You know that's a fetish to some people who also like anime porn and golden showers. You may well pick up a bunch more followers. (Note to self: stay well away from toytoy's twitter)
That reminds me that I had a twitter account set up to record the shenanigans of my room mates. I just looked it up...I am so glad I don't live with those people any more.
My feet have made seasoned podiatrists dry vomit. No one wants to see my feet, even if it's their job and I pay them.
You know, I really like Urban Dictionary right until I read their most popular definition of what infowars is. I dearly hope it's sarcasm because.... I'm sorry, "brilliant?" Alex Jones uses "facts"? I thought people that read UD don't buy into that Illuminati chemtrail horseshit. Nobody's perfect I guess.
Is this a thing? Everyone knowing in advance someone is going to propose? Not everyone does it like Angel?
I don't know what you mean by "thing". I don't know the when's or where's...just that it's in the next 6 months and knowing my pops he would appreciate the heads up about being asked for my hand. I'm the only daughter and the apple of his eye. He really only gets emotional when it comes to a few things: my grandmother who is no longer with us and me.
You may not know the specifics now, but at some point he'll leave you a rambling stuttering message to come over to his place after work, which is weird because you all have been staying at your place because his apartment is a shitty $300 a month basement hole. He will have bought a bottle of wine with an actual cork and he'll barely be able sit still or put together a coherent thought and then you'll know. Then, five days shy of your fifteenth anniversary, he'll post about it to a bunch of internet strangers.
You people are right fucked up. That's saying a lot coming from me. I'm heartbroken and on a drinking binge (which means drinking 4-5 night a week to 5-6). But I'm going on vacation in 37 hours. Get ready Ucluelet, BC. I'm coming for you. (only JoeCanada has a clue where this place is).
GFs family knows I'm proposing in a few months, still gotta talk to her dad. I'm not asking his permission for anything. Ill ask for his blessing, but I'm proposing regardless. He's a shitty father and his girlfriend is a dingbat, so hes gets the bare minimum of respect.
And I forgot to add that my parents have been through a lot of drama over the last few years regarding my brother and his life choices/consequences of those choices. There were several surprises that weren't exactly welcomed. This is a happy surprise, but if I can soften it or make it easier for them to hear, I'd like to do that.
Woke up to seed ticks (tick larvae) all over the bed, me, the dog, and the dog's bed. No clue who got them, as we were pretty much in all of the same places. Sheets in a hot wash, dog brushed and treated, dog bed in the trash. Happy Saturday! Good thing we can drink at ten.
There's nothing better than a week away for work and coming home to find a clean house, full fridge, mowed lawns and everything in its place. What I *actually* came home to was about an inch from squalor. Piles of things on the floor, empty pizza boxes NEXT TO the recycling bin but not actually in it, a heap of dishes in the sink, the clean dishes still living in the dishwasher, laundry a mile high, and a yard that looks like a Brazilian rainforest. Fuck sakes. Looks like I'm set for a busy day. Brazilian steakhouse for dinner tonight. AYCE Meat? I'm down.
What, he didn't even try the last-minute ditch dude attempt to make things look presentable? For shame. Seriously it is the easiest thing in the world to keep a house clean, especially when you're alone and sans kids.
Ah, I take it back. They aren't clean dishes. They're dirty dishes mixed among the clean dishes that could have been unloaded on Monday. He didn't even check, he just put dirty ones on top of them. Y'know, I remember years ago when my mom would go away for a few days and visit her sisters and dad would be in charge of us for a few days. It was like camping - no beds made, no laundry done, we ate fast food or sandwiches every day and soda for breakfast was perfectly acceptable. I remember my mom coming back, seeing the state of her children and her home, and just sitting down and weeping. I thought it was because she missed us. Now I know better.
Please do share your magical techniques that can make a statement like this even remotely possible. I've always found ordering delivery and masturbating all day the easiest thing to do home alone.
Speaking of masturbation, one of the nice things about weight loss is that instead of having an earbud in a bag of marshmallows, I now have a thumb sticking out of a hamburger bun. All this talk about delivery food and doing nothing makes me wish I didn't have a lawn to mow, weeds to whack, and dog shit to pick up. Not necessarily in that order.
You could just weedwhack the dog shit piles and then mow the lawn. Or just mow over the piles of shit. They say for people who are obese, that for ever 30 lbs of weight loss, you expose another inch of your buried penis. That could be some incentive, I guess.
I've never quite heard it described that way and now I have weird visuals in my head. So, thanks for that.