My wife did take my last name, but her's was a long German name that started with W and she said that she didn't want our kids to have to constantly spell it and stand at the back of line in school. I honestly didn't care if she took my name or not, and stated as much, but we are in the south and I think societal pressures in the region gave her pause. An overwhelming majority of our married female friends took their husband's last name with maybe 2 or 3 that I know of not doing it. However, the two that immediately popped into mind both have situations similar to yours. Both have PhD's and are published under their maiden name and wanted to keep the name they are published under.
Look at it this way: you can take your husband's name, or you can spend a lifetime correcting people out loud whenever they refer to you as Mr. And Mrs. So-And-So.
I told my wife that I wanted her to take my last name, she decided not to. She also cited professional licenses, etc. which were all under her maiden name. The problem that I run into (she doesn't) is now in social situations, unless people know ME specifically, I get called Mr. 'Wife's Last Name' which I find highly fucking irritating. Call me misogynist, etc., but the reality is most women take their husband's last name, and you end up having to constantly correct people. It has also wreaked havoc with bills/vendors (cable, etc.) that were under my wife's name before we got married. So in short, her not changing her name has posed 0 annoyance to her and a fair amount to me - which would be even more problematic if we had kids (which we don't, thank God). If I were to ever get married again (and I can't imagine the circumstances under which I would do so again), the last name thing would be an absolute deal breaker. Especially if there were going to be kids involved.
Is it really that much of a pain if you have kids whose parents have different last names? My aunt never changed her name, they have two kids, they didn't have any problems whatsoever. Sure, it's a bit more paperwork in life, but nothing compared to the headache of the MTO (DMV), Service Ontario to change a health card and Social Insurance Number, Passport office, bank(s), credit card company(ies), utility company(ies), subscriptions, even the fucking library. My sister had to take two days off work to stand in lines and change her legal name. Fuck that.
A wedding is nothing more than a big, elaborate, cultural ritual. Most of my married friends agree that they wish they hadnt spent so much money on it, and their wives agree with it but they're still glad they did. If you're going to participate in the entire thing, why not include the ritual of taking the guy's name? I understand not doing so for professional reasons, sure. But otherwise, I dont get it. And fuck that hyphenated name bullshit. My parents forbade me from hanging out with any kids with hyphenated last names.
Guys don't get it. My name has been part of my identity for 33 (33, motherfuckers) years. I am reluctant to just adopt a new identity, even if it is the last name of someone I love and cherish, because that's NOT ME. Mrs Husband'sLastName isn't my name - that's his mother's name. I'm proud of my family, I'm proud of where I come from, it's hard for me to imagine abandoning that just because I married a guy. Imagine if FutureWife asked you to change your name? You wouldn't even entertain it, would you? Out of social convention and because you just don't want to - well, sometimes, we don't want to either.
In New Jersey, I did several name changes for clients because post 9/11, it appears the biggest threat to national security was wives who took their husband's last name - because it used to be she just assumed her husband's name after marriage and it had legal effect. It no longer does so, you have to change it affirmatively. Definitely a pain in the ass. That being said, the inconvenience is all up front. Not changing can create issues (especially with kids) - for decades. That's not to say the issues are insurmountable. What I am saying is it requires paying more attention to things that normally are pretty straightforward. For instance, let's say you go to pick up your kid from school - and you forgot to list both parents in full (your kid is 'Kid Jones' - but your last name is 'Mrs. Brown') it can create an issue where the school has to confirm your identity. Again, is it insurmountable, no, of course not. But as someone who is married to someone who didn't change their name, you see these inconveniences pop up fairly often, and often unanticipated, and it will continue to happen for as long as I'm married. In the grand scheme of things is it a big deal? No, probably not, but it gets to be a pain in the ass.
