Re: grapefruit chipper That sounds like too much of a good thing, I imagine it'd be like what Shaq's wife experiences
Y'all want me to just post a dickpic? I mean I don't have one in my possession but I bet he'd oblige if I asked nicely.
No one is asking for a dick pic, but saying he needs a watermelon instead of a grapefruit is begging for us to make fun of you just a bit...
Careful boy or I'll have him helicopter his dick from where he's standing and whip you about the head and neck.
I'm sorry, but keep citrus away from my peehole. Why has no one spoken up about this yet? That shit will burn. If one must use a fruit aid, watermelon is apparently where it is at, according to the internet.
Because nobody is actually going to do it, ergo nobody is worried. I'm happy enough to get a blowjob - I'm not going to request the use of additional produce. Also, congrats to Vandy - first National Championship (men) ever.
One time I was dicing up some habaneros for salsa, and then I took a piss outside. Of course, because I was drunk, I forgot to wash my hands between the two acts. I spent the rest of the night drinking whiskey to numb the pain (didn't work), and crying (didn't work either).
I've done the same thing before, its easy to do when you've had a few. I actually took a bath to try to dilute the oils a bit, and fortunately I was able to avoid crying. Apparently my obvious discomfort was funny as hell to everyone else.
I've done a lot of weird shit. I've never fucked anything that you can buy in a produce aisle. Now someone with a mouth full of brandy sucking my cock, that was interesting...
I was so drunk I debated power-washing off my dick, until I realized it would cause more damage than good. (It was good science though. My thinking was that because with hot foods, you don't want to drink water because oil -- i.e. the hot stuff -- floats on water, drinking water essentially makes the "hot" worse by spreading it around your mouth. So the idea was that the power washer would just blast it off my dick.... And then I remembered just how much the power washer hurts when it even hits my leg.)
I once went down on a girl after eating 5 lbs of crawfish. The only time I've had a night end with her crying in the bubble bath praying to black baby jesus for a new vagina and yet still consensual. Cayenne is a bitch.
So to recap the last page, we've talked about watermelon cock and spicy vagina. Yea, not a bad Wednesday.
Sorry to be killjoy and big-bad-mom from yesteryear, but I simply refused my kid from certain behaviour and colouring hair at all was one of them (it makes it gross to touch). The sooner you apply colour, the sooner it feels like straw. No colouring, no smoking, no drinking, no tats, in front of me. I can't control what's done outside, but I encouraged the teenage girls to hang with me. I got home at 2-3am (ex was home all night) and we sat around and talked about life and their bitch mothers and dick boyfriends and all the struggles of being teenagers. Language was allowed and encouraged. They wanted to go down the street to 7-11 for chips at 4am. NO WAY. I'll go. There is no reason that four teenagers need to be on the streets (and mine are super safe) at 3-4am. Those little girls are now 24-25 and hug me and thank me for being there for them. Even though my kid has moved on from them as friends, I remember every one of them. I run into them too...as I did tonight. Huge hugs and kisses and thank yous for being there. Edit: I love tats and piercings and coloured hair (which my adult daughter has). I just want you to be old enough to grasp what and why and the ramifications of you doing it.
My daughter told me she wanted to add red to hair for prom. She's 18 and paying for it herself and I was thinking she meant like a bright red (a la Paramore lead singer). So I just cautioned her that sometimes what you think is cool as a kid you'll end up looking at those prom pictures 15 years down the road and wonder what you were thinking. She actually has strawberry in her hair and that's the red she meant. So she did it but it looked really nice. There's a guy at the gym working out in a Hawaiian shirt and khaki cargo shorts. They've certainly got some interesting people here. I had my first phone interview yesterday which I did not care for. I was the 6th person to join the conversation but only one of the guys spoke and the rest were just dead silent. It was kind of creepy. And then there's that pause when you stop and before they respond, which made me uncomfortable so I just kept talking. Pretty sure I made stuff up. And then at one point I did stop and it was dead silent and silent and silent. So I do the "hello?" A couple of times. The guy had his phone on mute because his daughter was crying. You'd think one of the other FOUR people on the line would say something. I felt like in those movies when people go before a council that are eerily in the shadows and you stand there getting judged. I hated it.