Things seem to go a lot better for me when people think I'm Italian, so I've decided that I'm Italian now. Continue giving me free coffee, baked goods, and pizza, and also wanting to set me up with your Italian grandsons, please. What do I ever get for being recognized as Eastern European? NOTHING. Oh, you gave me free sour cream for my pierogies instead of charging me $.75? GEE THANKS. Give me one moment to dig up the bones of my great grandmother that have been trampled into the ground and let her know that she starved to death under Stalin FOR NOTHING. Anyway. A gentleman with whom I occasionally participate in sexual activities was unexpectedly at the party I went to tonight, and it was a pleasant surprise. And, he was one of three people who have noticed the rather large change that I made to my hair last week, so I'm pretty sure that means we're going to get married? I dunno. Also, the aforementioned stupid bar also had a stupid line to get in. I can't stand waiting in line to get into a bar. I don't get it. There are a hundred other bars in walking distance - why do I need to wait to get into this one in order to buy overpriced drinks and stand around with boners pressed against my asscrack because you can't move an inch in any direction? I don't even know why I'm ranting so much as if I were angry, though. I actually had a perfectly fine night. Don't you worry.
You know it's not going to be fun wedding when it's a cash bar. It was the grooms 4th and brides 3rd marriage. I sat next to grooms father at the bar and he murmured, "Gee I wonder how long this one will last." Opened a tab, gave the bartender my card and walked away. 10 minutes later she marches over to where I was and claims she was looking for me for 10 minutes, hands me my card, and I tell her I wanted a tab. She says "I know," and walks away. I put at least 4 rounds of drinks for a few people on my card by telling her my name and when I went to close it out the total was $7.44. Whatever, nice job idiot. The ring bearer hit his head under a table and had to be taken to the hospital for stitches.
You might want to have your husband tested for clinical depression. Once you've given up on booty shorts, you've pretty much given up on life.
Ever see a library with it's own slide? I need this to cheer me up this morning. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.123inspiration.com/wooden-slide-built-into-a-library-by-moon-hoon/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.123inspiration.com/wooden-sl ... moon-hoon/</a> Spoiler My only complaint is the slide isn't long enough.
Oh, CJ. How many times do I have to say it? It's not the length that matters. It's girth! I don't know why I'm awake. I drank my face off last night thanks to some fun friends. One of them tried to drive home drunk so boyfriend and I ended up babysitting instead of going home to have birthday sex part II. I am so gonna guilt trip her when she wakes up.
Truth. Happyfunball, there is a thread in the permanent section where we would all love to see pictures of those booty shorts being modeled...
Come on you guys, he was tired, he did yard work and stuff. After all, I'm in my sexual prime, you guys are the ones that get old and decrepit. The ladies on the board have that to look forward to, you guys are going to have to worry about getting it up (my husband doesn't have that problem). No pressure. Booty thread--I think my husband would flip. Something like I don't want to see it and I don't want anyone else to either? That's how it goes right? I'm busting his balls a bit. Our sex life is a-ok. Audrey--your post reminds me of an SNL skit with Eddie Murphy where he dressed up white for the day and everywhere he goes people give him free stuff. Seriously, you get free stuff because people think you're Italian???
Most of the perks come from eldery Italians who treat me like I'm their granddaughter. And I've discovered that there's pretty much nothing better that being an Italian granddaughter. The downsides usually come from drunken creepos following me down the street yelling 'HEY. WHAT ETHNICITY ARE YOU? ITALIAN? I LOVE ITALIAN GIRLS COME BACK HERE I WANT TO TALK TO YOU."
Why do they think you're Italian? Talking with lots of arm movements? Do they even have Italian men in New York City? I thought they were stampeded into NJ and Long Island where they can all admire each other's biceps I peace.
Kingdom of Heaven Review: Legolas is a peaceful blacksmith in Craster's village until Qui-Gon-Jinn shows up to tell him he's his illegitimate son and offers him a chance to journey to the Holy Land with Lucius Vorenus and become a soldier in King Tyler Durden's army. Craster sends his son Jaime Lannister to take him back because he murdered Brian Clough, but Remus Lupin saves Legolas's life. Qui Gon-Jinn kills Jaime Lannister, but then he dies. Legolas journeys to the Holy Land, makes enemies of Yorgi and Mad-Eye Moody, has sex with Vesper Lynd even though she's married to Yorgi and becomes buddies with Scar and King Tyler Durden before King Tyler Durden dies of AIDS and Legolas has to defend Helm's Deep against Al Qaeda. (I feel like there's the potential for a seriously funny thread in this)
Ah yes, the grandchildren of people who immigrated from Italy several decades ago. A club with esteemed membership, to be sure (after all, I'm a member) but in your part of the world, things get a bit different. Secondarily, perhaps being offered a date with a young gentleman of Italian grandparentage might be a good thing, being offered the same with a young lady with the same qualities is almost certainly not. Especially if your senile, elderly aunts (all of whom are named Maria) can't tell the difference between Eastern European Jewish genes and Italian genes.
My girlfriend is 1st generation American, both parents emigrated from Italy. I like to conjur up a little 1920s racism by telling her shes Sicilian and therefore "not a real Italian."
My friend talks a lot about the Thai Discount or Thai managers/owners moving her to the front of a long line after she says "hello" in Thai. It sounds so glamorous and fun. The Pasty White Girl Discount is kinda boring in comparison.
I guess that's more tactful then quoting True Romance. Edit: Shouldn't have taken my time finding a link.
Oh, please. Moors aren't black. They're not even quite Arab, strictly speaking. They're the Sicilians of the Arab world.