4/12/2013 WDT

And then you become a somewhat above-average college linebacker and get Heisman Trophy hype and first round draft pick talk because of the school you play for and the fact that your supposed girlfriend supposedly died. And then you let the guy behind the hoax fuck you in the ass.

 

Well, that dude from NY didn't lose his job for encouraging his co-anchor to "keep fucking that chicken" a couple years ago.



Which, I guess was okay, since he replied with "I'll do that." But, yeah, he should be able to use it to get another job, and get out of North Dakota, too.

 

So remember that wonderful, wonderful girl who wrote that insane E-Mail to her sorority sisters? Here is Michael Shannon reading it out loud. And it is glorious.

 

I happen to love employee training videos. Where else can I learn how to be nice to customers?

Last night I had to help some friends serve at our banquet. While it makes for a long night, I got first dibs on leftovers. I am now the proud owner of potato salad, pasta salad, ziti, homemade Mac and cheese, tons of rolls, and roast beef. Good thing I'm not afraid of carbs. I also grabbed some cupcakes on the way out. I love banquets.

 

That guy's from my hometown originally, and is semi-famous for having said a bunch of stuff like that. Including "Go to myfox dot cock."

 

Following the same vein as Happyfunball, yesterday I slow cooked, and then grilled two racks of baby back ribs dressed in dry rub. I also whipped up some tzatziki dip for an appetizer, and the wife made a pasta salad and a chocolate cake for dessert. Everything was fantastic, with the exception of one of my friends who I invited over.

The poor guy was complaining that his back had been hurting since he woke up. As the evening went on while he was at our house, he was becoming more distraught with pain. By the time he was ready to leave, he could barely walk, so I told him I would drive him home and my wife would follow.

To get to his car was two small flights of stairs from inside our house to our driveway, and by the time I had pulled up in his car, he was in tears with pain and was really short of breath. Now, mind you, this guy rolls in BJJ 2-3 times a week, so is no schlump when it comes to pain. I called his folks while we were driving to tell them that he needed to go to the hospital, because something was wrong with him. They took him there as soon as I got him home.

I got a text from him in the early hours last night, and it was not his back that was the culprit... THREE blood clots in his lung. Apparently they had been there for some time, and migrated to another location in his lung which caused the shortness of breath, and the excruciating pain. He's on some anticoagulants and pain meds now, and is doing better.

 

It bothers me about as much as a squirrel getting hit by a car.

 

Someone that lived down the street from my neighborhood died under mysterious circumstances today, possibly via CO suicide in his car. Happy Monday?

 

The number of birds that are killed by windmills is a fraction of the number of critters that get plowed under crop fields.

 

I didn't think that was possible to do anymore with modern cars.

 

Hold on, hold on. Hotwheelz, did you just manipulate a girl with low self esteem into thinking that each of you hiring a hooker would be good for her and your relationship?

Imagine how many green dots that would have earned you on the RMMB.

 

I'm not as concerned about wildlife as this stupid wind farm obscuring the view of the ocean from my multi-million dollar home. Even though the turbines are miles off shore. More importantly, you peasant, think of the ramifications of wind energy on my oil and coal stocks.

Where were you between the hours of 10 and 2, HMM? Get your alibi in order.

 

BOOM! Guess who just dominated her last neuro practical exam ever? This bitch. I would celebrate by drinking immediately, but I'm working out as soon as I digest this snack.

 

Depends on the type killed, the species' relative position within that habitat, the percentage killed within their given populations, etc. And you know that although birds are highly mobile due to the whole flying thing, that certain bird species are suited for certain habitats, right? Like, that's why toucans aren't coming to your bird feeders, right?

And it doesn't count as wildlife Darwin's law if the obstacle is manmade.

 

There is a giant wind turbine field/farm/whatever about a half hour northwest of West Lafayette, IN off of I-65. Its absolutely haunting looking, especially when its overcast or around dusk. I can only imagine how insane that same sort of set up must look in the middle of the fucking ocean.

 

This, and this again.

Around here wind energy is nothing but a shitstorm since they put them here and there around here. Farmers don't like the "eyesores" in plain site, so suddenly they've started developing conditions diseases such as lack of sleep, occasional headaches, dizziness, and every other symptom you and I feel when we wake up hung over.... and blame them on vibrations coming off the blades of the turbines. In the medical field these conditions are know as "fake" or "completely full of shit".

I'm not directly involved in the debate around here so people can say what they want about them, but those Hampton-esque Brooks Brothers fagtrons complaining about them when they can't be seen without a telescope? Fuck you and your sweater vest. I hope your polo horse bucks you off and stomps your nuts with its manicured cloven feet.

This is the greatest comment ever made about wind farms that I have heard:

 

I have yet to hear a valid complaint about wind turbines. Anyone who thinks they're an eyesore needs to go live in a shitty third world country for a while. And the bird argument is retarded. I would understand if birds were attracted to the blades and there were huge piles of dead ones accumulating at the bottom of them, but that isn't happening.

 

One of my uncles has made god-knows-how-much money off of wind farms. Bought a Porsche recently, even. I suppose there's some irony in what is supposedly an environmentalist do-good initiative, supported with generous tax incentives by the government, resulting in a small number of people making stupid amounts of cash.

Where I lived in Germany had fucking tons of the things, though. You couldn't really hear them unless you were up close and very quiet, and they were mostly out in the middle of farmer's fields anyways. Certainly less noise than living near a major highway or an airport. Then again, you should have heard the fucking AWACS planes flying overhead. Oldschool four-engined Boeing 707s. Jesus Christ. I never heard much complaints voiced about the wind farms, but then again, you couldn't hear anything at all with one of those 707s in the sky.


Anyways, they're hardly eyesores. There's fuck all else to see.

 

It makes sense to me that a poor guy with a shitty old car committed suicide.