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7/12/13 Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jul 12, 2013.

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  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I would be too busy downing the bottle while crying.
     
    #381 Crown Royal, Jul 20, 2013
  2. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    If anyone here craves a new definition of the word "pain", I urge you to let a deer fly sink its insectoid-teeth into your flesh.

    W-O-W that shit hurts.
     
    #382 Crown Royal, Jul 20, 2013
  3. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    This reminds me of the time Li'l Bandit and I went to Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels. We were waiting in line to go on the "Master Blaster," the world's largest uphill waterslide, when two fat people got stuck in it.
    Apparently this was a contingency the park designers had planned for, because a rescue crew went in through a trap door and got the lard-asses out.
    The whole process took almost an hour... An hour of just standing around, waiting in line, because some dipshits can't put down the fork every once in awhile.
    But that's not the worst part: After the sea-cows were recovered, THEY WERE ESCORTED TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE AND GIVEN A CHANCE TO GO AGAIN! What the fuck were they thinking? What if it happened again?!
    I guess they must have cranked up the water pressure to full volume, because they made it through that time.
    Goddam I hate fat people.

    It was an otherwise great trip, and I'm thinking of taking him again this summer.
     
    #383 dixiebandit69, Jul 20, 2013
  4. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    God damn it! I picked up another follower on Twitter. I really don't want any one following me as I attempt to find my voice only using 140 characters. If I wanted followers I'd let folks know the screen name and let y'all hate on me in a worldwide platform. How the fuck are these people finding me?

    Apparently my threat of pictures of my feet was not enough to dissuade someone else from following me. Time to up the ante.

    Diseased dicks. Rotting, malformed, bloody dicks.
     
    #384 toytoy88, Jul 20, 2013
  5. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    Perverted sycophants and one uppers to table 4 please. You're going to be an internet super star before long.

    Edit: I'm too drunk to articulate. Toytoy, I want you to post an ad with your car covered in diseased dicks.
     
    #385 Kampf Trinker, Jul 20, 2013
  6. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    I got stuck on a roller coaster that stopped mid-uphill at SeaWorld. We just sat there for 20 minutes while the high school kids running the ride tried to figure out how to get the coaster going again. I definitely didn't want to get on that thing again.

    I know that the odds of a freak accident occurring are next to none, but when you spend time at a place where a large majority of the people were involved in a freak accident or spinal cord injury-inducing car accident where they are left completely dependent on other people to wipe their ass, it makes you a bit of a wuss. I don't do roller coasters and I'm a really cautious driver. Because of that, I'll probably get hit by a bus tomorrow.
     
    #386 TX., Jul 20, 2013
  7. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    I know how you feel. Once, when I was a kid, the Teacup Ride at Disney stopped halfway through. It was sheer panic. One woman lost a leg trying to get out, some other kid died of heat stroke. Tragic, simply tragic. I also heard 4 other people were sodomized.
     
    #387 CharlesJohnson, Jul 20, 2013
  8. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    Don"t we all?

    Not pictures of diseased dick; actual real diseased dicks.
     
    #388 toytoy88, Jul 20, 2013
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    The second time I rode the Top Thrill at Cedar Point, we didn't clear the top. So, they slowly brought us down the ninety degree hill which is over 41 stories tall. Then, fired us over it again. I enjoyed every. Single. Second of the ordeal.
     
    #389 Crown Royal, Jul 20, 2013
  10. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    I was trying to help you sell your car. That you can get for free.
     
    #390 Kampf Trinker, Jul 20, 2013
  11. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Oh God. Repressed memories.

    When I was 7 my mother made me ride It's a Small World 6 times in a row. I freaked out and threw a little girl overboard.

    Those evil little robots told me to do it. I swear.
     
    #391 toytoy88, Jul 20, 2013
  12. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Thank you, but despite my best efforts to sabotage the sale of my car by yelling at foreigners and insulting anyone that even remotely annoyed me, I sold it. He didn't even squabble over the price. Imagine that? I've got mad negotiations skillz.
     
    #392 toytoy88, Jul 20, 2013
  13. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    Being 6'7" and having a propensity to fire guns without warning tends to shorten the bargaining period.
     
    #393 Kampf Trinker, Jul 20, 2013
  14. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.

    Not within city limits. I'm not some sort of uncivilized animal.
     
    #394 toytoy88, Jul 21, 2013
  15. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    That song.... That FUCKING song. Makes you wanna watch the world burn.
     
    #395 Crown Royal, Jul 21, 2013
  16. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Absentee Mod

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    ... I just googled "what do I want to buy on Amazon" cause I want to buy stuff and I'm noit sober enough to know what.

    Google is terrible at this, I'm just now findning...
     
    #396 Blue Dog, Jul 21, 2013
  17. Aetius

    Aetius
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    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/</a>
     
    #397 Aetius, Jul 21, 2013
  18. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Buy a grille. You'll be the envy of your hunting camp. Not to mention an easy target when y'all are spot lighting.
     
    #398 toytoy88, Jul 21, 2013
  19. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    #399 Kampf Trinker, Jul 21, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  20. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Absentee Mod

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    That site doesn't include babies and building houjses. It is therefore bullshit and I don't like it.

    EDIT: though I just bought dog goggles. I need those. My son will look funny while he's shitting on my driveway. Kinda like Snoopy.
     
    #400 Blue Dog, Jul 21, 2013
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