Watch this turn out because she didn't want to go on a trip planned on June 1st. Anyway, this weekend, I had way too much of this new hard cider "Smith and Forge" which is 6% alcohol in a can. Also doesn't taste like alcohol. The problem being it has 23gs of sugar in it. All that sugar had me wake up feeling like Willy Wonka skull fucked me. Worst hangover ever. Also one of my really good friends is hilariously being an idiot. He's fucking his girlfriend's "bestfriend." His gf is a piece of shit, but he shouldn't be such a goddamn coward. Bestfriend is an upgrade so I'm not really getting on a high horse. The hilarious part is that he had 50 of his closest friends over his house last night for his birthday, and 45 of them knew what was going on as the bestfriend was acting like the gf, and the gf was off not paying attention to him, being a terrible gf. He was going around telling everyone that bestfriend will be the new girlfriend. He wanted to get caught so badly, there was a point when the two vanished for a quicky. He was drunk and played the smell my fingers game. He did not get caught over the course of 6 hours of him doing all but fucking her over the pool table. The gf still doesn't know (or she killed him after everyone left at 5am and we don't know yet). You know why? Because snitches get stitches.
This dumb bitch think she isn't in trouble because she "Blocked the FBI on Twitter". She's already on the news. She has to be the dumbest cunt in history. Enjoy prison, stupid.
Hey, my dad can bounce his boobs like that too! At about the 5 1/2 minute mark you know where they are doing that one exercise where they are standing facing the machine and holding the rubber grips and pulling down on the weights (I don't know what it's called)? I saw a kid at my gym using that machine. Except he was facing away from the machine and kneeling and he had those grip things wrapped around his neck. He then proceeded to do stomach crunches holding onto the grips. But the weight was too much so he'd try to do it but then kind of lean sideways and then come up off his knees a bit. It was rather entertaining. Anyway, is the machine supposed to be used that way also?
Thanks for caring about the status of my hangover (you don't actually care) but I am hangover free and that's the way to be! Only hangover I remember having was from entirely too much horrible, horrible and cheap red wine and Bayou rum at Christmastime. I may have been drinking straight from the bottle while I karaoked loudly in the upstairs TV room. I must have been drunk as fuck because of how close I was sitting between 2 brother in law and the fact that I was participating in karaoke. I fucking hate karaoke.
The only thing lamer than the Masters is the sort of person who comes to our sports bar specifically to watch the Masters.
Just for fun, I tried to see if I could bounce mine like that. It turns out I cannot. In the process, however, I think I just wrecked a bra.
Shut it. The Masters is awesome. Think about the fact that you never see a pine cone, squirrel, or trash. They have everything covered. For fucks sake when companies pulled their advertising over the no women rule they paid the ad costs and aired it commercial free. I do not like golf in general, but Jim Nantz saying "Hello Friends" is heaven.
Everyone should go to the Masters at least once, tickets are affordable, food at the Masters costs next to nothing compared to any other sporting event, it's a great time. I watch it every year, couple of new names in the final round this year, Freddie looked to be coming on early but he has dropped back now.
I just find ways to use every piece of equipment in the gym to do bicep curls like this CT Fletcher's beard looks like it's just made of pubes.
Damn Angel, bras are expensive. My dad made it extra awesome by adding a shuffle dance with it and making sure my friends were around. Oh yeah, he'd also do it to some song playing on the radio. If only he had a nickname. "Dad stop you're embarrassing me" didn't seem cool enough.
That is a tricep pull down, sounds like he was trying to do a core crunch but not correctly. They can be done on those machines, along with the overhead French curl (or Standing Skullcrusher in meathead lingo). All I know is there's not enough squat racks in the world to do bi's. Youll never get heavier IoI's from gym sluts than with straight curls, every goddamn day.
Dear lord. Technology has surpassed all bounds of imagination. It's the ultimate panty-dropper: a KFC chicken corsage. Show up with one of those and no woman will be able to resist you.
Wow, that's even white-trashier than those vomit bucket Famous Bowls. For your prom date who frequents Pro Wrestling/Monster truck competitions.
Famous Bowls, man I haven't had one of those in a long time, perfect drunk food. My stoner buddies would always get them on the way back from the bar.
I don't know what is with people when it comes to the always-ends-poorly Drunk & Hungry combination. I don't usually crave food drunk unless there's a grill in the vicinity. However my friends fall in the larger majority of I WANT IT FAST, CHEAP AND GROSS BECAUSE I AM A CANADIAN HERO GODDAMMIT so it's off to either... A) Taco Bell B) 7-11 There are no other options. Fuck. That. I can hardly stomach that sober, much less with 15 beers chain-smoking their way through your body. Let them turn their night into a fresh Hell I know better.
The greatest trick Jim Nantz ever pulled was dominating the Masters coverage a week after the NCAA Final Four where he is absolutely boring and awful, and convincing people to forget that mediocrity.