Make sure you tell her we also fuck dead stray cats. And were Carl Sagan, a guy who correctly predicted methane lakes on a moon we barely new existed half a billion miles away.
I'm on a Pink Floyd roll tonight. Must be the vodka. Anyway, this song has a completely different message when you're over 30 than it did when you were 20. Also, Gilmour still sounds fantastic. [youtube]http://youtu.be/fJZ-uoXnfWg[/youtube]
I know them as generic ole beetles. And yes, they are dumber than a box of blunted dicks. I took one out of the pool, the thing flies right back in. I saved its ass 3 times before walking it out front into the grass. What strikes my funny are some of the GIS results for "Junebug" on the first page. Bug, bug bug, bug... What the fuck? bug, bug, WAT? HOW IS THIS RELATED? Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Apparently there are A LOT, a whole fucking lot, sir, of rednecks nicknamed Junebug.
I used to hit bumble bees off of lilac bushes with one of those big plastic whiffle ball bats. Always entertaining as a 9 year old.
I'm literally incapable of having conversation with my mother rationally right now because she's being such a stupid human being.
Summer of 98 - we'd had a wet spring followed by a SUPER hot summer. Grasshopper and Junebug swarms - EVERYWHERE. We had a white vehicle that, after driving home at dusk when the junebugs were coming out, would be brown and the windshield nearly completely covered by the bugs and guts. Fucking nasty. No. I have never hit one. I scream.
When I was a kid a friend of mine's brother would run around the neighborhood barefoot stomping on honeybees. He was usually stung about once a week.
I'm wondering if tequlia and crystal light iced tea are a good combo? I'm guessing not, but I'm going down that road anyway. Details to follow.
On top of the obvious age problems and the meeting online factor, you also have to make sure the guy who turns up is actually the guy she was talking to the whole time. It's not my intent to joke or freak you out, I'm saying this out of genuine concern. There was a catfishing murder in Australia a couple years ago where a young girl fell in love with what she thought was a young guy and arranged to meet him. The young guy came to her house to stay with her, but the whole time she had been talking online with the guy's dad. Here is an article on the story: http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/ca...andon-court-told/story-e6freuy9-1225788337954
I would just whack them, and they would bounce about five feet away, then buzz right back to what they were doing. Honeybees don't usually sting unless you stomp them or they have that weird African mutation.
I ran. I ran so far away. At the road race I ran tonight (ha, first place in my age group - suck it, bitches!) there was a girl in a costume related to the race theme. She helped hand out the awards, and was happily taking pictures with folks. So, I figured, hey what the hell. As I am clearly getting my phone out for a photo op, helper lady says, you want me to take your picture? So I sidle up next to the girl (18 - 19, y.o. I hope) and do the awkward smile pose hold while the lady tries to operate the camera. The costume girl clearly presses her boob into my arm. It took waaay too long for the lady to take the picture. I'm thinking, okay this is awkward - please be 18. No June bugs, though.
What is it with you girls and bugs? This is hilarious. The response a fuzzy spider gets is the same as a rabid timber wolf outfitted with machine guns. Probably worse. A friend lost her mind when a centipede found its way into her house. Just chilling on the floor apparently, not launching itself at her face when she opened the fridge door (btw, that can totally happen, it was on Nat Geo). I must have been giving her shit for two days "because scientific articles have shown that centipedes will crawl into your ears and in your mouth while you sleep." Rats. That's what you worry about. Rats will eat you and your children in your sleep. This is not hyperbole. They will fucking chew off chunks of you while you sleep. Holy shit I just horfed in my mouth. 14 years later I can still fucking taste that cuervo coming up.
I just started with tequlia, so I guess I'm the minority. 14 years ago I got into a bottle of Goldshlager and ever since then I can't even smell cinnamon or spice liquor.
Speaking of I am looking forward to a series starting up on NatGeo over here called the Science of Stupid. Looks entertaining. And Shimmered, you seem to be a strong willed, rational, intelligent human being. How in the fuck are you scared of so many harmless little bugs.
It's decent if you get the margarita flavor and put tequila in it. Traditional margarita, not even close, but it tastes good. Me, I used to stick with their fruit punch and whatever cheap vodka I had on hand to mix it. McCormick's, I'm looking at you. You wanna know how drunk you can get on a $13 liter bottle of vodka? Drunk. Enough.
$10 bottle of Bourbon got me drunk enough to have a run in with the police and spend the night in the recovery position on my grandmothers front lawn.