I'd be worried she'd return that with an icy-hot hand job, but hey if the vicodin is still working nothing to worry about.
Update: She wants all of TiB that she has to spend $10 on a Bud Light and that it is in fact not cool. I can't figure out if it's uncool because of the shame of admitting to drinking Bud Light or because the 39 more zj's she's about to give. Either way, I promised her I would keep you updated.
Oh, and I probably should have elaborated that once the fire got onto my arms (I'm afraid I'll never forget the sight of my hands and arms on fire), I threw myself onto the ground and rolled around. That's what put it out. Except apparently in my rush to get inside, I didn't notice that some part of the fire from my extremities caught the grass on fire... and yes, I'd rolled away from where the pit is so I know it was me not the boxes. Damn texas no rain, everything is dry here. So in the midst of spraying burn spray all over myself, had to take a pause while my wife ran outside with the hose and I ended up getting both fire extinguishers out of our trucks to put out the shit. So now there's about a 30' radius area that's charred. All because I was too lazy to take some boxes down to the street.
It isn't a metaphor, just a reference to a book. The whole point of opiates is that they make it so you don't feel anything, so sex on opiates is a non-starter.
Ugh, why am I awake? Somehow I spent $57 dollars yesterday. That was just for parking and drinks. I'm also the proud owner of a brand new sunburn.
But, you made like $80 on the zj's, right? So that's a win. You can borrow some of 'nerds burn cream.
Ahh, this takes me back to the days when I was constantly ripped on Mexican pain killers ('06-'08). Getting to the finish line with a woman was always a challenge, and I didn't always make it (sometimes I did, but that took some extreme concentration, to the point where it wasn't even fun anymore). Did you know that women don't like it/get weirded out when a guy doesn't cum? After all the complaining that women do about guys cumming too fast, you'd think that a guy who takes forever/doesn't cum at all would be a hot commodity. But noooooo... I think this is one of the reasons why so many of my dates went poorly back then. Proof once again that women don't know what they want.
The wife made me not take my pain killer this morning so I could take advantage of her ovulation window. Do you know how hard it is to get hard when you're arms are screaming in pain? Toddler was awake and she didn't agree with me that learning how babies were made was an educational experience. So she gave him snacks and put him on the bed, we went into the guest room and fucked on the floor.... Needless to say, it doesn't feel good when you're using your burned forearms as support and then when you're finished the blood come rushing back into them. Eventually threw the pain meds away, don't like how it makes me feel. I swear this next kid better be a professional athlete or something. MY BURNED ASS DIDN'T STAY SOBER TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER FOR NOTHING BOY!!! 500 MORE PITCHES. THEN PUSHUPS! When he's like 6.
I don't want you back in jail THAT bad. It was hydrocodone/acetaminophen 7.5-325. Took the edge off but still felt the flaming. Today I'm getting more shooting pain through the numbness, which is good, because it means the body is healing maybe. I'd rather not be on drugs and know what my body is doing so I can keep tabs on it. The majority of my problem with alcohol is it was addicting but I didn't like the way it made me feel (if my body was a car I'd have one of those dash boards that has a gauge for everything down to how much flatulence is in the air). And cognitive dissonance is a real bitch when you're drunk as hell so I ended up just getting into a rage and taking it out on myself. Same deal with pain meds, even stuff like advil. If I need it for swelling I'll take it but only as long as I need to. But anything that prevents my body from functioning at it's best, I avoid at all costs. And if I do have to take it, I monitor that shit like a an oil pressure gauge on a craigslist truck.
Minus the self inflicted gun wounds, setting oneself on fire... Yeah, no, you're real good at avoiding those types of things!
You're an idiot. I have cysts on both ovaries and hydrocodone is saving me right now. I don't love how it makes me feel and it doesn't get rid of my pain but it's way fucking better than suffering.