4/11/14 WDT NSFW

And neither of us can read our sarcasm online.

See? Exactly, I'm getting drunk and laid tonight and ultimately that's what counts.

Leinie's... man that is some sweet stuff and despite how much I dislike some of their beers I could empty a case of the Summer Shandy pretty quickly if I wanted to.

 

Here, you guys should share my enjoyment.

 

Cleaning guns at odd hours has it's perks. No, seriously, story time?

 

I couldn't sit through more than the first 3.5 minutes of that. Much to my horror, my traitorous brain kept trying to pan down and see the nude train wreck. Without having watched it all, I'm going ahead with my assumption that this warthog is on some form of social assistance, and respectfully submit that a shot gun shell would be a more efficient use of tax payer funds.

 

Yea, that was my thought, who's paying for her to lay around all day consuming resources? I don't think she understands that by living that way, someone is having to support her. If she does know she doesn't care. I agree with Chellie, time to call that one a loss and move on.

Unfortunately for society, it looks like she'll never work at hot topic because she got banned, probably because of stealing. Its ok though, because she has other useful hobbies like playing the trombone and xylophone.

 

Coming back to this, I will say it helps that the shelter is no-kill. It would be ALOT harder to hang out and do stuff with the dogs and cats if I knew there was a ticking clock. Chicago has done a pretty amazing job, given the size of the city and the cluster that is most other governmental/administration stuff here, in terms of moving no-kill. In the last 5 year, the euthanization rate is like 20% of what it used to be.

The adoption center itself is beautiful, the animals are kept in windowed rooms, having regular walk/play schedules for dogs and "socialization" times for cats, its not like being in a home, but they get plenty of attention and the adoption rate is super high. Like if an animal is there for longer than a month, its abnormal. Not surprisingly, the volunteer process is pretty efficient, online sign ups for shifts, orientations, etc... The place I was at yesterday is more their intake center, which is a bit more classic with metal cages stacked up, but its only supposed to be temporary until they can be transferred to the adoption center. I used to help out at a shelter in college that was less formal, but the main idea is that they can ALWAYS use volunteers. Id just swing by wherever she was looking at ask. Needless to say, its become something that I'm pretty passionate about, cause its amazing to see what a little bit can do.

 

I got home from work this morning at 2 am, but had to stay up because for some reason they decided to give me flood irrigation at 3:50 am about 2:30 I looked out my front door and saw shady mcfuckface slinking down the street. He walks up a driveway about 50 yards from my house and looks in a few car windows, then he looks around and walks back into the street right towards my house. I had grabbed a 357 halfway through watching him because I did not want to lug around the heavy shotgun, plus I have these hot rounds that I am waiting to try out. He takes 2 steps up my driveway and then sees me standing in the doorway and starts to talk, I rudely interrupt him and tell him that if he takes another step it will be unfortunate with that it was end of conversation and he got the fuck out of there.
Now as great as the story sounds I never even got around to pointing the gun at him and if he had taken another step I would have just shut my door and called the cops as I was not at all in fear for my life but I was pissed off that he wanted mess with my stuff and I thought it was a nice reminder for him that if he is going to walk around in the middle of the night there are guys like me who will always be watching for him.

 

I have been informed that I am a terrible person for sharing what I thought was an uplifting and motivating video, so to make amends I give you Welsh Corgi puppies attempting to herd a toy pig.

 

I'm at a metal show. One of those rare occasions where I feel young.

 

Being on medical rest sucks the big one. And not in the good way either. I'm getting real close to whining.

Instead, I'll just post stupid shit I find on the internet:


I've got more. Unfortunately.

On the upside, looks like I got a new microwave. High purchases for the win! I may have also bought a dress and underwear.

Guess I'll go eat my orange, that should fill me right up. It is a rather large orange.

I'm whining aren't I?

I'm so bored. And hungry, so so hungry.

 

But they go with the dress.

 

Pictures are the only way to prove this. Preferably with them being worn.

 

Spring can be a cruel bitch. Yesterday it was 77 and very sunny, tomorrow we'll get a couple inches of slushy snow.

 

Okay fine. But I'm sitting on my ass the next couple of weeks. I guarantee nothing. Maybe they're granny panties and a mumu.

 

I left my pants and shoes at someone else's place the other night (far less sexy than you'd think) and now I am reduced to wearing athletic pants and running shoes until I can go and pick them up. I've become my older brother.

 

Seems appropriate...and actually fucking hilarious.

EDIT: Won't embed for some reason...

<a class="postlink" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840waOfQ50o" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840waOfQ50o</a>