i've been to 5-6 clubs in ottawa and montreal multiple times over the years and never seen anyone tipping the girls on stage. at the same time i've never had to ask a girl in montreal to take anything off, generally they're fully nude in about 20 seconds.
so i tweaked something in my hip/butt the other day at the gym. i had some leftover percocet from my surgery and took one. i also thought it would be a good idea to take a muscle relaxer. how do people function on this stuff? i just slept. at one point i woke up and thought "i'm hungry, i should get something to eat." but i didn't. i just laid there. and went back to sleep. and i took the minimum dosage. i was starving this morning when i woke up that's for sure. and then to add to my wasted weekend day, i took my middle child to the kind of prussia mall today. it's like i hate myself. why can't she online order like the rest of the world? Spoiler
major payne is a stupid movie, but damon wayans is so goddamn funny in it he alone makes it a good movie. practically everything he does in it is funny.
i've decided i'm in love with chris pratt. he's just adorable. rob thomas has some competition (he's getting way too skinny anyway, although his voice is still oh so delicious): fact: i've never seen titanic another fact: i thought it would bomb.
fact, i was about 12 when titanic came out. i remember being in 7th grade and all the girls were in love with leo
fact: i have shown my ballsack to everyone i know fact: i have drank 9 bellinies since 12, and like 4 four lokos/rebull/budlight since 5. fact: i just spent like 5 hours in a hot tub filled with detergent and dish soap. it was like a p diddy party. baller. awwwww yeah, hail satan. now, who wants to make out??? crown?
real question, people here actually did the 4 loko thing? its hard to believe the government banned something that seems equivalent to vodka redbull but apparently it really fucked people up.
i'd fight you for pratt, but i'm too lazy. i'll just have to settle for undermining your relationship with my shameless flirting.
don't hate the playa. Spoiler cj you've definitely won the award for most unique evening. doesn't soap fuck up the jets of the hot tub if you pour it in? and won't you get dishpan hands?
ok. 4 loko is basically 3 or 4 redbull and vodka inside one can. it was a 12% drink with taurine. 4 shit fucked e to the point where i blacked out and did violent things. anyway. tonight, i bought the 4 loko without taurine, it is just a 12% wine cooler, malt liquor. then i added about 4 ounces of redbull. soooooo, basically, i could run to canada then head butt a minotaur. i bought several cans, was pouring this shit into everyone's drinks. so, basically, we all ended up naked and sliding over each other's genitals. i do not know, nor do i care. it's so early i'm probably waling over to the neighborhood dive to get some whiskey and a hand job from a dock workhand who needs meth money.
i was giving my 2 year old daughter a bath tonight when she decided to inform me of the following: "daddy, i like playing with my butt!" to which i immediately replied, "well you certainly didn't get that from your mother..." and that's when the fight started.
i just realized i'm naked. what dd you do with pants, you sick fuck? what the fuck did you do with my clothes?
four loko is like a temporary lobotomy, blended with acid, sadness and cupcake icing. you may find yourself chewing on metal objects and then later, inserting them into yourself. thank fuck that shit's illegal enough that no one is making it in a bathtub. if given a choice between four loko with say five of my best friends, and a heap of meth with a bunch of homeless schizo's, i'd take the meth and call it a tranquil evening reciting poetry in comparison. four loko is what gives chuck norris nightmares...about a gay, commie chuck norris. it does have the effect of making your little wand hard enough to swordfight musashi but dear sweet god the things you plug it into. i had a friend point at a girl's face and go, "get out of it. get out of it, now!" there are four beverages that i count as my "four horseman of the apocalypse." four loko is pestilence, because it is exactly dsm 5 soup with std's on the side.
so what you're telling me is i've missed out on quite a bit. i've also learned that jdoogies wife is not a fan of butt play. good to know as well.
wouldn't it be easier just to become a disco werewolf rapist on bath salts than to consume all of that shit for the same effect? i'm sure there's a gypsy ritual out there somewhere that has that end in mind.