Re: Can I get 5 twenties? Common where (or possibly when), exactly? I've never heard anyone ask for a dollar in "jingle". If I heard that I'd either think they just had a stroke or stumbled out of a time machine from the 20s. "Yes, I'd like a dollar in jingle and your boldest sassafras."
I had a weird dream last night. I was playing in a golf tournament. I'd bring the club back, slowly. Then I'd start the downward swing. THWAK. Here's the weird part. A midget was standing behind me and watching. Every time I swung, he'd say 'YEAH, BOY!" It got a little weird. I'm assuming that's not normal.
Not to rain on your parade, but your golf midget is lame. After each shot, mine parachutes in wearing a suit covered in LEDs that periodically flash the faces of dead dictators. Just before hitting the ground he pees bourbon on the crowd below as they enthusiastically lap it from the air.
You people talk down about midgets so much, it's disgraceful. You won't be laughing next time they need to make a movie about Santa or Oz and they ain't around to provide the supporting cast.
It's going not-bad. Enough to make the prep effort worth until, until this angry man became quite insulted that I wouldn't sell my kid's Radio Flyer tricycle for.... A dollar. The thing has not a mark on it. A buck? How is being that cheap even possible?
Re: Can I get 5 twenties? That sounds like something Charlie from It's Always Sunny would say. Never heard it before.
Re: Can I get 5 twenties? People who say that are probably living in a world of darkness. NIGHT MAN!!!!!
Re: Can I get 5 twenties? You gotta pay the troll toll you get the boys soul. Still shocked they pulled that off.
I learned how to lose friends and alienate people by being constantly critical, having zero control of my anger, and hiding all of of my emotions (except anger, obvs). Guess who's not getting a card tomorrow? To answer shimmered's question, being out in the working world had definitely humanized my mother. I see her now as a perfectly ordinary person - objectively, a rather nice person - who came from a really fucked up family and made the mistake of marrying the same toxic character as her own father. My father still remains a mystery. I just can't imagine working with someone like him. Someone who handles stress as poorly as him wouldn't last very long doing what I do. But that's not a fair description. He probably handled stress at work just fine and, secure in the knowledge that the outside world thought he was a decent guy treated his own family like crap.
I still think both of my parents are pieces of shit and realized them being fuck ups made me into the man I am today. I dont know if I have mentioned this here or not but I stopped talking to my dad and that side of the family for 13 years because of shady drug dealing and other nefarious activities. I recently reunited with one of my sisters as she was the only sane person in that entire family. Since reuniting I have found out my dad works for the cartels as some low level scum bag, has dragged his brothers into it, and several of his nephews have been basically kidnapped to work for them. Also I found out a year after I left what is in the screen shot below happened at my dads business and he was FRIENDS with the guy. Not having a relationship with my parents is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.
Pro tip: do not eat salad from a Thai street food shop that can't be bothered with things like napkins, doors, or removing stray dogs and cats. The Girlfriend is shitting hot, black evil loudly.
See after you get over travelers diarrhea it's all easy sailing after that. I gained back the 17 pounds I lost right quick off of the greasy insanely unsanitary street food of asia.
I unquestionably feel this way as well. Experiencing more of the world has made me realize how joyless my parents' relationship has become. And because my mom "doesn't believe" in divorce (wtf...I've got two, I can SHOW her they're real), my parents are likely to live the rest of their days on a psychological and emotional treadmill. Wheels spinning, but getting nothing out of it but a bang load of stress and fucked up knees.