Set the homeless on fire, become their new god. They will worship you with many fine meth rocks and spray paint. I hear they have a mean red can. Actual advice edit: Vancouver Aquarium is nice.
Go to Brix wine bar for a fantastic meal, or Georges (downstairs from Brix) for a high-end drink. Both owned by my ex-BIL, and it's fantastic. Especially the courtyard. If you want to go see my very old stomping grounds, go to The Roxy (right downtown). It hasn't changed since the late 80's... best place in town for live music. On a Monday, you might get something stupid like karaoke or something, but it's worth checking out. Failing that, there's a whole strip of bars/nightclubs/pubs on Granville Row there beside them.
I think he's really asking where to get a happy ending massage. That's what I got from his post, anyway.
If you're looking for something to do in the day time, walk the Sea Wall, go through Stanley Park, go to Lynn Canyon Park (suspension bridge), and yeah, the Aquarium is great (I have a lifetime membership). http://lynncanyon.ca/
If he can't get laid from The Roxy, then there's no helping him. There's Brandi's, the strip club, which isn't bad either.
Sacrifice quality? Not when they are carbon reinforced and cool dubstep music plays when you open them. https://www.lelo.com/hex-condoms-original
My nipples hurt. I went to the beach yesterday and wore a swim shirt. It was breezy and cooler than usual. Hard nipples plus dried saltwater in a shirt rubbing against your nipples = chafing and bleeding
I dunno, Crown. I've seen a lot of black guys over the years with plug-fugly white/latina women, many times with a gaggle of kids that obviously aren't theirs. This phenomenon has always mystified me; supposedly there are a lot of white/latina women who want the whole jungle-fever experience, so you'd think that those guys could do a little better than sea-donkeys with a couple of different baby-daddies. Or maybe that's how they like 'em; who am I to judge?
That is a fact that is not open for debate. However.... there is a difference between "thick" and "can fully absorb high-caliber arms fire". I hope the brothers you speak of have downed a LOT of Heineken and/or Hennesey before carving into that landscape.