"I was told that some of you dudes don't know anything about blues. I came to swap something with you. I imagine quite a few of you dudes have the blues already."
My 11 month old is finally understanding what a curfew is. He's now fast asleep. Thank god. This beer and popcorn goes great with reality tv.
Obviously not... I mean, what part of "my 11 month old is finally understanding what a curfew is" did you not understand?
Good to know my sister is just being normal. My father really is an exceptional man, and defintely worthy of his granddaughter being named after him. I've been awake since 5, just got done with my second job, and I need to be awake by 5 again tomorrow. Thank Jesus for beer and NHL network
I love you guys. I love wine. I love that my kids are in bed. I love that I'm on vacation next week. I love that my birthday is a week and a half away. Who even cares about birthdays anymore? I'm getting old you guys. I had to use google to find out what "turn down for what" means.
I'm currently sitting outside a craft beer bar at the mall waiting on it to open for a Founders event. KBS, CBS, Blushing Monk and Backwoods Bastard on tap. Ive been here for an hour. They open at 7am. I could not be more excited. This must be what black friday feels like for women. Then I'm heading home for floppy hats mint juleps in sexy time. I think my wife may wear nothing but a floppy hat. This Derby day will be amazing!
I am from and live in BB King's hometown. I've grown up watching him once a year at his homecoming festival and it is always a blast. The decline of his health has been coming for a long time. He's also not the great guy everyone thinks he is. He does play the hell out of Lucille though.
Once again, because of where I live, I'm missing out on gambling on the Derby. I'll put down my superfecta picks here, if I'm right there'll be a huge rant posted later. 1 Carpet Diem 2 American Pharaoh 3 Firing Line 4 Dortmund
The only thing about the derby which concerns me is the proper time to start drinking mint juleps. Shit, I need to go get some cracked ice somewhere. My ice maker died. This is the worst thing that could happen to anyone anywhere. And if anyone is curious how to make a julep that won't rot your teeth out of your skull instantly: 2.5 ounces Bourbon 2 sugar cubes 8 mint leaves Splash seltzer water Muddle the sugar in the water. Add the mint and muddle the mint into the sugar. Pour over the bourbon. Drop enough crushed ice on top to chill it, stirring, until the glass is cold, then drop more crushed ice on top so it pokes over the glass. Insert straw.
Cleaning up from a party I had at my house last night and I have found one large joint and a bag of weed along with some carmels made from weed. Put a little tequila in a pot head and the lose their way.
The in laws are the only ones available to come over for our lame dos de mayo party, so I'll be forced to drink mediocre Mexican beer and eat plantain chips until I vomit off the deck while they watch in dismay. I'm going to have fun if it kills me, and everyone within a 3 block radius.
Robert Flores, shut your stupid, vomit mouth, quit with the political babbling, and just read the damn sports. You're ruining fucking SportsCenter. I want highlights, not your moronic opinions and social commentary.
Fuck me. A girl from work asked me out yesterday. Not out for drinks or a movie...nope..."Let's go on a road trip!" 4 states away. For a whole weekend. She's cute and fun, but I know better then to get involved with a co-worker....I made that mistake when I was 21. How the fuck do I bow out of this invitation gracefully?
Stop using Siri in public, douchebag. Just type some shit. And stop talking like that to it in that stupid stilted voice, this is why black comedians still make fun of us.
Turns out you can get drunk on Tito's grapefruit vodka and still wake up bright and early sans hangover. I like it! Makes me feel responsible and shit.