3/28/14 WDT NSFW

Well you gotta put on a little top hat and bow tie on it. It's all in the details.

 

A friend of mine gave his a "works" dressing in a hotdog bun and presented it. I thought it was hilarious when he told me. Her not so much.

 

There were two dudes I remember specifically in college that were interested in me that I had no idea. I wouldn't say they were friends. One I was in class with and we'd work on projects together and the other was a wrestler dude that was friends with my neighbor. He'd just hangout with me if I was outside while he waited for his friend. I found out after the first guy transferred and the second guy graduated. I would have gone out with either of them. Assuming all guys want to bang* you seems conceited to me.

*Why does autocorrect keep changing bang to hang? Changes the meaning completely.

 

I remember on the old advice board that whenever guys would write in about their girl issues, many of the mods would ask them if they had any female friends who they could call, ask to meet up for whatever, and not have any possible romantic undertones attached to it. I'm not sure I quite remember the exact reason for it. Something to do with having social skills in general, or simply being able to relate to women as people.

I'm not saying that a lot of guys who are "just friends" with women don't want to sleep with them. The last girl I dated I was friends with for a while, and we kept in sporadic contact because we lived in different cities. Then I went to hang out with her while I was in town for a weekend, and saw her in a different light. Then when I saw her again about a year later, I was so darn charming that she came and visited me. The fact we lived in different cities kind of helped, though - someone doesn't just all of a sudden decide to travel a few hundred kilometres and ask if they can crash at your place for no reason. If we had to see each other on a regular basis, I wouldn't be able to just keep up the charade of "friends" indefinitely.

Of the close female friends I have right now, I have zero romantic or sexual inclination for them, and never have. I've known some of them for years and years, and I don't know how I'd continue the friendship for that long if I did like them in that way. I'd most likely test out the waters, notice the lack of signals, and quietly distance myself. There are some that I might consider dating, but they aren't particularly close friends, and there are also other considerations (i.e. working in the same office) to be made.

 

'scuse me while I whip this out

Um, how else are you supposed to answer the 6" or footlong question?

 

Gotta put it in a box first. My girlfriend just loves getting surprise presents.

 

What do you think a guy with a micropenis gets when he flops it on the counter? Just the heel of the bread and a little smear of mayo on the tip?

 

Pity?

 

I thought guys made their own condiments.

 

Active shooter at Fort Hood (again).

There are some fucked up people in this world.

 

CNN phone alerts. About as accurate.

 

It doesn't matter because he's driving a sweet tricked-out Escalade.

 

Here's a short instructional video for you.

 

Re: Re: 3/28/14 WDT NSFW

Speaking of taxes my festering asshole of a father in law sold 2 mutual funds last year that had been opened under my wife's name without her knowledge 5-6 years ago.

Now this wouldn't have been a problem had he said something, instead he sells the funds, pockets all the money, pays no taxes and fucks me over.

I get a bill from the IRS and now I am on the hook for not reporting income for my wife that I had no idea existed.

He of course is refusing to pay for it, and I know I'll get a bill from the state as well, anyone know of any option I have?

I am thinking about just telling the IRS that it's on him, I have to respond by next week.

I am fucked.

 

Of course you talk to him once, figure out if he was serious or joking around. If he wasn't, and even if he had said it in the sweetest, no stalker way, if you're not willing to try a relationship with him, cut ties. Speaking as the former friend zone resident, it would have been easier and less painful for me to lose a friend than to sit in the zone still hoping for more months/years.

Hahahaha. You're cute. That's funny. No they didn't. She leaned on him. He thought about what it would be like to put his penis inside her and have her want to have breakfast the next day. If it's a symbiotic relationship at all, it's the woman being an emotional vampire, and the guy getting to feed off his dreams of happiness with her in the futu