that I could run. Because I have a strong desire to be rich, but I have 0 desire to do the leg work. I would probably sell the company immediately, then go snowboard/golf every day for the rest of my life. Because that is what I want to do with life.

People that own a company and don't plan to give it to their kids probably have retarded kids.

 

I'm currently in a battle with Youtube who keeps insisting on using my real name for my account. Why ask my preference if you keep switching it back? Every day it does this.

What is a non-embarrassing number of pushups to do at the gym? This is just a Y, nothing hardcore. There was a nice-looking guy there and I wanted to impress him with my skillz, but not sure if I was just sad. I think I'm better than the 20-year-old that does 5 situps then texts for 5 minutes, but maybe not as good as 60-year-old-yoga-pants-wearing dude. Although I'm pretty sure I can take him hand-to-hand*.

*not sure

I've got some big plans tomorrow:

 

This is what you were looking for.

 

So you're pitting a rapist against a guy who's persona and food you don't like?

I guess we'll call that the 1v16 matchup.

 

I always thought he looked like the lead singer of a shitty Smashmouth tribute band. He's a dipshit, but he doesn't hold a candle to Joe Francis.

Edit: Yes, I realize "shitty Smashmouth tribute band" is redundant.