This weekend can eat a dick. I don't know what the fuck was going on, but all I seemed to do was clean up animal accidents all goddamn weekend. Poor career choices have been made on my part.
A few years ago my dad's truck was stolen. A week later it was found abandoned in Laredo with a trash bag full of dead cats in the back. What the fuck? That's something that happens in Florida. What did this guy do? Steal a truck and go on a cat killing spree to feed his 12 kids?
I had no idea until just now that the States doesn't have ketchup-flavoured potato chips. That must be weird to them like much like our at-home treasures like Clamato, poutine, and the Calgary Red-Eye (it isn't a sex move). Off topic, look at this fucking shit:
Husband bought lavender-scented toilet paper to save about $1.99. "Hmm...my wife has sensitive skin. I know! I'll buy this shit for her to use on her most sensitive area. It's on sale!!!!! It'll be great!"
We did have them for a few months last year. Lays pushed them pretty hard, but nobody bought them because they are gross.
Yes. 2 I see quite regularly. 2 more that I'll have to save the joke for. I guess it's a US thing, but I thought it was Irish, or something. Although, they are all under 30.
Quebec and Florida should get married and go live on a different planet together. The lack of accountability it takes to blame your smoking habit on anybody by yourself in unbeknownst to me. You smoked, it's your fault, the end.
My wife was squawking about buying a brand new car for 40-50k, I told her I would divorce her if she did, she found this one today that is a 2011 with 31,000 miles on it and she said she liked it and wanted it so I gave the guy 17k for it. Was I just jedi mind tricked by my wife?
One of these days I'm going to finish a 2-liter bottle of club soda before it goes flat. Today was not that day.
Jesus. I tweet one fucking video of some unheard of artist who follows me (And is in a genre I could give half a fuck about, but it was kind of catchy in my half drunk state) and my account is deluged with idiots asking for shout outs and retweets. Go away. I don't care about saving gay ducks, society, or whatever the fuck your cause is. I hate you and your whole family.