I knew a guy who changed his name to his wife's...then they got divorced and never changed it back. As an Asian guy with a Hispanic last name, he received a few RCA dog looks whenever people heard his last name. My girlfriend's currently working toward a PhD...if...(I said if) we were to get married, changing her last name would be a pain in the ass for her professionally. Plus, hers is Anglican, mine's Polish. I'm not changing my name, but guess who's name we typically use when when making reservations, etc. I created my screen name while I was still in the Air Force and well, I'm a VA Tech grad so...AFHokie it was. Speaking of names, like Danger Boy alluded to, nobody in the military ever calls anybody by their name. At best you're called by you last name or a shortened version of it. Within the Air Force callsigns are common. Many squadrons (mostly fighter units) will hold naming ceremonies. If you're around long enough, something eventually sticks. To this day there are people I worked with whom I would have to take a moment and look up their real name. It can be something benign, but most names are silly, sometimes nonsensical (like danger boy's), reflect on a character flaw or something you fucked up and whenever possible have a double entendre. Acronyms are common. The best typically require a short story to explain and only 10% of truth is required. A few examples: a guy was called Banging simply because his last name was Potts and well calling a guy Banging sounds funny. Another was called Trojan because he had several brake fires while landing...he likes to burn rubber. A woman was called Torch because she went long on the bombing range with a practice bomb and it started a small forest fire. The fact she's a redhead didn't hurt either. Then there's the guy called SHAG which stood for social hand grenade. Without fail, within minutes of him entering a group of people, the group will disperse.
Here's a question for the hyphenators: When your kids grow up, if they follow the weirdo tradition, when they marry do they become last name X-Y-Z? or does one drop off? I know a guy who married this oddball I went to school with growing up. She made him hyphenate his last name too. Now they are both Firstname herlastname-hislasname. Is that common amongst the hyphenators?
I took my husband's last name, but I don't have a professional reputation hanging on my maiden name so it wasn't a big deal. My middle name is my maiden name. The man interviewing me yesterday said that my name sounds like an author, so I guess I need to get crackin' on the books. I'm pretty traditional about stuff like that I guess. I am also not particularly emotionally attached to my name. It took me years to even accept my first name and to this day I merely accept it, not love it. I used to use my last name when signing papers in high school.
A good friend of mine has a hyphenated last name. Typically he only goes by the first half which was his mother's name. He doesn't have much of a relationship with his father, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. He married last year and his wife only took that half of his last name. They just had a kid...I'll have to ask him if his daughter's last name is now both of his and his wife's maiden as well, just one last name or a new combination.
Ontario Provincial Police: protecting us all from the Biebs. ...seriously, what douchebag puts the Batman emblem on his wrought iron gate?
If I had an estate with wrought iron gates, I'd do it. That's probably the the first thing I've seen from him that makes me chuckle and not consider him a fucktard.
Then at at least but the actual batmobile if you have that money. I'd save my cash for a flaming moat stocked with fireproof piranha.
The kid better start saving up for all the future child support payments he'll inevitably end up having.
ive got a hyphenated last name, due to the fact that my parents weren't married when i was born(they decided to wait, have 2 more kids, and let 25 years pass). it's usually not a big deal, unless i have to fill out some sort of official form or this scenario occurs; Wilder111: hi i'm here to check in(airport/hotel/convention). clerk: what's the last name? wilder111: father's last name-mother's last name clerk:......so.....mother's last name? wilder111: probably. clerk: ok, it's not there, let me check the other name. 20 minutes later clerk: ok i found you!
My sister didn't get married until after she had two kids. She complained all the time about how much of a pain in the ass it was when she went to the doctor's or picked up scripts or filled out forms how she had to explain her last name was different from the kids who had their dad's last name. Like VI said, nothing major, but an annoyance. I was running a Master's meet one time and had to page someone to the scorer's table. She happened to be standing in front of me with a friend when I did it and her friend turned to her and said she didn't know that was her last name. She explained her parents hyphenated it because they were hippies and she hated it and dropped one of the names for her public life. But since she had to use her full name for our forms, we had her as the whole long name. I had a lesson today to learn how to properly deadlift, squat and bench. It went rather well and I left feeling all energized. I didn't even feel sore after training for 90 minutes. Maybe my arms ached a little. Then I had an hour's car ride. And tried to get out of my car. I may or may not have whimpered a little (I did, I really did). Edit: I can't believe I forgot to mention this! I decided to get some Dunkin Donuts on the way home to reward myself for my awesomeness listed above and I got a coffee, sandwich and a chocolate chip muffin. Except it was blueberry! AGAIN! What the hell DD? Train your teenagers better to tell the difference between chocolate and blueberry. I ate some of the sugared top and then just stopped. I'm going to have to rethink my dessert choices and where I get them from.
I am sure you were no where near as energized as the instructor left after watching you deadlift, squat and bench. I trust you made sure all camera phones were properly stowed away.