Is it just me or do hipster bars have the best food? Or maybe it's because they choose to put bacon on everything. Case in point, the bloody mary I had a couple of months ago at bar in south Seattle. They do rotating brunch menus, so naturally, my wife and I go every weekend.
That looks revolting. Bacon is the last refuge of the culinarily desperate. "I don't know what or how to cook, but if I put bacon on it it'll taste like bacon and people will eat it." It's lazy and shows a complete lack of imagination.
Color me 'unimaginative' then! If I could put bacon on pussy, I would. Unfortunately, I'm fresh out of both.
That looks like a bacon and egg drink, not sure how that could be bad. But I also don't have the most refined palates either. Live a little old man. Also:
I recommend letting it cool first though, hot greasy bacon on a pussy probably wouldn't feel great to the lady in question.
Well interesting thing happened last night. I was on my couch, minding my own business playing Call of Duty. The weather just got nice in Chicago, so I had my windows open, and the blinds open as I was letting the sunlight in. My building looks into another building and there is this girl with a really nice body across from me. I noticed her mainly because with both of our windows open, and about 8-10 feet between our windows, she was talking loud enough to be heard over my speakers and the explosions/gunfire of the game. When I actually started looking over thinking "Damn this bitch is loud," I noticed she was in nothing but a towel and laying on her bed, head close to me, legs pointing away, was her hand moving rather casually between her legs. Now as I mentioned before is she was loud and I could hear her conversation. She wasn't talking sexually, and it sounded like she was talking to a female friend about stupid shit at work. Now she wasn't ever moaning and getting into it, but she her hand was down there for awhile, occasionally coming up to scratch a leg. She later went to put panties on, ditched the towel, and went back to laying on her bed, still on the phone. What's weird is that she inched the panties down past her ass in the back, but it only seemed for the purpose of scratching for a few minutes, but never pulled them back up. Then she had her back pointed directly into my living room, with her ass sticking out the for a majority of the night. She'd kept her conversation going with occasional palming of her ass and scratching, but it never turned into a porno. I mean I still beat off anyway, but that's besides the point. Do girls just do this in private? Just randomly play with themselves and get naked while having casual conversation on the phone? Do people in general do this? Also, this girl did wake me up at before at like 2:30 forcing some guy to eat her out for 30 minutes and fuck her another 45.
If I didn't need two hands the majority of my day, my right one wouldn't ever leave my general crotch area. So to answer your question, yes, people do this.
But would you have your dick on your hand while talking on the phone with one of your guy friends shooting the shit? That's the question.
I may or may not have my dick in my hand as I type this. Like a choose your adventure book, I'll let you decide
I cradle my balls out of boredom, so yes, sort of. If I could hire someone to do this for me, I would. How the royals don't have an official Ball Cradler position is a waste of their position and means. Pathetic. Their weakness makes me sick. It's also so quaint you think people talk on the phone anymore. How 2008. No, what's weird is jacking off or taking a shit with your friends on the phone. Juice.
Sometimes I get fidgety, and I've been known to fidget down there if I don't happen to have underwear on and I'm lying in bed watching TV or on the internet. Nothing sexual, I could just as easily be picking at my toenails. I guess like others have said, maybe I reached down there to scratch and my hand just stayed there. Of course, there's no way in hell I'd be doing anything so personal with a window open and a dude playing video games right in my line of sight.
The morning of my circumcision I was walking to the pre-op room after talking to the anesthesiologist the the urologist who was going to perform the procedure mentioned that there were going to be students present for training purposes. I literally stopped right in my tracks and refused to proceed further until my urologist reassured me that none of them were going to be touching me and that he was the only one that was going to be fixing my junk. But for a moment there I had never been so frightened in my entire life.
Yes, I made a conscious choice not to answer. Who knows what my new title would be. I'll lay low for a while. Well, for as long as I can. Sometimes it's hard holding back. See, I was going to end that sentence on hard. But I knew better. And really, like someone before me said, who talks on phones anymore?
While this is always entertaining, I'm waiting for a drunk night of Angel, Happy, and Bewildered posting and responding to one another. It would be sweet to see Jenatalia come out of retirement and join in. That would be the best true drunk thread ever.