OH MY GOD I LOVE SCOTCH EGGS. *ahem* The whole hair touching/stranger touching thing makes no sense to me. I don't want to touch people I don't know and I don't want them to touch me. I don't even like TALKING to people I don't know without some kind of necessity. I can't imagine touching them.
A few years ago I was in Sheboygan, WI for work and having some dinner at a restaurant. A family walks in with a newborn baby. After about 10 minutes, a complete stranger asks to hold the baby. The mother doesn't bat an eye and hands it over. The stranger holds the baby for 35 minutes making weird baby noises and cuddling it and everyone seemed perfectly fine with it. Me and the guys I was with, all from the east coast, were completely weirded out by the whole thing. I can't imagine asking to hold a strangers baby for an extended, uncomfortable period of time around here or really anywhere. Absolutely bizarre.
Well if you would just sit in the back like we told you the first time, there wouldn't be anybody behind you, now would there?
When I was in college, I went in to the local Walmart - sunny when I walked in. By the time I was done shopping, it was pouring rain, just an absolute deluge. As I walked out and looked up at the now nasty weather, a mom was also walking out, with a shopping cart full and an infant in the carrier on top. Neither of us had an umbrella, and she was shaking out her keys and generally looking like wtf am I going to do. Me: "Wow, it is really coming down. Uh, can I go pull your car around for your or something?" Her: "Oh, no, no. Um, but can you stay here with her?" gesturing towards the cart and baby. Me: "Oooooohkay." And, she runs out to get her car, pulls it around. I helped her load the bags while she loaded the baby in. To this day, I am still amazed that she trusted me with her daughter, but not with her car.
You can sell a car, but not a baby. Well you can sell a baby, but its MUCH easier to sell a car. Cars are in higher demand than babies. I mean, there are billions of dollars dedicated to not having babies, but no one can accidentally have a car. If anyone has accidentally had a car, can you accidentally give me one?
I'm tempted to do this except my parents wouldn't know what was going on at all, and once they found out they would hunt me down like a wild animal.
Yeah, you're looking at it all wrong, Noland. Rich people can make their own white babies. You have to convince them it's a unique foreign baby; that's where the profit margin is.
This baby is from Norway, it will have blue eyes, blonde hair, but IS actually 1/25th Chinese/Japanese/Indian. Bids start at $300,000.
Problem is, is they have very particular taste. Transporting a live baby from an African shithole can kill your profit margins. They don't ship them wholesale like they did in olden days.
You just copied the exact first line off Niki Minaj's cover letter to talent agents when she was trying to break into the entertainment business.
I can make back to back posts because Nom can do it, and since we're both black, its cool. AND this video is hilarious. I love Louie C.K. but its funny to see a slight knock on him because he gets his knob slobbed on the daily.
<a class="postlink" href="http://textsfromsuperheroes.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://textsfromsuperheroes.com/</a> This is great. Nerdy humor is the best.