My cousin is under five foot, tiny and allergic to almost every painkiller known to man other than booze. And they couldn't cut the baby out of her due to bad positioning, so 72 hours of natural labor for her first kid and 59 for her second (9 months and 2 weeks later, fucking slow learners). I'm pretty sure my carpal problems started during my shifts holding her hand while her husband was tapped out. Jesus fucking Christ, that process is not beautiful. And most emergency paramedics I know have at least one story about side cutters to perform an episiotomy because it was kinder than the alternative. Dwell on that for a moment ladies - a stranger with a pair of side cutters from the car tool kit, sawing your taint in half because it's better than the parasite's fat head ripping your vagina and asshole into a single cavity on the way out.
I was present and looked below the curtain so to speak for the birth of both of my sons. It wasn't really that big of a deal and I treasure the memories of watching them be born and welcoming them into the world. All you guys who are afraid of a little blood need to get a grip. Once She is pregnant, let alone delivers, you go down the claimant's list on her body so just be happy to get a turn. Not sure how you socialist Canadian and upside down Australian pricks do it in your hospitals, but if you've got good insurance in the USA, an epidural takes care of all the serious pain for the woman. My wife was in labor for a total of 7 hours between the two.
We only have a finite number of epidural needles and anesthetic. The Queen herself chooses which women get an epidural, and the rest of them we lie to and say things like "it's too late for us to put an epidural in" or whatever.
There is evidence (don't ask me where I'm too lazy and haven't had any coffee so I'm not looking it up right now) that suggests that the cut is more traumatic on the woman's body than the tear, and that if a woman spends her pregnancy exercising regularly, the likelihood of tearing OR needing an episiotomy is greatly diminished. Anecdotally speaking, the pregnant woman I coached and all of the pregnant women I didn't but knew during their pregnancy who did CrossFit and weightlifting didn't need that type of intervention.
All babies born in Canada are also presented to the queen for inspection. If it is sickly or deformed it is thrown from the Cliffs Of Dover and the parents are not to permitted to debate or shed tears.
Yeah, I think I've mentioned it on here before, but here in the US it is common practice to do a preemptive episiotomy because a clean cut heals better and faster than a ragged tear. My poor sister said she sat on a bag of frozen peas for about 6 weeks after birthing out her second kid because of her episiotomy. C-sections aren't much better, though. I've worked in a hospital and seen both. Watching a doc and a nurse use their whole body weight to pull apart a woman's abdominal muscles to expose her womb made me want to crawl up in a ball and cry. At least you have a chance at a semi-normal experience if the kid's shooting out of your hoohah. I am sure fitness of the momma plays a role, but so does the birthweight of the infant. We have some big ass babies in my family. I was around the smallest at 9lb 8oz but my brother was an oz shy of 11lbs. I don't care how fit you are, if you are trying to push out an 11lb baby, shit's about to get real.
And you're less likely to get diastastis recti with natural childbirth. That shit sucks. You get the little dip in the middle of your tummy and it's just fucking annoying. What the fuck is your family made of that the babies are double digiters? Newwwp. Husband was an 11 lb baby and I pray that if we ever get to have a child - it resembles me at 7 lbs instead of him at Tank.
Awww how cute that you think 11lbs is big. My mom did natural birth on me and my brother. I was 9lbs9oz my brorher was 13lbs.
I think its a good thing women have an instinctual desire to have kids, because the whole process seems expensive and painful. Logically it seems unreasonable to have one.
You either want to or you don't. If you truly do, then believe me: the good largely outweighs the bad, even with the circus of horrors we had our first year. However if you DONT want to have them and do anyways, odds are both you and the child will have a miserable life.
The average is just over 8 lbs.. Eleven pounds is FUCKING big. 13 pounds means your mother was taking bulkshark hormones. Ours was two pound, she would have fit comftorably inside a Coke can.
My wife's doctor actually asked me if I wanted to participate in the birthing process. Apparently this is a thing? He said he's had a lot of husbands ask to help and he didn't mind (I told him nope, that's what we're paying you for). My participation was limited to cutting the cord, which was weird but really cool.
Anyone that read Grapes of Wrath in highschool will just allow the doctor to do his job. There's a scene where Pa is anxious while his wife is in a distressed labor. Unsure of when or if the doctor will arrive he starts helping the baby out of his wife, pulling too hard, in the process deforming the baby and turning it 'tarded. The midwife had to "mold" the baby back together. So, yeah, fuck that. I'm imagining Stretch Armstrong and kind of want to vomit. I Don't know nuttin 'bout birthin' no babies.