That's a possibility. Many beekeepers are more than happy to raise another colony. These guys show up, simply locate the queen and grab her, and all the drones follow. One time back in the 1980's during an MLB game the home plate was covered by a nomad colony. A beekeeper came in, grabbed the queen and the entire swarm followed him off the field. It's crazy how connected those creatures are.
One chick in the room, and a bunch of dudes give her all their attention, follow her around, and wait for her to tell them what to do. Yeah, totally unique to bees.
Meanwhile, she's just sitting there. Filing her nails, rolling her eyes and wondering how she can have over 23,000 boyfriends and every one of them are mindless cis losers who are constantly telling her to smile.
My wife has been especially preggo bitchy lately so time for a bit of revenge. Her latest pregnancy cravings have been for Julio's chips, yet about a week ago she mistakenly got the burning hot version that tastes like lava. Of course, I saved the bag, and decided to toss a few of those chips into her new bag of regular julios. She's about to get home from work, where she had to drive to a different city. Completely fucking exhausted. She's gonna want nothing more than to relax on the couch with cold some lemonade, the bag of julios chips and watch real housewives. She won't have any clue this is coming. And the best part is, the little parasite growing inside her LOVES spicy food and gets all active so he's gonna be wound for sound right when she's trying to take a nap. I say there's a 50/50 chance she kills me this evening. That's what she gets for putting dog shit in my boots a few days ago.
You could save yourself a lot of trouble simply by hiring some skinheads. They know how to take care of a bitchy pregnant so-and-so. Food-Roofies for a pregnant wife. You truly are a fucking loon.
You guys are made for each other. If anyone put dog shit in my boots I'd be livid and likely never acknowledge their existence again.
At this point I'm beginning to wonder if all of these "pranks" his wife pulls on him are actually just things he does to himself while concussed and she's just taking the blame because she feels bad about his very apparent brain damage.
And that's assuming she's really his wife and not actually some frazzled nurse who's taking care of him.
Or perhaps a fantasized high school crush he's still obsessed with, often driving by her and her family's home at night wearing the cheerleader outfit he stole off her clothesline years ago but hey, that's.....just love.
I just read this article and of course it reminded me of this weird ass place. Growing Old in New York's Snarkiest Early-Internet Community: Members of Echo, an old-fashioned web forum, have been sneering together long enough to make it into retirement
Well, this is an interesting trainwreck: https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/68w3ov/i_think_im_married_to_an_informant/
The campground where I volunteer during the summers got flooded last week. A lot of sites were under water and half of the roads were closed in various places. The water has come back down about 4 feet and only about 7 sites are still under water, most roads are dry now. This place is an absolute wreck. Debris everywhere, limbs, logs, trash. Picnic tables, site borders floated inland. Here is my list of tools and equipment... -A 1995 ez-go golf cart, mine, not provided the USACE. -A shovel -A rake -A 5 gallon bucket -Loppers -Rope, mine, not provided by USACE. With that, it all looks very overwhelming. Like having a knife in a gunfight. Edit: The Corp just sent some fucko with a backpack leafblower. Progress...
Paging AudreyMonroe . . . In tonight's episode of Brockmire, Jim accidentally snorts ground up RU-486. Did you ever get that phone call at PP? "Hey, yeah, so I'm a dude and I just ingested an abortion pill. Is my penis going to fall off?" In unrelated news, I don't really have a topical reason to share this other than I thought it was a picture worth sharing: Spoiler: NSFW
That sort of response will never get you into writing for TV comedies. Protip: penis falling off is funnier than low blood pressure. Avoid facts when possible.
My brain immediately imagined Audrey on the phone with some dude doing this: And just going "Oh man, you're fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked!"
One time I wrote a spec script for Broad City that was about when their episode about Abbi pegging Jeremy aired immediately after I learned via his girlfriend that my coworker, who was the one other person I knew who watched the show at the time, insisted that his girlfriend peg him, and I was very anxious because I wasn't sure if I could discuss the episode with him without inadvertently revealing that I knew he was into being pegged but I was ALSO afraid that if this was the one week where I DIDNT discuss the episode wth him that he would know that I know. I sent it to someone peripherally involved with the show in the hopes that it would get to Abbi and Ilana. I never heard back but obviously the only possible explanation is that they never read it. If they did, CLEARLY we would be best friends and I'd be a staff writer by now.