Oh, come on now. The vast majority of people have aggressively fucked Crown's mom, and there's no need to rub in the fact that this also includes 13 year olds.
Except... there is no scenario where you must drink 20 of something. I'd rather drink 10 of something that has twice as much alcohol and tastes ten times as good..
I hear that woman is playing Sarlac in the new Star Wars trilogy. How watered down do society's genes that they actually want to pay attention to and make celebrities out these grotesque backwater cretins?
I watched a little bit of the interview, and I felt bad for the dude/dudette. To wait until you're 65 to do something about it, and having struggled with it for so long, seems like a rough thing. I'm guessing 'landing strip.'
Well, my turntable came in. I guess I can't really object when someone calls me a hipster. On the plus side, my typewriter now has a friend. Spoiler: Caution! May cause skinny jeans
Drunk me came up with the goods last night. I just remembered I bought a chicken chili wrap and another sandwich of some sort last night and had the foresight not to eat the wrap. I call that a win.
Between the ages of birth and 32 I did cocaine a grand total of once. In the past few months I have been offered blow 4 or 5 times. Which is why I am speaking to you here today, now, at 5 a.m. I gotta admit, I like it. My goals are thus forth: snort coke off some tits, off a hipbone (preferably female, but we can negotiate), and blow coke into a girl's butthole ala Wolf of Wallstreet. Every bucket list goal I have is either hazardous or fundamentally retarded. I could give a shit about seeing the pyramids. Fuck Chinese pandas. The Grand Canyon is a lame hole in the ground. The Eiffel Tower looks like a steel cock. I want to do blow with my girlfriend off a hooker in Tokyo. I want to bear hug a manatee and punch a dolphin in the face for being stuck up. I want to eat a cheesesteak in front of Michael Moore when he's been starved by The Illuminati for a week. Let's get naked and eat an endangered species. Admit it, people. You like the filth too. Let's share. We all know each other well enough, so we can get silly. Admit one of your stankest fantasies.
So, our horrible upstairs neighbors are having a party on Sunday night again, so instead of sleeping (since that is not currently an option), boyfriend and I are plotting revenge. We were going to go down into the scary basement to flip the circuit for their apartment off, but they would probably notice it wasn't just tripped. Current plan is to wake them up with dub step tomorrow morning when everyone else is awake and they clearly aren't yet. But we are open to suggestions. Murder, while tempting, seems unwise, and I don't think it's loud enough outside the building for the cops to care. The obvious, asking them to be quiet, has not worked up to this point, so we are looking for alternate methods. Also, in case you haven't seen this:
Fill a big manilla envelope with shaving cream. Tuck the open end of the envelope under the door of their apartment. Drop insanely large and heavy book flat on the envelope. Their apartment is instantly filled with atomized shaving cream. Run like hell.
After a thorough inspection of the bathroom closet, it appears that we do not own shaving cream. (I feel like this requires explanation, I just use soap and Boyfriend has had a beard since before we moved last)
Available at any corner store that's open 24 hrs. Well worth the hike to go get some. If you really want to be a cunt, get mentholated or scented shaving cream. The best part is that if they try to wipe it up right away, it smears and goes everywhere... the trick is to let it dry into a powder and then it can be easily wiped/swept/vacuumed up.
That would require me to get out of bed and put pants on and drive somewhere, which seems like a lot of work right now. Plus they're not moving out until August and starting a prank war is something I haven't done in a number of years...
Get a butane lighter and burn pinholes in the fenders of their cars. It'll take a little while, but those fenders will rust off.
We can suggest all sorts of retaliation ideas, from mildly annoying to life-threatening if you'd like to get in a war with them. If you really want it to stop though, call the police. Call them every time it happens, and keep track of it in a notebook. Since you've already talked to the neighbors, they just don't care and you have to take care of it through the legal system. It doesn't matter how loud it is outside the building. The only thing that matters is that what they're doing is disturbing you, especially when you're trying to sleep. Get the police to your apartment first so they can hear how loud it is, then send them to the neighbors. You might also spend $200 on having a lawyer send them a letter telling them if it keeps happening they'll be sued for damages and legal fees. That scares a lot of people so it might work. The minute you do something juvenile in retaliation you lose your credibility. I live in the country and a few years ago we had new neighbors move in who built a rifle range. The husband is on "disability" and had plenty of time to shoot at all hours of the day. My wife teaches our kids at home so gunshots, that can be heard from 1000 ft. away inside our brick house with the windows closed and the A/C running, are a problem. We talked to the neighbor first and got no results so we called the police, who told us since it's legal there's nothing they can do. I researched and found the noise ordinance in our county and talked to the police chief and county commissioners. He was finally cited for noise violations, and in court the thing that carried the most weight with the judge was the number of calls to the police, showing that it was a frequent problem. You have to be your own advocate in situations like this because many public servants are lazy and just want to be left alone. If you're a pleasant but persistent pain in the ass, they will do whatever they can to be done with you. Look up the noise ordinance in your jurisdiction and keep a printed copy of it to show to the police. Trust me, the police have no idea what the law says unless they have a particular interest in it, like writing a speeding ticket, and if you can empower them by pointing out what they can do under the law, they're much more likely to do what you need. If you do want to go the juvenile route, get a small garden sprayer from Home Depot. Get some of this skunk scent, pour it in the sprayer, fill with water, and stick the nozzle under their door and spray inside their apartment. Put the nozzle on the stream setting (practice first with plain water outside) so it will go far into their apartment. They shouldn't be able to live there for about a week or more after that. Good luck!