4/12/2013 WDT

Crown I a smoke once a month, maybe. But fun

 

Ever had one of those days where no matter how much you drink, you can't catch a buzz?

I hate those days.

 

Here's what: I got buzzed after a glass of wine. I'm lame.

 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh college

 

I have worked 64 hours this week and it looks like I have a similar week ahead of me, starting tomorrow. I'm having a beer and will be lucky to have another before passing the fuck out.

Sadly, I was working instead of enjoying the Cannabis Cup.

 

Your state IS the Cannabis Cup.

 

I'm excited to see how weed is legalized here. I'm one of those people that doesn't want the strongest strain I can get, I don't want to get stoned off my ass, I don't want to be giggling for hours (although when I tried hash when I was 19 that was pretty fun), I want a nice strain that is mellow and doesn't kick the shit out of me. It seems like too many people are trying to find the strongest weed versus the most enjoyable.

 

I don't like the strong shit. I need to be able to function, I like to be in control. The strong shit makes me paranoid and that is no fun at all.

 

I remember I'd smoke in the dorms (at good ole CU) and go to dinner at the dining hall and I'd be paranoid the person scanning my student ID would be able to tell if I was stoned. Like they gave a shit really, but the weed somehow made me care. Its funny though cause if I was drunk I wouldn't give a shit if they noticed. I don't smoke now, but back in my freshman year I smoked quite a bit (I was a bit of a stoner, it was a phase) the best weed I had was real maui waui, that was a good night. It'll be interesting to see if I can go to a store and get the real stuff again. My problem buying weed now is you just don't know what you're really getting, kind of like getting bootleg liquor during prohibition, you really not 100% certain whats in in it.

 

I watched some of that. I don't remember any good tits though. Can't remember what the movie is called.

 

Yeah this shit that someone around me may of been smoking is way too strong

 

So I am watching the amazing race, and it amuses me that they are finally back in America and none of their cab drivers speak decent english.

 

He doesn't really post (or read) here anymore, but assuming everyone remembers dubyu tee eff, he proposed to his lady friend about a month ago and tonight was their engagement party. Mrs. Cowbell and ssycko were supposed to come too, but they didn't because they're the worst, so I was hanging out with his other friends and, as always, that went really well for me.

Shortly after I arrived, I was talking to one of his friends from high school, who was there with his fiance. I was trying to get the scoop of what he was like in high school when the friend asked me what my most embarrassing dubyu story was. The only one I could think of was from the very first meetup:

Me: Well, this is probably an inappropriate story to tell at his engagement party, but, we were originally Internet friends and then when we first hung out in real life he brought a girl with him that he was trying to hook up with, but by the end of the night we ended up making out instead.
They look at me in shock.
Me: Oh, me and the girl. Not me and [Dubyu].
Friend: That's awesome.
Me: Yeah, and then instead of anything happening with them he had to help her get home and deal with her throwing up for the rest of the night. So...that was entertaining for me. And now we're the best of friends!
Friend: Which friend was it?
Me: I don't remember. It was two years ago.

So, obviously this couple and I become fast friends. A few minutes later, Dubyu comes over.

Me: Hey, guess what story I just told them.
Dubyu: Which story?
Me: The story from the first time we met.
Dubyu: Oh, yes. I love that story.
Me: I know that your engagement party was the most appropriate time to tell it.
Dubyu: Don't worry, [his fiance] knows all about our history. But, look at them now! They're getting along great!

And he gestures behind him to where his fiance is sitting talking to this girl that I had exchanged pleasantries with earlier.

Me: Wait....what?
Dubyu: Yeah, that's her.
Me: SHE'S HERE?
Dubyu: Yeah...we're still friends.
Me: WHAT THE HELL.
Dubyu: You didn't recognize her?
Me: NO.

The couple that I had told the story to burst out laughing. The night continues. At some point, the girl and I are in the same conversation and she keeps looking at me strangely and finally said "You look really familiar." And I said "Yeah, we've met before," and I remind her of when it was and where we were and she remembers but I'm around 98% sure she didn't remember what happened.

Then, later in the night, I realize that the guy she had been hanging out with the whole night - who I was pretty certain was gay - was actually her boyfriend. By the time they decided to leave, I was a few drinks in so when they said goodbye to me I hugged the girl and shook the guy's hand and leaned in close to his ear and said "I've made out with your girlfriend" and gave him a big smile and watched them leave with him looking very confused.

So, I think it's best if I just lay low for a while and never leave the house again.

 

I previously thought I understood the term crowded. I went to the Seoul Zoo today, and I learned exactly how mistaken I was my whole life. There is crowded, and then there is Asian crowded. Bitches brought tents...to the zoo. By the time we left, there were easily 50,000 people on the promenade leading to the zoo. This place is buck-futting insane when it comes to crowds, holy shit.

Also, I went to the old flea market and watched an adorable, old Korean grandfather haggle over a tube of anal lube at the sex toy booth. It's quite surreal to go to a place with a 20 ft. shrine to whiskey, wigs, fake North Face jackets and 1970's era sex toys all within 30 feet of each other.

 

I'm hurty today. Why does church need to be in the fucking morning? Also, I won a tv last night in an awful backhanded way, because the true winner was the groom's brother and the groom didn't want him to win. Made the night infinitely more enjoyable because I reaffirm that stag and does blow donkey balls.

 

What are you people doing awake without heartless children forcing you from your beds?

 

I'm conditioned to be up at 6, sleeping until 7 was "sleeping in."
Sad, because the kids are at dad's.