It has been one of those days where something just...isn't...right. My already short fuse regularly has been non existent - so my tolerance for stupidity is pretty much gone. The manager of a gas station tested that today when their machine failed to read my card, wouldn't read my card, but still put a large sum hold in my card. I can't USE my card, but you motherfuckers are going to hold money out of my account for a transaction that never happened, AND you're going to tell me how much money is in my account when I question you? Y'all some shady motherfuckers. She started screaming at me that it's policy, it's EVERYWHERE. I disagreed, mostly politely, and she kept yelling. I walked off and she kept on talking. I told her to come outside and keep using that tone of voice with me. She declined. Which is a good thing because as furious as I was for the way she was talking to me - I'd likely have gone to jail. My counselor says I have something simmering beneath the surface and we should figure that out and address it rather than me brawling with gas station managers. I agree. Assault is expensive.
I don't give a fuck what a company's "policy" is... my policy would have been "give me my fucking money back, bitch". Don't like that? Fine. I'm calling the CC company and demanding a chargeback.
Or....marry I stealcheese, since he lives next door. You know what they say: "The family that brawls together, stays together... ...in jail!" Don't go to jail. It's really smelly.
Oh it was the completely inappropriate response - but she kept talking and I was pretty much over my scale when I was walking away. Breaking her jaw would've felt great til I got arrested. Jail isn't a good look for me. They told me to get ahold of my bank and the bank would release the hold. My bank says they're crazy - the hold is their fault. So it's in fucking limbo and that was part of my fury.
Methinks this Sterling interview with Anderson Cooper is not going to be the positive PR move he thought it was. Jesus christ!! He's only making it worse!!! I want to find a way to make it stop, or just look away.... but I can't help myself. It's like an awakening to me that some people actually still think like this. That your average idiot truly can become a billionaire.
For those wondering... my reward for taking my wife to Toby Keith was a vacation on the Gulf Coast, casino time and floor seats to Motley Crue. And if you don't like Motley Crue... you can go piss up a rope. Motley Crue rocks.
I'm seeing them with a dozen friends in August with Alice Cooper. They are my circle of friend's "official band"-- the one group we collectively love. Looking forward to it.
This weekend I found out my parents are vacationing in Myrtle Beach, a fraction of the distance closer to me and the kids. I suggest we get together, maybe they can see their grandkids more than twice a year. They said they were meeting friends this weekend and wouldn't be available. Had a few too many beers tonight and sent a text to both of them saying it was sad they'd rather see friends than their son and two grandkids. I've dealt with their nonsense my whole life but I'm going to call them out if they do that shit with my kids.
I wonder how much money he spent on coaching for that interview? He looked like a condescending dick, clearly the coaching failed. So I see my new nieces next weekend, any advice on how to act around newborns? I know it should all be really obvious, but like any man (seemingly) babies scare the shit out of me. I know all they do right now is crap and puke everywhere, so I'm not really looking forward to that. My brother though is over the moon about being a father, so I'm sure he'll want me to hold my nieces and I'm sure I will because I'm not an asshole with my family. I've heard I should wear a shirt I plan to throw away, so maybe I'll hit up WalMart before I get there.
I think if you are 1) not germy and 2) don't drop the baby you will be golden. If you are afraid that 2) may happen, pretend to be 1) and that will take care of any interaction for the weekend.
I've heard that when you hold a baby, you have to hold up its head, or else it will fall off. I really have no idea about anything to do with babies, but you probably don't want your niece's head to fall off, so I'd hold it up just in case.
Newborns are basically just big potatoes that poop and jiggle around a bit. Probably don't have to act a certain way or anything. I mean don't whip your penis out or burn them with a lighter or anything, but cradle the head when you hold one and you'll be fine. And HFB, if you ever question my loyalty to Cosby again I will climb through the internet and hunt you down girl.
He'll flism-flasm drown you in the Jello pudding while shoobity-doo take yer picture with Kodak film in the film-flam dizzle dazzle.
Put me in that group of people who have no fucking clue what to do with a baby. I'll be meeting my cousin's first kid next month and I've already told my wife that I really don't want to hold her. She took that as blasphemy and spent the next ten minutes explaining that I'm going to hold the baby, cause it's a baby and that's what you do...you hold them when people hand them to you and you huff their scalp like spray paint in a paper bag to get that new baby smell (what?). Long story short, I'll probably hold her and it'll be fine once my blood pressure drops back down to a normal level. Is it at all odd that I'll probably feel more anxious holding a baby for the first time than when I shot a shotgun for the first time?
I'll be honest, the first time you hold a baby is a terrifying experience. Until you have a few of your own and you realize they are pretty much indestructible.
This. Once you realize that while they're tiny and delicate, they're not completely fragile, you're good to go. Also - you guys have man hands. PERFECT for holding the baby's head in the palm with the butt in your elbow crook, all snuggled up into your chest. Like that. Only not brooding. You won't break them, and if you don't shake them you likely won't get spit on.
What are you gonna do? Clog my toilet? Psshhh...like I'm scared. Now excuse me while I go put my house on the market. Looks like I'm moving! One of the best things was watching our friend that has bathroom issues change his kids' diapers. He was so skeeved out. But he powered through it and his kids had some of the cleanest asses around. This is the same dude that wipes his dog's butt with a baby wipe when it goes to the bathroom.
So as someone who has never held a baby, I'm really curious about this. Is the "new baby smell" a thing that exists, or is it just something people say? Can anyone describe it?