The Rachel as in Jennifer Aniston from Friends? Yes, I'd like that. I shouldn't be surprised it costs the most.
Well, among the hilarious multi-layered raunchy jokes on The League, yes, that's a reference to "the Rachel" haircut that was popular when Friends was. Plus, Pete was going out with a Rachel in that episode, and found out while going down on her (since she had frosted tips), that she had a standing appointment with a mobile pubic barber. (Taco in Uncle Frank's van.) I'm assuming the fact that the tips are frosted is why The Rachel was $20. ETA: That episode is called Near Death Flex-perience; Season 5, Ep. 10 and it's a classic. On Netflix instant.
Right now I'm drinking a Czech beer in a pub in England that is inexplicably staffed and patronized mostly by Frenchmen, across the street from a mosque where the Ramadan celebration is in full swing.
It's 94 in my apartment because the ac is fucked. My pool is closed because some awful crotch droppings threw broken glass into it. And I'm laughing my ass off because of you fuckers. Pubic hair has so much potential for a soft textile.
Do we live in the same complex? My pool is also closed because of glass. Fuck it I don't want to know.
China can get fucked. I've never interacted with so many inconsiderate, unpleasant, self-centered assholes in my life, and I've only been in the country 72 hours. I thought this attitude was bad when dealing with large tour groups in other countries, but it's unbelievably pervasive here. This is our 8th country this trip, so I'd like to think I'm pretty used to adjusting to cultural norms, but the norm here seems to simply be "disregard everyone around you because you are the center of the goddamn universe." I'll hold final judgement on Beijing until I explore more, but so far the only good thing about the city is the microbrewery down the street. There might not be enough beer to get me through this segment.
Starting Sunday, my wife started getting texts from a number neither of us knew. The texts were thinly veiled threats that were obviously from a father of a girl and meant for a teenage boy that had been talking to her. We ignored them and he text a few more times, sounding more idiotic with every text. It was entertaining to imagine a grown man on a cell phone losing his mind cause some teenager wouldn't respond to him. Today I googled the number, it belongs to the sleazeball, pillhead plumber that screwed us out of over $1,000 when he started our tile shower and never returned to finish it. His daughter has to be nearly 21, she graduated highschool years ago. I'm still grinning now that I have this information. I had already told him he had the wrong number before I googled it. Damn, would I have loved to have known that, I could have really fucked with him. I'm still trying to come up with ways to fuck with him even though he knows I'm not the guy. Suggestions?
I was out with a group of friends tonight and we were trying to "help" the serial single guy score a date through tinder. We were having fun, making jokes, etc etc, and one girl came up I thought was kind of cute. Well, a swipe later, and yeah...post-op tranny. I think I won the game of Tinder tonight!
I just really need to share something that I discovered about a week ago that I can't get off my mind and didn't know who else to turn to with this information. I had one of those moments where I was like, "You know, I don't really know what my vagina looks like." So I looked. And my immediate reaction was, "That is the Virgin Mary." Like this picture: Spoiler: Spoilered for size, not vagina is basically a picture of my vulva, including the little boy propping it up. (Her face is my clit, obvi.) Anyway, I think this means I'm the messiah? That explains why there's been so much peace and joy on earth since I was born.
If you were a hooker, would you call it "selling an Indulgence"? Is "worship at the altar" your new preferred euphemism for cunnilingus? Does that make the little boy in the photo your taint? Does this open up Georgia O'Keefe to a new aspect of religious interpretation?
That's the most disappointing spoiler tag description, after a post started out so promising. However, you came to the right place. Step into my orifice. Ha. Seriously, though - you "looked?" A) Had you never looked before? B) When you looked, were you using a mirror or a camera or flexibility? Because that might shed light on the "boy=taint" question.
The locals really aren't so bad other than their complete inability to do anything in an orderly fashion. The concept of a line is foreign to them. Instead they just shove each other while trying to wiggle to the front. It's fucking unbelievable. The driving is... well, you've probably been there long enough to see for yourself. The inability to drive in a non-suicidal way aside, I've never seen such enthusiasm for car horns. Jesus fuck is that annoying. The Sanlitun area has a lot of good bars and restaurants you should check out, but I haven't been there in almost 7 years so I have no idea what it's like these days.
Pics, or I'm calling bullshit. Also, it took you this long to finally look at your own vagina? How old are you again? And you think that picture is yonic? Check this out:
I look down at it and all but it had been a while since I'd seen it from that direct angle and I'd forgotten okay. I used my camera but I'm not posting a picture. Even though it makes me so happy that you used the word "yonic."