I wish! Hold up, what's legal in PA? That's the age I wish. I actually made a joke about myself having an erection. The (female) nurse was helping me get dressed and with all the medical stuff that's how it looked. "hey looks like I have an erection. Two actually." I was high. What can I say. No filter. Well, it would give me something to play with whenever I wanted. Why didn't I think of that? Damn. You couldn't have suggested this earlier? Hernia.
What are you guys doing this spring thats any interesting? I'm going to do my kickball thing again. I know its hipster and douchey and stupid, but dammit, its fun. And really, its something different. So I got my jorts for Friday (seriously I bought jorts from Wal-Mart, $8.99, I couldn't pass up that deal!), because the theme is arrested development, which I know nothing about but apparently some guy wears jean shorts and blues himself. Should be a good time. I don't think I've worn jean shorts since I was in 5th grade in semi-rural Michigan.
I love the word jorts. And are they cutoffs? They need to be cutoffs to truly represent Arrested Development.
Yea they aren't cutoffs, pretty sure no one wants see me in super short jorts. I'm pretty happy with my Wal Mart specials as they are.
Nothing interesting this spring. I am basking in the fact that I don't have to shlep my kid to soccer this season. She is taking a tap class on Saturday mornings that would conflict with most games. It's not so much the shlepping that I hate, it is the sitting outside for an hour or two twice a week in March and April when Virginia weather is being schitzo. Once we get into May it isn't too bad, but that first month and a half is brutal. Ditto in the fall - Sept and early Oct are okay, but late Oct into Nov and I want to slit my wrists.
I'm running a 5K with my girlfriend in a couple of weeks and maybe more this summer depending on how it goes, otherwise now is the time of year where I start to gear up for rifle matches and hunting/fishing trips. I'm going to shoot in a national level match for the first time over Labor Day weekend so I have that to plan for too.
I am planning on volunteering my time this summer. I'm torn between doing something that I know I'd love (animal shelter) and something that would benefit me professionally. The only professional volunteering that I can imagine would be to help a professor with research or fieldwork, but I am not sure how to start that conversation. I am also trying to get in on the environmental studies center, but I think they are capped out on volunteers. They have structured work days for people who want to come help. I suppose I gotta do that first to show that it's worth their time to take me on.
Um, you already have two things to play with, whenever you want. Isn't that Steve Martin's line from LA Story? "I could never be a woman, because I'd just play with my boobs all day." or something like that? Yesterday, I was at an indoor pool / fitness center thing, where they had large locker rooms / showers. There was a sign in the Men's room that read "PLEASE DO NOT DYE YOUR HAIR IN THE SHOWERS OR SINKS THANK YOU" That happens enough in the men's room that they needed a sign? And, they needed to specify not doing it in the shower or the sink? I must not go to enough locker rooms anymore. Is this a common problem?
I think I'd rather have that than the signs asking guys in the dorm not to pee and jack off in the showers. It's ridiculous, they never understood my personal needs. A few people here love leaving their little "PLEASE _____" notes around the office, especially in the break room. Sometimes "Minnesota Nice" is another way of saying "Beyond Passive Aggressive."
I have a minimum of 3 hours in which to fuck the dog today while at my desk getting paid a union wage, and I'm bored of all my usual sites/blogs, because I have been doing this all week. Recommendations?
Dear bubbly client from Boca Raton: One exclamation point in an email is acceptable, although not usually required. Two is excessive. SEVEN is just out of control. Add in four smilies and I'm seriously wondering if you're medicated. Seriously. I get that you're happy, but this is getting out of hand.
Piss in the coffee pot, blame it on a temp and then throw nickels at their feet while theyre being escorted out if the building. They're not even real people anyway.
What are you talking about spring plans? I'm already doing it. #YOLO, honkies. I brewed a batch of beer yesterday. Went really well, hardly any mess this time. Usually my kitchen looks like an explosion of cereals. I'd find barley weeks later, stuck to appliances. My friend the chemist came by to help. We really want to get to work on some good beer and try our hands at rum. We don't really have a good microbrewery in this town, but it's partly because our water is barely drinkable. Liquid limestone does not make a nice lager. But a micro-distillery? In South Florida? Holy shit you'd clean up. If anyone wants to get in on the ground floor make your checks payable to cash. Going kayaking down the Loxahatchee River this weekend. Why, yes, alligators do live in those waters. Adventure! Christ, what a hangover. We drank all day yesterday while brewing, then continued drinking at the German bar. We also forgot to eat. I have to stop drinking Hoegarden. Every time, the next day, that shit skull fucks me. I also found a 6 inch long grey hair on my thigh. Also: Rats eat a brand new house from the inside out. I love people that keep rats as pets. At least the cat waits until you're dead to eat you. Rats wait until you fall asleep. If you're lucky. Oh, here's onesomeone found behind their fucking dishwasher. 3 FEET. Spoiler
Is the text some goofy font and bright blue color too? Massive email signature 10x bigger than the message itself? CJ, man, you need to move up here or at least visit. Taprooms and breweries galore in this neighborhood alone, it is a beer drinker's wet dream.