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7/12/13 Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jul 12, 2013.

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  1. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    We have four dogs. All of them sleep on our bed, three of them demand to be under the covers and we're suckers.

    By halfway through the week the sheets they have to be changed.

    Guys, let me tell you, marrying a woman with OCD (which expresses itself in the form of her cleaning) is one of the secrets to a happy life.
     
  2. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    His logic probably was that by the time they're sniffing your sheets, you've already sealed the deal.
     
  3. ssycko

    ssycko
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    Why wash your sheets when you can spend that laundry time out spittin game and neggin babes?
     
  4. Backroom

    Backroom
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    Plus you've already killed them, amIright?
     
  5. zyron

    zyron
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    I absolutely love dogs but I would die from heat stroke trying to sleep like that. I couldn't sleep with my dachshund because he wanted to be under the covers right next to you. It was like sleeping with a little oven.
     
  6. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    No dogs in the bed. I love my puppy but cuddle time with him is on the couch or the floor. The bed is for people only.
     
  7. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Prude.
     
  8. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    How I invite people over to my house via text message:

    "Drinks at my place. Come over and not get laid. Bring beer."
     
  9. bewildered

    bewildered
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    I bet you loved the bestiality scene in Wicked.
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

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    Did I just shit myself?

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    I tried making my bed human only so I could cut down on the pet dander and relieve my sinuses. It last for a few weeks until I left my door cracked and she came running in at 2 am and jumped in with me. What had been happening is that I'd fall asleep watching tv on the couch and she'd be asleep on the love seat. I'd go up at midnight to bed and she'd wake up at 2-3 in the morning and come find me. I found out if I left my door closed she was sleeping at the top of my steps outside my door.
     
  11. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Some old cunt fell out of a rollercoaster and croaked, are we supposed to outraged now?
     
  12. toddamus

    toddamus
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    Was she black or white? And was the person operating the coaster white or white hispanic?
     
  13. TX.

    TX.
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    Not a fan of dogs in beds, but I like having my cat sleep at my feet every night. He wakes me up by purring in my face and rubbing up against me. I know that it's because he's hungry, but it's still pretty damn cute.
     
  14. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    I have no idea if her seat malfunctioned, but this story reminds me. I was in line at Wet N Wild for one of the tube slides when someone jerked upward in the middle of a descent knocked themselves unconscious, and they were only halfway through the slide when it happened, so they tumbled through the rest like a giant ham slamming their concussion all over the slide. I also missed out on the log ride at the Mall of America because a boy jumped out at the top of the drop. Rides should not be closed because of mentally disabled people.
     
  15. JoeCanada

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    I don't think there's enough evidence to determine for sure what happened one way or another, but I think this case still says a lot about the current state of roller coaster/old cunt relations in your country.
     
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    My cat playfully attacks feet at night when they move. At first it's cute, but at 4am I'm given little choice but to Kumite her across the room because you can't exactly sleep when she nips you with those trademark needle teeth cats have.
     
  17. $100T2

    $100T2
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    I'd say at least 50% of the board appreciates having a pussy rubbed on their face in the morning.
     
  18. Kubla Kahn

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    Did I just shit myself?

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    Thats their way of killing you through sleep deprivation.
     
  19. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Not if it's Ke$ha's. I'd rather I be sold into white slavery than be woken by that pit of debris and despair.
     
  20. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Did I just shit myself?

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    I'd just brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack after.
     
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