4/25/14 WDT NSFW

I'll have you know that my Haikus have gotten rave reviews from my mother! I say good day sir! Good. Day.

 

Random NBA question: Does it count as a rebound if the person in question grabs it off a missed free throw shot?

 

I'm glad you're back, Wheelz. And that ain't no cry for attention.

 

I think I failed my own experiment if only because I fucked up the timeline. I've had 4 drinks over 3 hours.

The fidelity of any program is always important.

So my sister and her husband always go to bed at 9:00pm, despite the fact that neither is retied or over 40. Because of this, Rocky, the dog I'm dog-sitting, was passed out at 10:00 and is just flat out annoyed with me right now because I'm still awake.

Who the fuck goes to sleep at nine assuming they have a 9-5? Its insane really. I'm sure he's going to repay the favor by waking me up at 5:30.

 

Ah, May Day: the day where The Great Unclean Ones take to the streets to express their virulent hatred for the very systems they mooch from.

 

Well, I do, but I'm over 40 and I wake up ridiculously early even when I don't have to.

The more important question is this: do 9-5 jobs even exist anymore?

 

Look, toddamus. We've had this conversation before. You are not supposed to use 40 as your "old fart" cutoff. I believe we decided on 50. And when I hit 50 (years and years away), we will then change it to 60. I'll also have you know I never go to bed before midnight. Bucking the trend!

Dammit Noland. Stop giving us a bad name! It's the internet, lie and say you stay up until 9:30 at least. It's not like they can check.

 

I think tossing your cookies ruins the experiment. You have to try again.

 

I think Noland just wants to get you drunk so you'll show him your knickers.

 

Why would Noland want to see her overly long undergarments? Is this a fetish Noland?

And while searching for a picture of knickers, I found this. I have no idea why this came up under that search. I'm spoilering it, so that should tell you something.

Spoiler

I like to think it's photoshopped.

 

To be fair this statement applies to all of the TiBettes.

 

I think only having 5 drinks ruins it. Perhaps I am just a seasoned veteran (and fat), but it takes a good 15-20 drinks for me to get a hangover. By hangover I mean physically ill. I've never had the issue with a headache. It makes me feel like I have the flu. I run a fever and poop a lot.

I find it really funny when they talk about binge drinking on TV, and it mentions 5 drinks in a sitting. And then I think that I have done that 5 times in a day before. I only get around to drinking more than a couple of beers once every month or two now. If I had kept up at that pace I would be dead.

Also, I wish I could go to bed at 9pm. I love getting up early in the morning and exercising, then cooking some breakfast before starting my day. Unfortunately my schedule doesn't always allow it.

 

Ok, I'll stop saying people over 40, I'll start saying people over 95.

As for Bewildered, she definitely violated one of the assumptions of the experiment. No puking was implied. She may have to repeat the experiment. Next time we'll have to make better rules.

 

I'll be 41 this month and I still have not matured enough that I will go to bed at a decent hour and get a good night's sleep. I am a night owl and would not be surprised if I hit 80 and still won't go to bed early. Of course by then it won't matter, I can sleep whenever I damn want.

 

Thank you. Those 95-year-olds ARE gross and in bed by 9. With Noland. Kinky.

I've always been like this as well. As are my kids. When I was younger we lived in a house that we rented from a church and we lost power. So the priest offered us kids a place to stay at his house (cue the jokes). We thought it would be this awesome adventure. It wasn't. It sucked. He made us go to bed around 9 and we had to sleep on the floor in the basement. At least it was finished.

And this has nothing to do with anything except I remembered it because it happened in front of the priest's house. One time I was walking down the street from my friend's house and I had my hands in my jeans' pockets (doesn't everyone walk that way?). I stepped off the curb and tripped and I couldn't catch myself because my hands were in my pockets so I landed on my face. I walked around with this awesome scab on my nose for weeks. And because my brother was awful at the time, he kept asking me why I had peanut butter on my nose and if I was saving it for later. Good times.

Edit: I just remembered how my sister and I got back at him once. At one time, he decided he was going to be a bodybuilder. And they needed tans. They didn't have self-tanner like they do today really, so he decided he was going to lay out. So he fell asleep in the sun, but he had his arms crossed over his chest, like a big X. We didn't wake him up. We laughed and laughed. And had to run to our room to hide our laughter when he came in with this big white X on his chest, all confused.

 

I've learned to pace myself in the last few years, because something new to me started happening when power-drinking: blackouts. Having your brain take a four-hour power nap while the rest of you did god only knows can be a scary thing.

So, I rarely power drink anymore. With good reason, I have a lot more to lose in life these days. Sooner or later comes the realization of the Invincible Demographic (18-35 years old) that not only are you not invincible, but are actually in far worse shape by trying to prove just that.

 

I have the best job ever. I work on a housing first team, and our clients are people with a history of homelessness, mental illness, and drug addictions. One of our clients owns a bear skin rug complete with head and greeted a team member at his door wearing it draped around him while saying 'C'MERE AN GIMME A BEAR HUG!' What does it say about me that I now want to go buy a bear skin so I can do it too?