Engaging in behavior your wife has prohibited? Check. Enjoying that behavior? Check. Feeling shame and guilt about enjoying something not involving wife? Check. Getting creative about continuing that behavior? Check. Doubling down on the subterfuge by acting as if you had not engaged in the behavior? Check. I rarely say this, but you, my friend, are about as ready for marriage as anyone I've ever met. Congrats! It only gets more shameful and subterfugey (I made that word up, fuck off) from here on out!
I can. First of all, DON'T use an actual beer can, or any can for that matter. It's not the can that causes the meat to retain it's juiciness. The liquid in the can never gets hot enough to "steam" into the bird, and can actually increase your chance of developing salmonella if you don't cook the bird thoroughly. It's all based on the vertical roasting you're doing that creates an upward flowing air chamber that creates a convection-like heating from both the inside and outside which allows the meat to cook evenly throughout. Get yourself one of these roasting stands and you'll be fine. Now, if you really want to ensure that you'll have a nice juicy bird, more than anything you can do to help that is to make sure you brine your bird beforehand. Regardless of what type of poultry you're cooking, a good brine is going to be far and away much more beneficial to you than your particular method of preparation. Now what you put into your particular brine is entirely up to you, but it can help impart a particular flavor profile if you're looking for something specific.
I used a thermometer and I was well within the safe temperature range. And I did it over a charcoal grill so it tasted lovely. I like brining chicken...sort of. It makes it more juicy definitely. But it gives the meat a kind of hot cold-cut texture. It doesn't feel like I'm eating chicken because the meat feels different.
I'm not saying that you did it wrong, just that it's actually more detrimental to use an actual can inside the cavity of the bird as opposed to a vertical roaster. This site here explains in much more detail around the point I'm trying to make.
I've cooked a bunch of beer can birds and I think this is very true... you can easily have a chicken that looks fantastic and fully cooked on the outside, but the inside can take FOREVER sometimes. They are still delicious but if you don't cook 'em without a thermometer, you're asking for trouble. I haven't yet tried just roasting a bird vertically on the grill sans can, not sure why too... time to change that.
I too have cooked a ton of beer can birds and they turn out a perfect 165 degrees every time. I hate to change something that works so well. Spoiler Don't know if it makes a difference but I never use a full beer and I always cut the top off.
Just be aware that most beer cans are lined with plastic. I have a stainless steel vertical roaster with a "liquid holder thingy" in it. Beer, white wine, lemon juice, rosemary and water, it's ALL good.
My sister went into the hospital today to give birth. Her husband went with her...to be admitted because his appendix decided to give him the finger and get all infected and shit. I agreed last week to care for the other 3 kids so no big deal there. Except apparently I was not physically ready for the last 8 hours of fun. I am fucking beat. How does my sister do this all day and have the energy to run a small design business and renovate her home?! I still have many hours to go. Sister also emailed us all a hospital selfie of her and her husband in the hospital bed together. How's that for romantic.
Eight legged lover I'm a few episodes behind on Fargo. I just watched the one last night where the cop lady meets one of her girlfriends for lunch, and the girlfriend shares a story about a guy she met online. Seems the friend went to Acapulco (Aruba? I can't remember) with the guy, who got bit on the neck by a spider while they were there. Sometime later, they were bumping uglies and all these little baby spiders came out of the bite hole. Cop lady sums up the story later on: So there's that then, dontcha know.
I convinced a girl at work that the big enflamed pimple on her jawline was spiders and that she needed to see a doctor asap. I'm not a bitch I promise.
Bot flies have ushered in an AIDS-like fear of insects to this era. Every single bug bite means maggots are going to burst out of you like the climax of Creepshow.
Dear Facebook religious fanatic acquaintance, I'm sorry your brother died tragically 3 months ago. All your FB posts about it were supported by us and we feel for you. But these open letters you keep posting to him on status updates is past old. It's past grieving and straight into attention whore status. Please believe me 100% when I unfriend you because it isn't me, it's you.
It's not your fault if she's stupid enough to believe that. If she goes to see a doctor you should be proud of yourself.
I thought we were done talking about this? Now I'm thinking of my nemeses again. Barf. Fine, I'm posting this one more time. You don't know my pain finding this. The images I had to look at.
I have something even worse than that. I was just on hold for like 8 minutes and I swear to god I had to listen to fucking Nickelback for what seemed like THE ENTIRE HOLD TIME. Now my ears are bleeding and I have a headache. Thanks Chad.
Maybe there's just spiders in your ears. Might want to get that checked out before little tiny babies coming pouring out of your face from all orifices. I'm sure you're right though, it's probably just the music.
USA gave us Brokencyde and Design The Skyline. Don't forget that music maestro John Tesh. Lets not forget our neighbours they deserve street cred where it's earned .