4/12/2013 WDT

Yeah, I'm sure past experience of help from this place has beneficial.

 

So, the tv I won last night playing Stag & Doe Plinko is too big for my entertainment unit... so I spent the evening shopping for wall units. My "free" tv is going to end up costing me $2000. In my next life, I want to be a wood worker. Clearly this "science" thing isn't where the money is.

You must have been a treat to sleep next to last night. One hearty Dutch oven would have probably leveled your house.

 

You could probably sell the TV to pay for a new TV that's smaller and other random stuff.

 

But do you have the sand to make a Cuba Libre? Twice as exotic, twice as expensive, same fucking drink.

 

I stopped on this Ryan Lochte reality show. He has down syndrome but just looks normal, right? If you told me that he couldn't read I would believe you. Did he go to even elementary school?

 

The worst thing that happened to women in 2012 was Ryan Lochte opening his mouth.

 

You rang?

 

And you would do him.

 

Oh shit, completely forgot about this.

Ok, so... this girl. We've grown really attached to each other. We love each other and if it wasn't for the distance (australia), we'd be together. We're both virgins, for different reasons.

She was fat in high school and was bullied to the point of wanting to commit suicide. She got past it and lost all the weight. She's now a registered nurse, 115 pounds and generally awesome. However, she still she's fat and hates her body. Personally, I think she's beautiful, but she says I'm blind. She hates her body so much that she's afraid to be with anyone because "it's gross". It's the reason why she hasn't visited, she thinks I won't want her. I've seen everything and reassured her that I will and do. She doesn't think so.

Recently she talked about hiring a hooker for herself. I encouraged her because I think it'd do wonders for her self esteem and make her happy. She couldn't go through with it.

Yesterday I half jokingly said that I'd get one if she did. She was all for it. I looked them up and they were all incredibly hot, but... they weren't her. They seemed fake, and while I'd love to give them the D, they wouldn't necessarily feel the same way.

I want her. I'm crazy about her. But if me doing it helps her in any way... I don't know. Advise me.

 

Manti Te'o is that you?

 

Oh sweet Wheelz, you had that option given to you in the past and you respectfully declined. You wanted love. K, here it is. Encourage your relationship, build her up, not push her to something you didn't deem acceptable for yourself not that long ago.

 

What she said. Paying someone to fuck you can't help much with self-esteem, since you are paying for them to be there. She needs a therapist and patience.


I pray this isn't a catfish scenario.

 

You've been able to talk to her on facetime and stuff, right?

 

Is that when you have an "Internet relationship" and somebody turns it into to most boring documentary ever filmed?

 

Ken Burns, Hyperbole Man. Hyperbole Man, Ken Burns. Obviously, you've never met.

 

It's not hyperboyle, it' fact. Why anyone liked that movie puzzles me greatly. It's as dull and uninteresting as employee training videos.

 

Speaking of being drunk . . . rookie newscaster on his first anchor job. Oops.



Despite getting a shout out from Scott Van Pelt, apparently, dude lost his job.

 

He's had support from alot of people. Multiple ESPN anchors have reached out saying similar things happened to them at some point. I can't help think that he was fired because people thought he said "gay". Either way, the level of attention he's gotten will likely get him another job.

For shits and giggles, I looked up his co-anchor there. Despite having a masters from Columbia and working on a variety of notable CNN programs, she's still hustling in a far flung metro of less than 100K people. Rough industry.