Cats bring their owners dead animals because they see you as one of their kittens they're trying to teach to hunt. Just like in the wild, feral cats will bring home injured or dead animals for their offspring to learn on basically. Your cat doesn't see you as someone with adequate hunting skills, so it's bringing you animals trying to teach you. Basically what I'm saying is, your cat thinks it's smarter than you and that also you're an idiot. I suggest you go outside and blast a few birds with your shotgun to show it who is boss.
True. Mine went though a phase where she wanted to sleep only on my neck. She's a Nebelung and they're like dogs, they're loyal and possessive.
Nah, my room is his "nest" so he brings his kills in there to enjoy. While I'm gone. In other news, just got a call from my best friend and he's going to be getting married in Africa next February while my mom and I are there... as in 4 blocks from where we're staying that day. So that's kind of a crazy coincidence. Looking forward to that, for sure.
Wait, Wagner wrote an opera cycle about a fucking cat? Izzy likes to lick our hands when we pet her, but it soon devolves into just flat-out gnawing on our hands.
Yeah, I know. Music nerd humor. Although seeing the Valkyries riding in on some puffy grey cats would be quite entertaining.
I'm putting a straw in my wine and am going to lay in my yard and watch the meteor shower. Fuck my neighbors for their lights though.
So it took me twenty minutes of being in Australia to have a record with the police. While I remembered to take my pepper spray out of my bag, I didn't think of my brass knuckles key chain. I had to go through security again to transfer in Sydney and it set the thing off. (I'm actually a little concerned that didn't happen in JFK.) I was really nervous because people think I'm Latina or Middle Eastern all the time, and in my head I just kept thinking "please don't think I'm brown, please don't think I'm brown." Thankfully, the cops were young, cute, friendly boys who seemed genuinely apologetic to inconvenience me like this. (Also I dress moderately up for flights and don't look like sleepy trash, so that probably helped.) They were like "So, this is considered a weapon? So we could detain you? Or fine you? But we're thinking of just confiscating it? Is that alright?" Uh, yes. That is fine. And then we just chatted about living in Brooklyn and my trip while the report was filed and I was sent on my way with assurances it wouldn't affect my travels and pleasant wishes.
That whole scene played out in my head as if all of them sounded like Jason Mantzoukas, but with a few "G'dye Mates" thrown in. Audrey, make sure you mention something about throwing a shrimp on the barbie. They love that.
Or ask them how much they love Outback Steakhouse. Another fun thing, ask them if they're from New Zealand. And if they say no, tell them its basically the same country.
Or Fosters. When they make some remark about "Fosters is horse piss" say "But Fosters is Australian for Beer! So what does that say about everything else you drink down undah?"
Or if they say Fosters isn't Australian just nod your head, and say its not, Its Australian for Beer.
I had an Aussie friend when I lived in Shanghai and there were plenty in that part of the world. They fucking crushed western girls with that accent. That is, if they didnt have the yellow fever.